Measure for Measure: I Need a Fitbit for My Brain

1 Nov

I need a fitbit for my brain, not my feet

We have fitness trackers that measure steps taken, miles logged, territory traversed.

Wearable technology enables us to monitor and access a vast world of valuable information.

For instance, a tracker will tell us if we’re a slacker when it comes to physical exercise.

That’s dandy, but…

Measure for Measure: I Need a Fitbit for my Brain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why not a tracker for our brain activity?

I want to track my daily thoughts, ideas, creative bursts, flights of fancy, feelings, dreams, and left brain vs. right brain activity.

How about measuring memories made and recovered?

Daily monitoring of moods and musings?

Instead of steps, how ’bout depths? Concepts?

An APP a day

I want an APP that will record the rich inner life of my noggin – not just my jogging.

How ’bout an APP that measures how many times we laugh each day?

Or how many times we feel love and kindness?

Jealousy? Annoyance? Rage at politicians? Existential angst?

Chocolate cravings? Penis envy? Coveting thy neighbor’s late model, luxury vehicle?

 

Measure for Measure: I Need a Fitbit for my Brain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Count Me In

I’m waiting for wearable technology that will measure the activity of my gray matter – not just my pitter-patter.

A mobile fMRI anybody?

Hey! Fitbit, Garmin, Apple… Step on it!

Measure the Pleasure Not the Pain

Is Your Brain Full?

Woof! Halloween Costumes Have Gone to the Dogs

19 Oct

Halloween Costumes and Dogs

Orange and black have invaded the retail world. Pumpkins, creepy decorations, and feed bags of over-priced candy block the aisles of every store – including the pet store. Orange is the new black, but dogs are the new orange.

Sniffing the $$$

According to MarketWatch, pet owners will spend nearly half a billion dollars on animal costumes this Halloween

Halloween Gone to the Dogs

Do dogs like dressing up? (I thought that was more of a gerbil thing.)

Animal behaviorists and dog cognition researchers suggest dogs aren’t crazy about dressing up, although they do appreciate the associated attention and treats from their owners. Imposing human garments on a canine likely stirs up pesky ancestral feelings.

Do you believe your special needs mongrel yearns to dress up as Albert Einstein or a bag of French Fries?

For God’s sake, a cocker spaniel is not comfortable wearing a petticoat and a sports bra!

https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/on-dressing-up-your-pets

Concerns

One worries… […]

Ridiculous News for Yous: The Silly Seven

7 Oct

Not all of the news is disturbing and stressful.

Some is merely absurd and weird.

Ridiculous is Good

The Silly Seven

  • A Cairo zoo is accused of painting donkeys to look like zebras. (Wrong on many levels, but resourceful)

 

Ridiculous News for Yous

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • NY Post: Study shows the universe is filled with disgusting, greasy goop. (We knew that!)

[…]

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

21 Sep

Are you a worry wart?

What I'm NOT Worried About Now

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

 

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

  • Ebola growing in my Brita filter

 

  • Pumpkin spice is back with a vengeance.

[…]

Genetic Testing for Traits We Really Want To Know About

7 Sep

Testing… 1 – 2 – 3… Testing

Barb Best Humor Blog Traits We Really Want to Know

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is available at-home genetic testing for likely traits such as cilantro aversion, earwax type (wet? dark-colored? sticky? Gross!), photic sneeze reflex (whatever that is), asparagus odor detection, and unibrow.

Seriously, do you need a DNA test to confirm your hair color (unless you actually can’t recall your original color) or remind you that you can smell asparagus in your pee?

Traits We Really Want To Know If We’re Carrying

  • Smart Ass gene
  • Propensity to drown in credit card debt
  • Pathological Liar
  • Lucky in love

[…]

Are You Still Kidding Me? Stacey Gustafson’s New Humor Book

22 Aug

Are You Still Kidding Me?

Ever finish your kid’s homework? Netflix cheat on your husband? Try to explain Alexa to your mother?

If so, you’re not alone—Stacey Gustafson’s back at it again with Are You Still Kidding Me?

Are You Still Kidding Me humor book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Highly Relatable Stories

In this hilarious and heartwarming sequel to her #1 Amazon bestseller Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives, Gustafson tackles the foibles of modern family life—from toddlers and teens to empty nesters—with wry wit and plenty of humor.

The Self-Care You Crave

Grab a cup of coffee, ease into the easy chair, and be prepared to laugh out loud along with Stacey—she may not be your new best friend, but you’ll feel like she is by the time you’ve finished these forty-five stories of family life, written by a mother who’s seen it all.

Your New BFF

Author Stacey Gustafson

Stacey Gustafson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[…]

How To Enjoy Swimming and Biking More

15 Aug

Summer Fun

How to enjoy swimming and biking more?

Courtesy of (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer

More Fun Swimming

the pool guarding gator

Swimming Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Fun Biking

the jester’s bicycle horn

Biking Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Don’t Forget Bailey, Lucy, Bella, Lucky, and Buster

the canine splash pool

Swimming Humor

Reading the News Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

29 Jul

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

Reading News Is Hazardous

 

 

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

 

 

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

6 Jul

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

GOOD NEWS!

Please welcome our little bundle of book joy. We have a second edition.

Find Your Funny: The Humor Survival Guide 2nd Edition

Available just in time for summer reading that is fun and helpful

For ages 12 and up – and for adults who are young at heart

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

 

 

 

ON AMAZON 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The quintessential book on the importance of humor in our lives.”

– Larry Wilde, New York Times Best Selling Author of How The Great Comedy Writers Create Laughter and Great Comedians Talk About Comedy

****

“The activities are creative and playful. The information is amusing and transformative. This isn’t a “Have To” book. This is a “Want To” book.”

– Jim Winter, Educator & Founder of Wavelength. Inc.

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

 

2nd Edition

Paperback version with black and white illustrations

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special price $9.99

On Amazon exclusively 

CLICK HERE 

Thank You!  Enjoy the Summer!

 

Technology: Just Because You Can… Do You Want To?

20 Jun

Technology: Because You Can

Technology is amazing.

Timesaving.

Stimulating.

Empowering.

Entertaining.

Seductive.

Technology: Because You Can

BUT…

  • Must you count every step you take? Fascinating at first, mundane after a week.

 

  • Do you desire a smart house? If you want to be surrounded by a superior intelligence – get a cat!

 

  • Seriously… do you need a motion-activated, glowing LED illuminated toilet seat?

[…]