15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

21 Sep

Are you a worry wart?

What I'm NOT Worried About Now

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

 

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

  • Ebola growing in my Brita filter

 

  • Pumpkin spice is back with a vengeance.

 

  • New iphone XS monthly charge is more expensive than a car lease.

 

  • Not using dryer balls

 

  • No textural chemistry among those in my book club

 

  • My cat thinks I’m a cat. What does this say about me? Have I sublimated my identity as a human to curry favor with a fifteen pound furball?

 

  • I can’t afford the rent on My Happy Place.

 

  • Healthy Halloween snacks are a bore.

 

  • Puppets – gay or straight – having sex in the preschool playroom. Bert and Ernie… what happens on Sesame Street stays on Sesame Street?

 

  • Age verification on Rose´ purchases

 

  • Crepey skin

 

  • Pig Poop

 

  • Sleep coach gives me nightmares

 

  • Honeymoon drone photography

 

Don’t be worried, be happy!

See you on Twitter (where there’s lots to worry about)  @HaBarb

My Thoughts While Trying To Meditate

Genetic Testing for Traits We Really Want To Know About

7 Sep

Testing… 1 – 2 – 3… Testing

Barb Best Humor Blog Traits We Really Want to Know

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is available at-home genetic testing for likely traits such as cilantro aversion, earwax type (wet? dark-colored? sticky? Gross!), photic sneeze reflex (whatever that is), asparagus odor detection, and unibrow.

Seriously, do you need a DNA test to confirm your hair color (unless you actually can’t recall your original color) or remind you that you can smell asparagus in your pee?

Traits We Really Want To Know If We’re Carrying

  • Smart Ass gene
  • Propensity to drown in credit card debt
  • Pathological Liar
  • Lucky in love

[…]

Are You Still Kidding Me? Stacey Gustafson’s New Humor Book

22 Aug

Are You Still Kidding Me?

Ever finish your kid’s homework? Netflix cheat on your husband? Try to explain Alexa to your mother?

If so, you’re not alone—Stacey Gustafson’s back at it again with Are You Still Kidding Me?

Are You Still Kidding Me humor book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Highly Relatable Stories

In this hilarious and heartwarming sequel to her #1 Amazon bestseller Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives, Gustafson tackles the foibles of modern family life—from toddlers and teens to empty nesters—with wry wit and plenty of humor.

The Self-Care You Crave

Grab a cup of coffee, ease into the easy chair, and be prepared to laugh out loud along with Stacey—she may not be your new best friend, but you’ll feel like she is by the time you’ve finished these forty-five stories of family life, written by a mother who’s seen it all.

Your New BFF

Author Stacey Gustafson

Stacey Gustafson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[…]

How To Enjoy Swimming and Biking More

15 Aug

Summer Fun

How to enjoy swimming and biking more?

Courtesy of (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer

More Fun Swimming

the pool guarding gator

Swimming Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Fun Biking

the jester’s bicycle horn

Biking Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Don’t Forget Bailey, Lucy, Bella, Lucky, and Buster

the canine splash pool

Swimming Humor

Reading the News Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

29 Jul

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

Reading News Is Hazardous

 

 

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

 

 

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

6 Jul

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

GOOD NEWS!

Please welcome our little bundle of book joy. We have a second edition.

Find Your Funny: The Humor Survival Guide 2nd Edition

Available just in time for summer reading that is fun and helpful

For ages 12 and up – and for adults who are young at heart

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

 

 

 

ON AMAZON 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The quintessential book on the importance of humor in our lives.”

– Larry Wilde, New York Times Best Selling Author of How The Great Comedy Writers Create Laughter and Great Comedians Talk About Comedy

****

“The activities are creative and playful. The information is amusing and transformative. This isn’t a “Have To” book. This is a “Want To” book.”

– Jim Winter, Educator & Founder of Wavelength. Inc.

Book News: Find Your Funny 2nd Edition

 

2nd Edition

Paperback version with black and white illustrations

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special price $9.99

On Amazon exclusively 

CLICK HERE 

Thank You!  Enjoy the Summer!

 

Technology: Just Because You Can… Do You Want To?

20 Jun

Technology: Because You Can

Technology is amazing.

Timesaving.

Stimulating.

Empowering.

Entertaining.

Seductive.

Technology: Because You Can

BUT…

  • Must you count every step you take? Fascinating at first, mundane after a week.

 

  • Do you desire a smart house? If you want to be surrounded by a superior intelligence – get a cat!

 

  • Seriously… do you need a motion-activated, glowing LED illuminated toilet seat?

[…]

Wine: Ruminations from the Bottom of a Glass of Rose´

3 Jun

Wine On!

Introspection does not come easy to some.

Since ancient times, women (especially) turn to vino while searching for deep thoughts.

After all, research has shown that drinking red wine helps you think. Trust me – something about increased blood flow to the brain.

So surely, the blush of resveratrol in Rose´wine aids in ruminating on life’s great issues.

 

Barb Best Humor

Wine: Ruminations from the Bottom of a Glass of Rose´

  • Unfortunately, joining a meal kit delivery service will not solve all of my time management problems.  Seems it takes a good deal of time to cook a real meal.

 

  • I am both the travel agent and tour guide on my children’s guilt trips. Where’s my commission? My tip?

[…]

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

14 May

Alternative Uses for your Anti-Anxiety Blanket

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

 

Alternative Uses for your Anti-Anxiety Blanket

 

Anti-Anxiety blankets for adults are all the rage.

They come in varying weights – heavy and heavier.

They are advertised as being the solution to all of your problems with insomnia, anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, chronic back pain, red velvet cupcake cravings, extreme couponing, and the bovine blues.

Plus, they are more FUN than a strait jacket!

However

If for some reason, your weighted blanket doesn’t calm you, but instead causes sleep paralysis or nightmares that you’re being suffocated by a colossal beanbag…

Alternative Uses for your Anti-Anxiety Blanket

Eureka!

 

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

  1. Functions as a saddle when giving young children horsey rides or for your own equine pleasure with consenting adults.

 

  1. Great for muscle toning. Pump like barbells. It’s never too early to fend off osteopenia, pop a neck vein, or jerk yourself a hiatal hernia.

[…]

Mother’s Day Gift Suggestions for Badass Moms

21 Apr

Mother’s Day is soon.

Forget the sappy lace cards, the lazy texts, the half-baked brunches, and the lame flowers!

How ’bout a cutting edge gift from the gut that your badass mom can really enjoy?

Badass Moms Barb Best Humor

7 Mother’s Day Gifts for Badass Moms

  • Matching tattoos. What a great bonding experience for Mommy and the little ones. Yes, there will be tears, but this is your legacy. How sweet!  You and your kids will flash the same toxic ink image for the rest of your lives.

 

  • A trip to the archery range. Nothing says “Urgent Care” like a bow and arrow in virgin hands. Who needs a Glock 43 when you are adept with lethal projectiles? You’ll score a bullseye to Mom’s heart with this thoughtful gift.

[…]