Pet Peeves and the Curmudgeonly Spirit

10 Sep

Curmudgeons are in a perpetual state of annoyance.

They cultivate their pet peeves wholeheartedly.

With art and age comes a greater license to voice such pained sentiments.

If you can kvetch in a funny way – it is a blessing to all.

In the spirit of the book by Joan Rivers I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me

And with tongue in cheek

My PET PEEVES… Stuff I Hate!

Stemless wine glasses   (They look like cheap jelly jars for preschoolers)

Lengthy Minimalist newsletters   (Duh)

Celebrity babies   (Nobody under the age of 5 months should dress that well)

Gluten-free poseurs   (You know who you are)

Being in a damn coma   (Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?)

Smiley face prints on humorless people   (Good try, but it sends a mixed message)

Faux shabby chic fashion   (What statement do shredded jeans make? I’m homeless?)

Hobbit couture   (The books and the movies, too… more effective than Ambien)

Coaches for everything   (How to walk, how to chew gum)

Fuchsia leopard prints on world class athletes   (Distracting)

iPhone brain freeze   (I scream, we all scream at AT&T, Verizon, Sprint…)

Rowing blazers on douche bags   (Think Kardashians in the Hamptons)

Artisanal breakfast spreads on processed waffles   (Lipstick on a pig)

#1 PET PEEVE   End of life counseling!

(And, of course, death)

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Life is short. Quick! Let’s LIKE each other on Facebook HERE :-)

 

English: Scan of Joan Rivers' autograph with h...

English: Scan of Joan Rivers’ autograph with her famous catch phrase “Can we talk?” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Cry Me a Joan River

4 Sep

 

 JOAN RIVERS was a force of nature. Early on especially, Joan bubbled over with playful, hyperbolic, self-deprecating humor. Fresh and feminine. Clever. Smart. I was thrilled to have written, sold one-liners to her for over 5 years. She was an amazing performer, writer, editor, author of 12 books. She’ll be funny always. Like Robin Williams, she is also being remembered for her kindness and generosity.

https://www.facebook.com/BarbBestHumor

Joan Rivers

“My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. 

Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.”

Reality TV – An Escape from Reality

2 Sep

 

SEPTEMBER…

Back to school for many,

Back to Reality TV for many more.

We know that Reality TV bears no resemblance to “real” reality – as in “the” news, world events, family problems, and friend dramas – hence it’s wide appeal and immense popularity.

Yum. Reality TV is junk food for the brain.

At its best, it’s amusement for the culturally curious.

Which 1 REALITY TV SHOW provides you with hours of guilty viewing pleasure?

Which 1 REALITY TV SHOW is the worst? And, by that, I mean you can’t take your eyes off the screen?

The Bachelor ?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ?

The Kardashians ?

Yes, that is 3… but who’s counting?

See you on Twitter!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

 

 

 

 

 

I Feel Your Salmonella Pain

26 Aug

 

This week,

I was going to write a scholarly (yet hilarious and insightful) treatise on the societal impact of dual hula hoop and ice bucket challenge addictions…

but I was deterred – and perhaps sickened – by the latest salmonella peanut-almond butter scare.

EXHIBIT A:  My jar of almond butter fingered by the FDA.  Selected for it’s superior nutritional value. It’s so tasty, too!

 

Almond Butter [...]

“Smiles To Go” Photo Collection

19 Aug

Ball posing with a selection of Smiley merchan...

Ball posing with a selection of Smiley merchandising (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Smiles to Go

In honor of World Smile Day coming up on October 3rd,

we celebrate Harvey Ball, the graphic artist and creator of (ta-da)

THE smiley face.

Harvey drew the original smiley face 50 years ago.

Pain and misery are out there… but, guess what? [...]

Send In the Damn Clowns

12 Aug

 

SEND IN THE CLOWNS…

[I]t’s a theater reference meaning “if the show isn’t going well, let’s send in the clowns”;

in other words, “let’s do the jokes.” – Stephen Sondheim

 

When asked about Robin Williams, most say “sweet.”  I LOVE this!

 

There’s a classic story about the legendary clown Joseph Grimaldi that comes to mind…

The patient  http://www.historyextra.com/blog/patient [...]

7 Great Ideas That Will Change the World?

7 Aug

 

Everyone wants to change the world.

Great Ideas that will Change the World

(well, maybe just mine or yours )

1. Move to the beach; adopt casual coastal philosophy toward life (and flooring).

 

2. Convert the boring automatic dishwasher in the (duh) kitchen to a wine cooler. Cheers! [...]

Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder

2 Aug

 

 

Scribbled on an iPhone “Notes” APP near you…

 

  • If a stranger tells you, “I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy!” three times in the course of a ten minute conversation in a doctor’s waiting room… take them at their word.  Run for the hills.
  • Overheard at the veterinarian’s office: “Coyotes are cute. I want to hug them all.” Good luck with that…

[...]

I Feel Your Pain – Technical Support

26 Jul

 

We hope that your session with Technical Support was helpful.

Here is the transcript you requested.

Krandeep:  Thank you for contacting Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable. Give me a minute while I access your account.

Me: (grumble, grumble)

Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Hello Ms. Best. How are you today?

Me: In a nutshell… fairly frustrated.

Krandeep: Great to know that.

Me: If I miss the RHONY finale this evening, I’ll never speak to Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable again. I’ll have to steal – I mean stream – all my precious TV shows on the internet like the dead broke – I mean budget-minded – Millenials.

Krandeep: Okay, thank you for that information. [...]

2 Cartoonists You Will Love

19 Jul

 

The New Yorker

The New Yorker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I was weaned on The New Yorker Magazine cartoons.

 

Who doesn’t have a special place in their heart for Charles Schultz and Peanuts?

 

Do you love cartoons?

 

Do you miss the Sunday “funnies” you read as a child? [...]

Page 1 of 1912345...10...Last »