I Feel Your Salmonella Pain

26 Aug

 

This week,

I was going to write a scholarly (yet hilarious and insightful) treatise on the societal impact of dual hula hoop and ice bucket challenge addictions…

but I was deterred – and perhaps sickened – by the latest salmonella peanut-almond butter scare.

EXHIBIT A:  My jar of almond butter fingered by the FDA.  Selected for it’s superior nutritional value. It’s so tasty, too!

 

Almond Butter

JUST THE FACTS MA’AM:  Ingested by me before falling ill.

EXHIBITS B, C, D, E, and F:   You do not want to see these images. Too gross.

What’s a summer without a smattering of salmonella with your sunburned cheeks and strained family car trips?

Peanut butter and jelly used to be so innocent – now it involves a stomach pump and a hospital stay.

Hey, I know…

Let’s forget about nut butter… and go back to BUTTER BUTTER!

Butter and a butter knife

Butter and a butter knife (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

HuffPost – list of peanut and almond butter brands

 

Follow me on TWITTER for latest developments & to share your pain :-)

I’m @HaBarb

Disclaimer: I don’t really have salmonella, nor do you!

 

 

“Smiles To Go” Photo Collection

19 Aug

Ball posing with a selection of Smiley merchan...

Ball posing with a selection of Smiley merchandising (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Smiles to Go

In honor of World Smile Day coming up on October 3rd,

we celebrate Harvey Ball, the graphic artist and creator of (ta-da)

THE smiley face.

Harvey drew the original smiley face 50 years ago.

Pain and misery are out there… but, guess what? [...]

Send In the Damn Clowns

12 Aug

 

SEND IN THE CLOWNS…

[I]t’s a theater reference meaning “if the show isn’t going well, let’s send in the clowns”;

in other words, “let’s do the jokes.” – Stephen Sondheim

 

When asked about Robin Williams, most say “sweet.”  I LOVE this!

 

There’s a classic story about the legendary clown Joseph Grimaldi that comes to mind…

The patient  http://www.historyextra.com/blog/patient [...]

7 Great Ideas That Will Change the World?

7 Aug

 

Everyone wants to change the world.

Great Ideas that will Change the World

(well, maybe just mine or yours )

1. Move to the beach; adopt casual coastal philosophy toward life (and flooring).

 

2. Convert the boring automatic dishwasher in the (duh) kitchen to a wine cooler. Cheers! [...]

Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder

2 Aug

 

 

Scribbled on an iPhone “Notes” APP near you…

 

  • If a stranger tells you, “I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy!” three times in the course of a ten minute conversation in a doctor’s waiting room… take them at their word.  Run for the hills.
  • Overheard at the veterinarian’s office: “Coyotes are cute. I want to hug them all.” Good luck with that…

[...]

I Feel Your Pain – Technical Support

26 Jul

 

We hope that your session with Technical Support was helpful.

Here is the transcript you requested.

Krandeep:  Thank you for contacting Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable. Give me a minute while I access your account.

Me: (grumble, grumble)

Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Hello Ms. Best. How are you today?

Me: In a nutshell… fairly frustrated.

Krandeep: Great to know that.

Me: If I miss the RHONY finale this evening, I’ll never speak to Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable again. I’ll have to steal – I mean stream – all my precious TV shows on the internet like the dead broke – I mean budget-minded – Millenials.

Krandeep: Okay, thank you for that information. [...]

2 Cartoonists You Will Love

19 Jul

 

The New Yorker

The New Yorker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I was weaned on The New Yorker Magazine cartoons.

 

Who doesn’t have a special place in their heart for Charles Schultz and Peanuts?

 

Do you love cartoons?

 

Do you miss the Sunday “funnies” you read as a child? [...]

Are You Kidding Me? Author Stacey Gustafson

16 Jul

 

Writer Stacey Gustafson has a funny blog.

This fall, she will have a funny book out…

 

Gustafson_Cover_FRONT_72dpi

Hop into your minivan and get ready to cruise through the crazies of Suburbia! [...]

7 Signs Your Dog and Your Cat are Gifted!

12 Jul

Yippee! It’s a summer rerun :-D

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet and social media. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” [...]

Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog by Lisa Scottoline

5 Jul

 

Listening to and LOVING this audiobook!

ICYMI – Lisa Scottoline and daughter Francesca Serritella at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop:

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