Tina Fey‘s 5 year old daughter Alice says crazy funny things all the time. She’s constantly cracking Tina up. How cute!
Did I say… she’s five?
As daughters become older, they become increasingly
brutal entertaining and wise – especially with their advice.
Tips From My Teen
- Lose the Carol Brady haircut.
- Nothing dates you more than saying “groovy.”
- Don’t chat with the grocery store cashier like she’s a long lost BFF.
- Don’t pay for HBO. Watch TV on your computer for free.
- Ordering hummus in a restaurant is wrong on many levels.
- No matter how whimsical you feel, leave the glitter eye shadow to Disney Pop Stars.
- Don’t respond to a text message right away – it looks desperate.
- “The Beatles” is a lousy name for a band. Get over it.
- Too much make-up on 5 year olds and 50 year olds is equally as scary.
- If you slept with JFK or Warren Beatty, I DON’T want to hear about it. I don’t even know who Warren Beatty is.
- Baggy pants make you look like OMG you’re wearing a diaper.
- Don’t panic if you can’t understand WTF your laptop is doing.
- Study a texting dictionary (online) of acronyms so you understand the “newfangled” lingo.
- Coddling the cat/dog like he’s a human child strikes many as needy.
- Stop with the Viva Viagra jokes. It’s LOL pathetic.
- Anyone seriously considering an eyebrow transplant is much older than they think they are.
- Sudoku is no substitute for a real hobby like windsurfing or limbo skating.
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.