Alarm Clocks are Evil and Sleep is Divine

4 Jan

BarbBestHumorBlog

 

I hate alarm clocks, even the cute one on my iPhone.

They are about as comforting as jackhammers and leg cramps – and almost as jarring as a bugle blast in the face.

Good Morning Sunshine!

Must greeting the new day become a cortisol-pumping emergency?

Starting the day with such urgency fills you with dread, not joy.

Alarm Clock on Steroids

Aren’t alarm clocks alarming enough without this whimsical twist?

 

Sonic Alert SBB500SS Sonic Bomb Loud Dual Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker

BarbBestHumorBlog

  • Turbo charged loud, vibrating alarm clock
  • Shakes you awake with powerful bed shaker
  • Built-in pulsating alert lights
  • Large red LCD
  • Explosive red display

 OMG!!!

Why must an alarm clock convey the danger of an impending nuclear attack?

Who needs this level of motivation to get out of bed?

Who on earth – and not in a coma – sleeps this deeply?

Some very lucky S.O.B. that’s who! (Nobody I know.)

Sleep is heavenly.

Sleep is nourishing.

Sleep is healthy, and slimming, too 🙂

BarbBestHumorBlog

 

Waking up should not trigger a cardiac event.

Bring back the rooster and his heartfelt “cock-a-doodle-doo.”

Wishing you a restful New Year rich with naps, dreams, and laughter.

Facebook  never sleeps

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Holidays: Death by Fruitcake

15 Dec

Happy Holidays!

Want to die doing what you love?

How about overindulging in the irresistible holiday treats that are ubiquitous this time of year?

Four out of five sugar addicts agree – holiday food is the best way to go.

Death by fruitcake humor blog

 

Fruitcake

Like ukelele music, you either love fruitcake or you hate it.

There are at least two ways to die via fruitcake. […]

May I Suggest a New Hobby?

2 Dec

May I suggest a new hobby?

 

New Hobby Barb Best Humor

 

These are a few hobbies I’m seriously considering…

Sleep Eating

Sleep can be oh so boring, so what better way to liven it up? Go on a groggy 2:00 a.m. binge with a banana bundt cake or a bucket of fried chicken – all without the guilt. Sleep eating combines two of my favorite activities… sleeping and eating!

Competitive dog grooming

It’s also pet therapy. Everyone gets a sloppy kiss. Also a few bites and scratches. […]

How To Have A Homicide-Free Holiday

22 Nov

 

Thanksgiving with the family?

We all agree a homicide-free holiday is nice.

Don't talk Politics

MY TIPS

  • Don’t talk politics.

 

  • Respect your family members’ feelings… even if they are obviously stupid, illogical, and batsh*t crazy.

 

  • Don’t talk politics.

[…]

News and You: It’s Time for An Intervention

12 Nov

News and Yous: It's Time for An Intervention

A News Intervention

Have you been overdosing on the news?  (Of course you have.)

Consuming media 24/7?  (You bet!)

Watching, reading, and listening to everything? (Oh, yeah.)

News and Yous: It's Time for An Intervention

Now that the election is over

Perhaps you need to go on an Information Diet, Internet Detox, or Facebook Cleanse?

If you are like me, you are ready for a strong bourbon and a boob massage about now. […]

Sleep is for the Single-Minded: Zzz

4 Nov

Sleep, where art thou?

 

ZZZZ! Sleep is for the Single

Photo Credit:Barb Best

 

Why can’t you sleep?

ZZZ!

Help me please, I barely sleep a wink

And three a.m. is no time to think,

Could it be restless feet or something dumber

Forcing me to lose my beauty slumber? […]

Comedy and Cancer: What’s So Funny?

21 Oct

Cover of "Cancer Schmancer"

Cover of Cancer Schmancer

Comedy and Cancer

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Here are a few funny and empowering books, plays, TV series, and movies that promote humor and comedy when battling cancer.

Tig Notaro

Stand-up comedian and writer survived breast cancer and a double mastectomy.

“Hello, I Have Cancer.” […]

Stressed? 5 Reasons YOU Are Stressed Out

14 Oct

You are stressed out. You are worried. You are miserable.

You are not alone 😀

Barring a terrorist attack, cataclysmic global economic collapse, or tainted Halloween candy, October is usually a fairly innocuous month.

But not this October.

 

Stressed?

Squeeze!

Reason #1. Did you notice? UGH. It’s an election year.

[…]

Clown Hysteria: Why is Everybody DOWN on CLOWNS?

1 Oct

Don't talk Politics

Clowns

All the world apparently doesn’t love a clown.

Why the haters?

 

Clowns: Why is Everybody Down on Clowns?

 

It seems to be hip to see ALL clowns as “creepy” and zombies as cool.

It’s ironic that zombies streaked in blood and oozing death are deemed benevolent while goofy clowns donned in ginormous polka-dots are most likely evil.

Am I alone, but what’s not to love about red rubber noses, orange wigs, baggy pants, exaggerated make-up, and over-sized floppy shoes?

99.9999999999999999% of Hollywood – and everyone on TV – wears fake hair and too much make-up. So what?

For the record

My favorite zombie is “the tall mixed drink consisting of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice.” […]

Back to Work: 7 Distractions You Really Can’t Ignore

21 Sep

7 Distractions We Can’t Ignore!

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on work when this important stuff is on your mind…

Barb Best Humor Distractions

  • Prepping my porch for fall

 

  • Harvest decor… why?

 

  • Gurgling intestinal sounds, mine and others

 

  • My body double has fallen and she can’t get up

[…]

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