While You Were NOT Sleeping

8 Jun

 

“I’ll sleep when I die!” – Lady Gaga

I am proud to announce…

I have made a significant discovery which will advance science and help humankind.

TA DA!

 

“Food for thought” makes you fat.

 

Let me explain.

If you think too much, you most likely will not sleep well.

 Too Many Thoughts

+

 Inadequate Sleep = Too Much Cortisol

 

AND Too Much Cortisol = FAT

 

Are you (like me) a “Type A” mess even in your dreams?

Do you find yourself awake nights… pondering the universe, searching for the meaning of reality TV, and contemplating the price of espresso beans?

Thoughts that can plague you at 1:30 a.m.

  •  Less isn’t more. Humor is more. What, if anything, does this mean?
  • Jerry Lewis says he wants to kill Joan Rivers.  Who doesn’t?  She must be doing something right.

    Jerry Lewis

    Cover of Jerry Lewis

  •  Cats don’t need opposable thumbs. They have opposable natures. True or false?
  •  Is there a refrigerator magnet museum? If not, why not?
  •  Is the puppy of a wiener dog called a weenie?  By anyone over the age of five?
  •  Why isn’t there a sugar-free, chocolate-flavored toothpaste?
  •  Did I forget to pay the cable bill again?

In conclusion… sleep deprivation is due to a way too busy little brain.

Guess what? While you weren’t sleeping, you gained five pounds.

Join me and quiet your mind…

Type “A” couple – Portlandia’s Kath & Dave

 

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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

 

 

 

 

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5 Responses to “While You Were NOT Sleeping”

  1. Joanne Jackal June 8, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

    That formula is brilliant! You’re a shoo-in for a Nobel Prize in Physics! It explains so much. Now I can stop thinking AND stop exercising (no need to go to the gym because I’ll be so slim from not thinking!) Perfect.

    • Barb Best June 8, 2014 at 7:32 pm #

      Love your astute scientific reasoning! We ought to collaborate 🙂

  2. Diane June 9, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    Hmmm…join you in quieting my mind followed by the Type A couple video. Cue music: one of the things is not like the other… Thanks for another laugh, Barb.

    • Barb Best June 9, 2014 at 5:42 pm #

      Thank YOU, Diane 😀

  3. International Bloggers Association June 13, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

    Hi Barb,

    We found your blog via the bloggymoms directory and thought you would be a good fit for the IBA.

    We’re a support network for bloggers and we’d love to have you with us. Interested?

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