Bellyache: Guess Who Came To Dinner

13 May

 

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

 

Uninvited: Guess Who Came To Dinner

 

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

According to the CDC, “eating food contaminated with the bacterium Listeria monocytogenes, is an important public health problem in the United States.”

Is it too much to ask? Listeria free dining?  Salmonella free salad? A taco that isn’t tainted?

Who needs to water board terrorist suspects? Just order dinner from Chipotle.

Fearful of food-borne illness?  Order the E. coli on the side.

How come nobody gets salmonella poisoning from a Big Mac, a Cinnabon, or a Snicker’s bar?

Cinnabon – I love you! Nobody ever fell sick from a cinnamon bun… or two or five. (I should know)

It’s only the “holier than thou” healthy super foods that are consistently infected – the broccoli, spinach, kale, edamame for God’s sake, and even the frozen organic vegetables (thank you Trader Joe’s).

Can we just say NO! to Norovirus?

On the other (clean) hand,

In a perfect world…

there would be nothing to bellyache about.

Now that sounds like torture 🙂

 

Miley Cyrus as Hanna Montana – Officer Diaria

 

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