Barb Best

Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

While contemplating goals and intentions for the new year 2021 (yawn),

I asked pals, “What have I and/or you accomplished in 2020?”

Prolific artistic output?  A thick, juicy novel ripe with creative breakthroughs?

A slew of wonderful new paintings — like 83 year old David Hockney?

After a totally non-scientific study and truly shallow analysis…

Ta Da!

The Results! Winning!

Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

• I started and cultivated a new hobby – an enviable collection of stylish and uncomfortable face masks and – who knew – a fashion accessory fetish.

• Gained 5 (or so, but who’s counting?) pounds

• Learned to bake a killer sourdough bread. I hate sourdough bread. It’s sour!

• Subscribed to Netflix, Dash, Hello Fresh, Uber Eats and YouTube Premium.

• Burned out a toaster oven and a knee.

• Reached Level 555 on Words With Friends. Woo Hoo!

• Watched 5,725 hours of Netflix TV shows – and remember nothing.

• Spent quality nap time with housebound, emotionally needy feline.

• Cancelled Netflix.

• Took MasterClasses in French Pastry Fundamentals + Wine Appreciation (See #2 Gained weight)

• Developed a sleep disorder. Ironic being that I had so much more time for sleeping.

• Sprouted some hopping mad hemorrhoids. Misery loves company, and so does sitting all day. TMI BFF!

• Grew a mangy beard, got fleas from the dog, lost my girlfriend, took up smoking. Ouch.

• Improved interspecies communications with personal feline. Blink, blink, blink, bat eyelashes, smile sheepishly.

• Taught myself to play the electric guitar like Hendrix and Van Halen – sort of (thank you YouTube)

• Engaged in squabbles and high-minded food fights with friends on Facebook. But were they ever really “friends?”

• Ruminated endlessly upon philosophical conundrums such as “If laughter is medicine, can’t I be allergic to it?  Or overdose?”

• Stayed alive. Did not die laughing. Whew! Success!

2021: WINNING!

Redefining success in 2021 – Happy & Healthy New Year!

If It’s January, Those Must Be Vitamins You’re Popping

WORD PLAY WITH FRIENDS

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

Comedy. Laughter. Humor.

Take as often as needed.

No costly doctor’s appointment – in the flesh or virtual – required.

No adverse side effects – not even the usual ones – nausea, headache, constipation, diarrhea, kleptomania, heart attack, tennis elbow, diarrhea, flat foot, droopy eye, dandruff, diarrhea and death.

And – best of all – you can’t overdose on laughter.

Great List ~ Best Comedies to Stream on Netflix ~ Mental Floss

If your time or attention span is short, just watch the trailers for some laughs.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/622691/best-comedies-to-stream-on-netflix

Classic Cat Mental Health Video

This video is especially funny during these days of isolation and existential angst.

You know you want to laugh.

“Comedy Tonight ” with Jason Alexander

A funny thing happened on the way to the pandemic. We maintained our sense of humor 😀

Humor links

https://www.barbbest.com/links/

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

Smiles To Go! The World Needs A Smile

Please support The Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor  and The Humor Academy 

Welcome to the April Fools Sh*t Show

OMG. A pandemic!

And you thought the worst thing about April would be paying your taxes?

In case we all missed it, National Humor Month is here.  Whoopee!

How to celebrate?

How ’bout a month of lock-down, confinement with family and pets (if you’re lucky), unparalleled gut-wrenching anxiety, and mindless navel gazing?

A Sh*tstorm

is “a very unpleasant or difficult situation.”

Ah, don’t you love British understatement?

Patience

Remember – “April showers hitting the fan may bring May flowers and nagging allergies.”

Amusement & Good News

It’s high time to add some amusement to the misery.

Check out John Krasinski and his Good News

Look, ma! Disney Amusement Park rides on YouTube! And no lines!

Be patient and don’t become a patient.

News to Amuse – 7 Items that Won’t Stress You Out

Hand washing or hand wringing

2 minutes x 30 times = 1 Hour a Day

Are you sick of standing at the sink scrubbing your hands for two minutes at a clip?

Do surgeons envy your disinfecting skills?

Is all this cleaning becoming a tad tedious?

Has the whole world gone OCD?

“Better safe than sorry!”

Hand Washing – 7 Ways to Have More Fun

• Recite the Greek alphabet – backwards

• While soaping up, video yourself naked and post to YouTube

• Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong – or scream

• Count the number of toilet paper rolls and Purell squeeze bottles you have hoarded in the last week

• Meditate, chew gum, blow bubbles, hum

• Cry over all of the awesome sports events and concerts you’ll miss in the next month

• Do squats, lunges and buttock-lifting exercises while washing – oh, what fun!

~ Stay Healthy ~ 

5 Flu Prevention Tips for Hypochondriacs & Moms

≈

Thoughts While Waiting for a Colonoscopy

Sooner or later, we all have this medical procedure done.

My thoughts

My colonoscopy

• At least I get to lie down for awhile. I could use a nap. Too bad it takes an invasive medical procedure and an I.V. propofol drip to cop a snooze. Michael Jackson, I feel your pain.

• The slit in the back of this gown is rather stylish. Perhaps a new fashion trend? Maybe the holes in jeans are in the wrong places.

[…]

Freedom!

Choice!

Minimalism?

There is a disturbing trend… people wearing the same thing every day.

What happened to fashion, style, color, texture, variety?

Fashion can be exciting, creative, stimulating.

Just ask Lady Gaga

Celebrate your freedom this 4th!

[…]

Puddles Pity Party

What’s not to love?

[…]

My cat has a bucket list.

As a matter of fact, he has nine.

            You talkin’ to me?

He has (begrudgingly) granted me permission to share his first list with you.

• Roll in the dirt with that sassy ginger tabby from across the street who struts by my sliding glass door several times a week.

[…]

Welcome, y’all!

This is the weekly meeting of HA – Humorholics Anonymous.

Hmm, I see many horrified new faces here tonight.

No fear. We have enough caffeine and sugar on the back table to put you in a coma – and most likely fuel some new addictions. Ha, Ha.

Sorry, I  joked in a compulsive way. I’m working on that. […]

Woo Hoo! 2015!

Got resolutions?

I’ve got RID-solutions!

Good luck!

In 2015, let’s say Bye-Bye to…

1.      Denial.  “I’ll just have one more chocolate covered cherry because, after all, it’s a vital part of celebrating holiday traditions and participating in the pursuit of freedom.”

2.    Pride. I will not become irritated when I lose at tennis even though a) it is obviously my partner’s fault b) the sun is in my eyes c) I had too much coffee for breakfast d) not enough coffee e) I have a calf cramp f) I’m not wearing my lucky socks. […]