Tag Archives: writing

Updated Book Titles for Today’s Children

9 Dec

 

 BarbBestHumor

Today’s children are worldly wise and sophisticated beyond their years.

They need to read books that reflect their knowledge and experience. Books they can actually relate to.

BarbBestHumorBooks

Perhaps these UPDATED books?

  • The Little Engine that Could if it Just Had Some Decent Therapy

 

  • The Velveteen Hypoallergenic Rabbit

 

  • Charlotte’s Website Hack

 

  • A Wrinkle in Quality Time

[…]

How To Skunk Writer’s Block

14 Oct

 

BarbBest.com

Are you having trouble writing?

You are not alone.

Whether it’s a thousand page trilogy or merely a text to your cousin you can’t finish, you need support.

I suggest you join Writers’ AnonymousWA.

For full-time professionals, it’s WA WA.

You will learn the necessary tools and steps to lick writer’s block in the bud. […]

Pun for All? Sounds Fishy To Me

15 Jun

 

Do you like puns?

Do you enjoy punning?

Is it true that a pun is the lowest form of wit?

Is a pun fun?

I love the wordplay involved, and even if the pun is a painfully obvious one… I appreciate the intent and the effort.

It’s my observation that most boys/men tend to appreciate punning more than most girls/women, or say, your average cocker spaniel.

Why is this? Perhaps because the male species is accustomed to playing with… their food?  Their cars? Or whatever?

 

Barb Best Humor Blog

At The Reel Inn restaurant in Malibu, CA they celebrate the pun on their “Special of the Day” menu board out in front.

Fun Signs I have spotted:

“Catfish In The Rye”

“Grouper Therapy”

“Go ahead. Mako my day!”

“Weapons of Bass Destruction”

and

“Tuna Guitar.”

Here’s to more restaurants with a sense of play! Bon appetitter.

Home cocker spaniel

Home cocker spaniel (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Join me on Twitter where anything – including all kinds of pun – goes! I’m @HaBarb

 

Words With Moms

6 May

 

An 1888 advertisement for Webster’s Unabridged...

An 1888 advertisement for Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

One of the BEST things I learned from my mother…

best |best| superlative of good
adjective
of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality
• most enjoyable: some of the best times of my life.
• most appropriate, advantageous, or well advised

“If you don’t know the meaning of a word, look it up in the dictionary,” she insisted.

Once an English Major, always an English Major.  As the Mental Floss T-shirt joke goes, “I’m an English Major. You do the math.”

My mother kept a thick, worn hardcover copy of her college edition Webster’s Dictionary on a little shelf in the corner of the kitchen. […]

The Scarlet Letter

20 Feb

19 Feb

Credit: theknot.com.auCredit: theknot.com.au

In Scrabble, the letter “F” merits a respectable four points. There are only two “F” tiles in the game set, which makes the number of words you can form with the letter “F” relatively limited.

In the real world, the “F” word is everywhere.

In the evolution of the English language, when did “Oh, darn!” become  “Oh, Fu#!” What happened to “friggin?” When did “fudge” deteriorate into “Fu#!”?

When did “take the F train” become “take the ‘Fu#!-ing’ train?”

When did dropping the F-bomb so casually become the status quo?

“F” used to convey a meaning of failure.  A rude, red “F” on a spelling quiz or a math exam would elicit disappointment, or at the least – some extra homework.  Now, “F” means “Fantastic! Fabulous! Good effort! You’re gifted.“

Thank you, Adam Mansbach for your mega bestseller, “Go The F**k To Sleep.”

I’m writing a new book entitled “Stop hurling the “F” word every five seconds because you’re coarsening the language and culture. Plus it’s lazy and boring!”

At some point, talking like a truck driver became cooler than driving a truck.  But like carbon emissions, sulfur dioxide, and lead, “F” contributes to air pollution.

We expect a liberal use of the “F” word from sailors, soldiers, pimps, graffiti artists, New Jersey housewives, Vice Presidents, and F-list stand-up comics, but not from role models or mommy bloggers.

Overheard at the dinner table:

Ten year old daughter:  “Mommy uses the “F” word on her blog!”

Hubs (to Mom):  “You do?”

Mom:  “No, of course not. Well, sometimes, but -”

Daughter:  “You shouldn’t say ‘butt’ either.”

Mom:  “Sweetheart, I’m a writer. I have poetic license.”

Daughter:  “I saw the “F” word twice on your last post.”

Hubs:  “Great. I hope my parents don’t read your blog.”

Daughter:  “And she says it on Twitter ALL the time!”

Hubs:  “Geez…”

Mom:  “Well, you know, everyone else does it…”

Daughter:  “In CAPS. On Twitter. That’s like yelling it.”

Mom:  “It’s for dramatic effect.  I’m using the vernacular. Look it up, honey.”

Daughter:  “In the dictionary?”

Mom:  “Just Google it. V-E-R-”

Daughter:  “Never mind, Mommy. Fu#!” it!”

*****

What do you think?

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Sweet Talk

12 Feb

Gotta love romance in advertising.  Sweet talk seduces us.

This sharp little Mini Cooper S Convertible is officially Champagne colored.

Sweet TalkTopless!

However accurate they may be, the words “Beige,” “Fungus,” and “Urine” don’t seem to have the same attraction as “Champagne.”

I hope the paint doesn’t have a lot of bubbles in it.

I’ll bet it’s really easy to get a DUI in this  car.

Cruising topless in your champagne colored car = joy ride.

“Passion” perfume.

Credit: Californiaperfumes.com

Names like “Bonking,” “Boffing,” or “Horny” don’t hold the same power or charm as “Passion,” do they?

“Kiss.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Obviously, “Kiss” says it better than “peck,” “canoodle,” or “buss.”

Wikimedia CommonsHershey

Hershey “Pecks?” “Smooches?” “Osculations?” No thank you.

Paris Hilton “Tease.”

Credit: Cupidspulse.com

“Tease” says it better than “Shallow,” “Ditzy,” or “Silly Billy.”  Smells like… money!

“My Funny Valentine” available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

©2012, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

Direct questions regarding permissions: barbsblast@gmail.com

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