Barb Best

Hello

So much email, so many phone calls, too many texts… too little time.

So Why Haven’t I Returned Your Emails, Calls, and Texts in 5 Weeks?

Hello! It’s challenging to muster the same sense of urgency to email, call, text responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching The Tennis Channel.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails, calls, texts either 🙂 […]

Does Valentine’s Day bring out the underachiever in you?

Join the crowd.

Don’t sweat it.

7 Foolproof EXCUSES you can use!

• I’m still in recovery from the Christmas and New Year’s holiday hoopla. Why can’t Valentine’s Day be in August?

• My dog ate the 15-page love poem I wrote you. He’s jealous because you’re so wonderful.

[…]

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to demonstrate some self-love.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give yourself a hug. Indulge your senses. Treat yourself.

The pressure is on!  Satisfy yourself!

Need a quickie fun gift for YOU (okay… or a loved one) for Valentine’s Day?

How ’bout My Funny Valentine paperback or ebook?

* Less calories than a box of luscious chocolate truffles.

* Funnier than fudge.

* Cheaper than French champagne.

* Stays fresh longer than a bunch of sagging, flaccid grocery store flowers.

* More invigorating than a hot oil massage.

* Perfect for regifting.

* Women love books, dude!

* So many entertaining writers are in it.

* Number #1 (self-love) reason – I’m in it!  “Hilarious bits by Barb Best”

* Amazon reviews are unanimous – My Funny Valentine is a lot of laughs!

“To learn to love, you must laugh.”

To laugh, you can buy this “treasure of a book” at  Amazon

Related articles

• 5 Funny Valentine’s Gifts from Stupid.com
• A Few Valentine’s Day Picture Books from Harper Collins
• Our Changing Meanings of Valentine’s Day
• Valentines Crafts, Kids Valentines Crafts

Guns aren’t nice, so here’s a poem in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

                                              WHAT THE HELL DO WOMEN WANT ANYWAY?

What do women want, dude?

I’ll tell you!

Kill the black widow spider

Smash the horse fly

Wrestle that ’gator in yonder lake

Slice the venom-spitting snake.

Pulverize the prowler

In one Superman swoop,

No spurting blood

No cracking bones

Do it nice, don’t tell me how

No messes, but do it now.

What do women want, dude?

I’ll tell you!

Purr like a kitten, tiger

Dance the Howdy Doody

Rock ‘n Roll me with violins,

Shower me with mortal sins.

Sail me love letters

In my alphabet soup

Stir it hard,

Use your imagination,

Be a prince, show some stately grace,

Valentine me with diamonds and lace.

What do women want, dude?

Most of all?

At least try to enthrall,

A dozen red roses, pricks and all.

Available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

©2013, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

I LIKE YOU! LIKE ME on Facebook, CLICK HERE 

Image via CrunchBase

LOTS OF FUN! Let’s follow each other on Twitter @HaBarb, CLICK HERE

Related articles

• Four Reasons Why Valentine’s Day Matters to Women
• Robert B. Barr: 8 Things Married Women Want For Valentine’s Day

• My Funny Valentine (barbsblast.wordpress.com)