Tag Archives: Valentine

Be My FUNNY Valentine, will ya?

6 Feb

 

Be my funny Valentine, will ya, pull-ease?

Remember… Women crave men who have a BIG… sense of humor.

Funny is sexy!

+++

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to demonstrate some self-love.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give yourself a hug. Indulge your senses. Treat yourself.

The pressure is on!  Satisfy yourself! […]

Be My Funny Valentine

7 Feb

 

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to demonstrate some self-love.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give yourself a hug. Indulge your senses. Treat yourself.

The pressure is on!  Satisfy yourself!

Need a quickie fun gift for YOU (okay… or a loved one) for Valentine’s Day?

How ’bout My Funny Valentine paperback or ebook?

BarbBestMyFunnyValentine

* Less calories than a box of luscious chocolate truffles.

* Funnier than fudge.

* Cheaper than French champagne.

* Stays fresh longer than a bunch of sagging, flaccid grocery store flowers.

* More invigorating than a hot oil massage.

* Perfect for regifting.

* Women love books, dude!

* So many entertaining writers are in it.

* Number #1 (self-love) reason – I’m in it!  “Hilarious bits by Barb Best”

* Amazon reviews are unanimous – My Funny Valentine is a lot of laughs!

“To learn to love, you must laugh.”

To laugh, you can buy this “treasure of a book” at  Amazon

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What Women Want

6 Feb

 

Guns aren’t nice, so here’s a poem in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                              WHAT THE HELL DO WOMEN WANT ANYWAY?

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

I’ll tell you!

 

 

 

 

 

Kill the black widow spider

 

 

Smash the horse fly

 

 

Wrestle that ’gator in yonder lake

 

 

Slice the venom-spitting snake.

 

 

 

 

 

Pulverize the prowler

 

 

In one Superman swoop,

 

 

No spurting blood

 

 

No cracking bones

 

 

Do it nice, don’t tell me how

 

 

No messes, but do it now.

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

I’ll tell you!

 

 

Purr like a kitten, tiger

 

 

Dance the Howdy Doody

 

 

Rock ‘n Roll me with violins,

 

 

Shower me with mortal sins.

 

 

 

 

 

Sail me love letters

 

 

In my alphabet soup

 

 

Stir it hard,

 

 

Use your imagination,

 

 

Be a prince, show some stately grace,

 

 

Valentine me with diamonds and lace.

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

Most of all?

 

 

At least try to enthrall,

 

 

A dozen red roses, pricks and all.

 

 

 

 

Available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

 

 

©2013, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

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LOTS OF FUN! Let’s follow each other on Twitter @HaBarb, CLICK HERE

 

 

 

 

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