Tag Archives: Twitter

Meditation for Morons

11 Oct

 

Hmk_Confections

Woo Hoo! Hallmark Cards will contact our lucky winner and mail her a jumbo stash of cool cards. Thank you everybody!

Antique Himalayan bowls (text taken from accom...

Antique Himalayan bowls (text taken from accompanying text at Singing bowl) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

MEDITATION NO-NO’s

1.  Do not chew gum even if it is all natural, organic, and sugar-free. […]

A Public Service Announcement*

16 Aug

IMG_1321

The following is a public service announcement*

#######

It happens.  You know you’ve had too much to drink if…

  1. You’re tweeting celebrities who have notorious anger management issues.
  2. You put your bra on backwards.
  3. You go on an online shopping spree, but don’t enjoy it.
  4. You click on the TV remote to answer your cell phone.
  5. You propose to the cat.
  6. You mistake the coat closet for the bathroom.
  7. You’re considering hiring a pain coach – for your family members.

* Not really.  Just kidding.

Happy Hour ain’t always so happy, but it can be funny.

Carrie Fisher in “Wishful Drinking” – Hilarious!  http://youtu.be/9JdRV3kEl1I

 

CLOWN sensitivity training-intended to sensitize people to their attitudes and behaviors that may unwittingly cause offense to others

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

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7 Emails I May Never Read

23 Jul

 

It’s dang hard to write a great comic novel, detox digitally, do a Chardonnay cleanse, or get a life when there’s so much intriguing stuff to read.

Photo Credit: Barb Best

Photo Credit: Barb Best

 

 

 

 

 

7 Emails I Really Must Get Around To Reading Sooner or Later… But NOT Right Now or Tomorrow… Okay, Maybe NEVER:

Actual SUBJECT HEADINGS sitting like festering couch potatoes in my email lunch box:

1 – The surprising history of the pencil (Brain Pickings) […]

OMG! My iPhone Died

5 Jun

 

OMG! My iPhone died.

I think I need a grief counselor.

– No battery power. No cord. No electrical outlet. No way to connect. […]

This is Your TV on Budget Cuts

23 Apr

spanx_powerpanty1

spanx_powerpanty1 (Photo credit: Vince_Lamb)

 

How is sequestration (THE budget cuts) affecting your favorite TV programs?

1 – THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS

#RHOBH is cutting the cast by one member. The vote is in. Adios Adrienne Maloof.

And take your Maloove Hooves with you!  Don’t let the limo door hit you on the way out.

2 – HOMELAND

Only enough chill meds for poor Carrie to take a magic pill every other day. Prescriptions are expensive even when you squeeze them from your sister the shrink. […]

Celebrity Weekend Funny 5

4 Jan

5 for the weekend!

Celebrities are a constant source of humor…

How Was Your Week? with JULIE KLAUSNER

What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Kim Kardashian Edition (Mad Magazine)

Suzy Soro’s new book Celebrity sTalker

$$$ Top Earning Dead Celebrities – Forbes Magazine

Oddly amusing: Celebrities on Twitter: Twitgrids.com

Paris Hilton

about 7 hours ago

Going to bed. Sweet dreams everyone. Good night

 

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

 

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Weekend Funny 5 on Twitter

12 Oct

On Twitter, check out:

Wendy Liebman

Wendy Liebman ‏ @WendyLiebman

Hi! I’m not verified so I’m not really sure that I’m me.

 

Steve Martin

 

Steve Martin@SteveMartinToGo

I am the actor, writer, comedian and banjo fiend. You can find out about my shows at SteveMartin.com.

Moving around. · http://www.stevemartin.com

 

Comedy writer, juggler (trainee), reader. Planner of Schemes, Builder of Dreams. I will brook no guff from chumps. http://www.DanBurt.com/

Alabama · http://www.CaptainCanard.com/

 

The Laughter Rx|Healing Humor 4 patients&caregivers|Nurses Month http://bit.ly/Ihigta | Current http://bit.ly/RgtDqU| Subscribe http://bit.ly/OMBIY9

Florence, OR · http://www.laughterrx.net

 

The Hot Flash Mob is a worldwide movement to raise awareness and change perceptions about peri-menopause and menopause.

· http://thehotflashmob.com

 

 

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BlogHer ’12

31 Jul

DO THE MATH!

4,000 bloggers, 3800 of them women, 3 days, 5 billion cups of coffee, 10 million chocolate chip cookies, 2500 pairs of Spanx, 6600 sore feet, 3500 PMS cravings, 7500 killer cramps, 1,200,000 clever business cards, hundreds of dozens of deals, a multitude of parties, enough swag to fill five aircraft carriers, enough estrogen and “you go girl” power to charge India’s electricity grid.

ANY advice?  Survival tips?

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The “F” Word & Bloggers

17 Jul

It’s summer, so here’s a rerun for you! Lots of opinions on this one. Comments always welcome!

The Scarlet Letter

 

Credit: theknot.com.au

Credit: theknot.com.au

In Scrabble, the letter “F” merits a respectable four points. There are only two “F” tiles in the game set, which makes the number of words you can form with the letter “F” relatively limited.

In the real world, the “F” word is everywhere.

In the evolution of the English language, when did “Oh, darn!” become  “Oh, Fu#!” What happened to “friggin?” When did “fudge” deteriorate into “Fu#!”?

When did “take the F train” become “take the ‘Fu#!-ing’ train?”

When did dropping the F-bomb so casually become the status quo?

“F” used to convey a meaning of failure.  A rude, red “F” on a spelling quiz or a math exam would elicit disappointment, or at the least – some extra homework.  Now, “F” means “Fantastic! Fabulous! Good effort! You’re gifted.“

Thank you, Adam Mansbach for your mega bestseller, “Go The F**k To Sleep.”

I’m writing a new book entitled “Stop hurling the “F” word every five seconds because you’re coarsening the language and culture. Plus it’s lazy and boring!”

At some point, talking like a truck driver became cooler than driving a truck.  But like carbon emissions, sulfur dioxide, and lead, “F” contributes to air pollution.

We expect a liberal use of the “F” word from sailors, soldiers, pimps, graffiti artists, New Jersey housewives, Vice Presidents, and F-list stand-up comics, but not from role models or mommy bloggers.

Overheard at the dinner table:

Ten year old daughter:  “Mommy uses the “F” word on her blog!”

Hubs (to Mom):  “You do?”

Mom:  “No, of course not. Well, sometimes, but -”

Daughter:  “You shouldn’t say ‘butt’ either.”

Mom:  “Sweetheart, I’m a writer. I have poetic license.”

Daughter:  “I saw the “F” word twice on your last post.”

Hubs:  “Great. I hope my parents don’t read your blog.”

Daughter:  “And she says it on Twitter ALL the time!”

Hubs:  “Geez…”

Mom:  “Well, you know, everyone else does it…”

Daughter:  “In CAPS. On Twitter. That’s like yelling it.”

Mom:  “It’s for dramatic effect.  I’m using the vernacular. Look it up, honey.”

Daughter:  “In the dictionary?”

Mom:  “Just Google it. V-E-R-”

Daughter:  “Never mind, Mommy. Fu#!” it!”

*****

What do you think?

Related articles

http://barbsblast.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/the-scarlet-letter/

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