Barb Best

We are always learning – perhaps not always remembering – but always learning.

I learned some interesting things this week that I will share with you.

I go through the pain so you don’t have to 🙂

•  It’s a bad sign when your husband keeps a jug of antifreeze and an eye dropper in the kitchen.  Hint: Get a food tester. (Forensic Files)

• When flying, your carry-on luggage should never weigh more than twice your body weight – unless you are on steroids.

• It can be very expensive to wait for a flight out of McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. Flashing slot machines are as enticing as the seductive aroma of Cinnabon.

[…]

Tina Fey‘s 5 year old daughter Alice says crazy funny things all the time. She’s constantly cracking Tina up. How cute!

Did I say… she’s five?

As daughters become older, they become increasingly brutal entertaining and wise – especially with their advice.

Tips From My Teen

•   Lose the Carol Brady haircut.
•   Nothing dates you more than saying “groovy.”
•   Don’t chat with the grocery store cashier like she’s a long lost BFF.
•   Don’t pay for HBO. Watch TV on your computer for free.
•   Chill.
•   Ordering hummus in a restaurant is wrong on many levels.
•   No matter how whimsical you feel, leave the glitter eye shadow to Disney Pop Stars.
•   Don’t respond to a text message right away – it looks desperate.
•   “The Beatles” is a lousy name for a band. Get over it.
•   Too much make-up on 5 year olds and 50 year olds is equally as scary.
•   Chill.
•   If you slept with JFK or Warren Beatty, I DON’T want to hear about it. I don’t even know who Warren Beatty is.
•   Baggy pants make you look like OMG you’re wearing a diaper.
•   Don’t panic if you can’t understand WTF your laptop is doing.
•   Study a texting dictionary (online) of acronyms so you understand the “newfangled” lingo.
•   Coddling the cat/dog like he’s a human child strikes many as needy.
•   Stop with the Viva Viagra jokes. It’s LOL pathetic.
•   Anyone seriously considering an eyebrow transplant is much older than they think they are.
•   Sudoku is no substitute for a real hobby like windsurfing or limbo skating.
•   Chill.

I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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Tina Fey‘s 5 year old daughter Alice says crazy funny things all the time. She’s constantly cracking Tina up. How cute!

Did I say… she’s five?

As daughters become older, they become increasingly brutal entertaining and wise – especially with their advice.

Tips From My Teen

•   Lose the Carol Brady haircut.
•   Nothing dates you more than saying “groovy.”
•   Don’t chat with the grocery store cashier like she’s a long lost BFF.
•   Don’t pay for HBO. Watch TV on your computer for free.
•   Chill.
•   Ordering hummus in a restaurant is wrong on many levels.
•   No matter how whimsical you feel, leave the glitter eye shadow to Disney Pop Stars.
•   Don’t respond to a text message right away – it looks desperate.
•   “The Beatles” is a lousy name for a band. Get over it.
•   Too much make-up on 5 year olds and 50 year olds is equally as scary.
•   Chill.
•   If you slept with JFK or Warren Beatty, I DON’T want to hear about it. I don’t even know who Warren Beatty is.
•   Baggy pants make you look like OMG you’re wearing a diaper.
•   Don’t panic if you can’t understand WTF your laptop is doing.
•   Study a texting dictionary (online) of acronyms so you understand the “newfangled” lingo.
•   Coddling the cat/dog like he’s a human child strikes many as needy.
•   Stop with the Viva Viagra jokes. It’s LOL pathetic.
•   Anyone seriously considering an eyebrow transplant is much older than they think they are.
•   Sudoku is no substitute for a real hobby like windsurfing or limbo skating.
•   Chill.

I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.