Tag Archives: Romance

Everything I Know About Sex… I Learned From My Cat

24 Oct

 

I was going to pontificate here upon how Justin Bieber is influenced by Nietzsche‘s views of women, but who cares?

EVERYTHING I Know About SEX & ROMANCE I Learned From My CAT…

 

Kenyon Cox, Nude study, 1896, Kenyon Cox was a...

Kenyon Cox, Nude study, 1896, Kenyon Cox was a strong advocate of figurative art. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Stake out your territory and stand firm.
  • A sense of mystery adds to your allure.
  • If it feels good, purr and vibrate.
  • Holding a loved one close and feeling his/her beating heart is romantic as long as your arm/leg/brain hasn’t gone numb.
  • Seafood is not a bad aphrodisiac. […]

What Women Want

6 Feb

 

Guns aren’t nice, so here’s a poem in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                              WHAT THE HELL DO WOMEN WANT ANYWAY?

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

I’ll tell you!

 

 

 

 

 

Kill the black widow spider

 

 

Smash the horse fly

 

 

Wrestle that ’gator in yonder lake

 

 

Slice the venom-spitting snake.

 

 

 

 

 

Pulverize the prowler

 

 

In one Superman swoop,

 

 

No spurting blood

 

 

No cracking bones

 

 

Do it nice, don’t tell me how

 

 

No messes, but do it now.

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

I’ll tell you!

 

 

Purr like a kitten, tiger

 

 

Dance the Howdy Doody

 

 

Rock ‘n Roll me with violins,

 

 

Shower me with mortal sins.

 

 

 

 

 

Sail me love letters

 

 

In my alphabet soup

 

 

Stir it hard,

 

 

Use your imagination,

 

 

Be a prince, show some stately grace,

 

 

Valentine me with diamonds and lace.

 

 

 

 

 

What do women want, dude?

 

 

Most of all?

 

 

At least try to enthrall,

 

 

A dozen red roses, pricks and all.

 

 

 

 

Available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

 

 

©2013, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

I LIKE YOU! LIKE ME on Facebook, CLICK HERE 

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

Image via CrunchBase

 

 

 


LOTS OF FUN! Let’s follow each other on Twitter @HaBarb, CLICK HERE

 

 

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta