1. It’s not good to eat foods you can’t pronounce. So avoid stuff like quinoa, shitakes, bok choy, and radicchio.
2. A banana makes a perfectly fine antacid. Peel first.
3. Doctors suggest you sniff rosemary to boost your memory and sharpen your test-taking skills. However, ask Rosemary first. “No” means “No Way, Jose!”
4. Garlic is the new black. Wear it liberally to boost your immunity, especially against communicable diseases.
5. Get a daily massage. It may not improve your health, but it sure feels great.
6. For severe digestive upsets, soak naked in zucchini hummus ’til you reek of body odor for a week. Works every time.
7. Duct tape works nicely to eliminate bulbous pimples and unsightly warts. Apply on eyes. Also effective for ear dandruff and nose eczema.