Tag Archives: Pets

Flying Coach: 7 Sobering Realities of Air Travel

1 Mar

Air travel

Flying coach.

No leg room.

Narrow seats.

Contagions in the air.

You know you love it.

Flying Coach Humor

 

Bring all of your baggage, that is…

except your anxiety, impatience and negativity.

Leave home without them.

###

7 New Realities of Flying

  • Surgical masks shall be worn at all times – their single purpose being to spook the hypochondriac sitting next to you.

 

  • Caution. Traveling with a pet under your seat in the cabin will not satisfy your need for in-flight entertainment. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Ear and nose plugs highly recommended.

 

  • No matter how cute, your emotional support miniature horse is not permitted to give pony rides to toddlers in the aisle. Nothing interferes with the important business of mile-high soft drink and pretzel delivery. Not even a viral video opportunity.

 

  • New FAA rule: All babies qualify as emotional support animals and shall fly for free.

 

  • While slogging through security, there will be no joking! Especially about da bomb you are hiding in your oddly heavy carry-on bag.

 

Flying Coach Travel Tips

 

  • If you are a gentleman of advanced age and your prostate is the size of a giant lemon, please pay for an aisle seat. It’s unseemly for us to interrupt our Netflix binging and get up every fifteen minutes so you can waddle to the restroom. No lemonade for you, sir.

 

  • I don’t know what your travel issue is, but the answer is most likely Benadryl.

 

Air travel is not for sissies. You may as well laugh.

 

 

 

Woof! Halloween Costumes Have Gone to the Dogs

19 Oct

Halloween Costumes and Dogs

Orange and black have invaded the retail world. Pumpkins, creepy decorations, and feed bags of over-priced candy block the aisles of every store – including the pet store. Orange is the new black, but dogs are the new orange.

Sniffing the $$$

According to MarketWatch, pet owners will spend nearly half a billion dollars on animal costumes this Halloween

Halloween Gone to the Dogs

Do dogs like dressing up? (I thought that was more of a gerbil thing.)

Animal behaviorists and dog cognition researchers suggest dogs aren’t crazy about dressing up, although they do appreciate the associated attention and treats from their owners. Imposing human garments on a canine likely stirs up pesky ancestral feelings.

Do you believe your special needs mongrel yearns to dress up as Albert Einstein or a bag of French Fries?

For God’s sake, a cocker spaniel is not comfortable wearing a petticoat and a sports bra!

https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/on-dressing-up-your-pets

Concerns

One worries… […]

Back to Work: 7 Distractions You Really Can’t Ignore

21 Sep

7 Distractions We Can’t Ignore!

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on work when this important stuff is on your mind…

Barb Best Humor Distractions

  • Prepping my porch for fall

 

  • Harvest decor… why?

 

  • Gurgling intestinal sounds, mine and others

 

  • My body double has fallen and she can’t get up

[…]

A Message From Your CAT

28 Mar

 

This is a message (heh, a threat you say?) from me, your imperious cat.

CATastrophe

Planning on leaving me (your cherished feline pet) at home while you go on a business trip or (how dare you) a fancy vacation is a provocation at best, and, at worst, an act of war.

Vacation? A Message from Your Cat

    Do I look pleased?

 

May I remind you… Actions have consequences!

My expectations are simple

[…]

Halloween Has Gone to the Dogs

18 Oct

 

Before the charcoal on the Labor Day barbecue grill cools, we are bombarded by… ARRGH!

HALLOWEEN

Orange and black invade the retail world. Pumpkins, creepy decorations, and feed bags of over-priced CANDY block the aisles of every store – including the pet store.

Which brings us to the burning question – who is your dog going “to be” for Halloween?

And when did dogs start wearing Halloween costumes anyway?

[…]

Going On Vacation? A Message From Your Cat

21 Aug

 

This is a message (heh, a threat you say?) from me, your imperious cat.

CATastrophe

Planning on leaving me (your cherished feline pet) at home while you go on a business trip or (how dare you) a fancy vacation is a provocation at best, and, at worst, an act of war.

 

Vacation? A Message from Your Cat

    Do I look pleased?

 

May I remind you… Actions have consequences! […]

Are You MONEY Rich? How To Tell!

31 Jul

 

Are you rich?

I’m talkin’  $$$ MONEY $$$ RICH $$$not health & love & family & all that real stuff.

Dough. Moola. Donero.

 

Are You Money Rich? Barb Best Humor Blog

Here’s how you can tell!

– For your birthday, you launch personal fireworks displays from your auxiliary yacht. […]

ALL Pets Are Emotional Support Animals

23 Jan

 

ALL pets are emotional support animals, don’t ya think?

Barb Best Humor

If I had an official “emotional support animal” – it would be an imaginary one like in the Jimmy Stewart film “Harvey.”

Or maybe a pink giraffe or a purple unicorn. Something distinctive. […]

Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder

2 Aug

 

 

Scribbled on an iPhone “Notes” APP near you…

 

  • If a stranger tells you, “I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy!” three times in the course of a ten minute conversation in a doctor’s waiting room… take them at their word.  Run for the hills.
  • Overheard at the veterinarian’s office: “Coyotes are cute. I want to hug them all.” Good luck with that…

[…]

7 Signs Your Dog and Your Cat are Gifted!

12 Jul

Yippee! It’s a summer rerun 😀

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet and social media. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” […]