Worry Warts: What to Kvetch About in 2020
5 Jan
What to Worry About in 2020
Do you worry?
Just in case you need some assistance in thinking up fresh new things to worry about…
I am at your service.
I overthink. I fret. I ruminate. Yes, I engage in tireless philosophical inquiry – so you don’t have to.
Here is my list for the new year.
Knock yourself out!
Enjoy!
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New Year, New Worries, Anxieties, and Fears
- Porch Pirates Beware, Matey – even if you don’t have a porch. BTW this is a shadow industry of Amazon Prime.
- Gluten-free everything
- World War III
- THE election
- Your friends are going all Marie Kondo on you. So much for “Shop ’til You Drop” trips to the Mall.
- Boomers are blowing their retirement savings on pot, hips, and knees
- Alien abductions caught on doorbell cams
- Wood-inspired flooring Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
- You don’t have the new iPhone and you never will.
- Neo-tribal tattooing
- Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos, and plant-based faux cheese burgers. Hold the fries. Better yet, hold your nose.
- You don’t own a single slice of Apple stock 🙁
Bonus * Insights for 2020
- The ink that is no longer being used to print books… now appears in the humongous tattoos on your neighbor’s humongous ass.
- Suggested names for the next Kardashian baby: “Kash” “Ka-Ching” “Kitschy”
- Again, who needs resolutions when you have worries?
