Tag Archives: Mom

Mother’s Day: What NOT To Give Your Mother

9 May

The Gift of Mother’s Day

Hurrah!

Another “holiday” full of hype, unrealistic expectations, and expense.

Plus loads of gifting pressure.

Because we all know that, whatever she says, gifts are Mom’s love language.

Here are a few tips to assist you in giving well, and perhaps, clinching favorite child status.

Mother's Day Gifts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What NOT To Give Your Mother

  • GRIEF – Don’t get arrested, crash your car, post a sex tape, or kill your brother (it’s her kid!). At least, not today.

[…]

Top 10 Funny Mom Flicks

21 Apr

Freaky Friday

Jamie Lee Curtis – she’s the mother, she’s the daughter, she’s the mother in the daughter’s body, she’s the daughter in the mother’s body?  Whatever!  Gosh, role reversal comedies are confusing!

She jams at The House of Blues with your garage band, tells your creepy English teacher to take a hike, hops on a Harley for a love ride with the dreamy boy you’re bonkers about and smooches him good – even if it is with her lips, not yours!

Mean Girls

Amy Poehler is alpha Plastic Regina George’s “cool mom” in Tina Fey’s screenplay.

What kind of mother flaunts her breast implants, talks trash with your gal friends and offers you an afternoon cocktail?

Hey, don’t judge – it keeps her feeling young!

Hairspray

As Edna Turnblad, John Travolta is so sweet he/she oozes Cool Whip from every plus-size pore.

Apparently it takes a man to play a woman who sews, irons and love’s her blimp size body just the way it is.

Not only is she fun to go bra shopping with, but (man) can she sing and dance like nobody’s business!


Serial Mom

Even though Beverly R. Sutphin is a homicidal maniac, she has some good points.

She recycles religiously.

She defends her screwy son at a parent teacher conference by running the poor teacher over in the school parking lot with the family station wagon.

Best of all, she makes hilarious obscene phone calls to uptight neighbor ladies.

                                                                                                       “Ouch! I tore something!”

Mamma Mia

In spite of those hideous overalls she sports, Donna has a great gig in a Greek paradise and gives a decent mani-pedi.

Sure, she “works all day, works all night” but somehow still finds time to party and perform with her fun gal pals in a retro singing group.

Isn’t my jacket a hoot?

This is My Life

Mom is so clever she wears a mean polka dot and does stand up comedy.

She’s usually off in L.A. working clubs and sleeping with her agent but she leaves you in a spacious Manhattan apartment with struggling comics (a stable bunch) as your babysitters. Bless her, she tells you to brush your teeth only when you feel like it.

 

Baby Mama

“Tina Fey is such a meanie.”

What other forty year old woman can wear pigtails and still look – dare I say – cute? Amy Poehler scores again.

                            I feel like singin’

The Brady Bunch – The Movie

What’s not to love about Shelly Long?

Her Carol Brady hairdo is the best thing since Woody Woodpecker’s carmine cowlick (eat your heart out Conan O’Brien.)

She’s so square, so sixties, so insipid – she’s sexy!

 

Got a sweet tooth?

Waitress

Pie anyone? Pregnant Keri Russell talks and writes to her baby and makes a dang tasty pie, a new one every day.

Pies with names like: Fallin’ In Love Chocolate Mousse Pie, Bad Baby Pie,

Kick In The Pants Pie, Marshmallow Mermaid Pie and Naughty Pumpkin Pie.

Juno

“Teenage pregnancy is no joke, but I’m like darn amusing.”

Last but not least, an odd choice you say!  Sure, Juno’s fifteen going on fifty-five, smokes a pipe, plays acoustic guitar poorly, chats on a hamburger phone and cracks wise and tacky like a smart ass comic – but you say that as if it’s a bad thing.

Why didn’t anybody tell her not to wear horizontal stripes when she’s eighty-five pounds pregnant?

At least she has enough horse sense to realize she doesn’t quite have the right stuff (yet) to be a mommy. Oh, well – there’s a really nice lady who needs a baby.

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