Tag Archives: Martha Stewart

Summer Fun? I Feel Your Summer Pain

18 Jul

 

Feelin’ your summer pain!

Barb Best I Feel Your Summer Pain

  • Trying to get in shape. Hmmm… Are your knees supposed to crack when you do squats?

 

  • Too much sun. Over exposed. Face it.

          Oh, well… Isn’t an age spot just a freckle that grew up? […]

Bugs Bunny’s Bookshelf: 7 Titles Found

23 May

 

Barb Best Humor Bugs Bunny Bookshelf

 What titles can be found on Bugs Bunny ‘s bookshelf?

  • Living Vegetarian For Dummies by Suzanne Havala Hobbs

  • Hollywood Be Thy Name, the 1999 biography of the Warner brothers
  • Confessions of a Professional Smart-Ass by John Kelso

[…]

Spring Cleaning for Slobs

20 Mar

English: Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Logo

English: Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

HAPPY SPRING!

IT MUST BE SPRING SOMEWHERE –

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS…

SPRING CLEANING FOR SLOBS!

UGH! I HATE CLEANING AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

BUT IT’S TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING WHEN…

1.   The icy dirt on your wood floors is starting to defrost.

2.   You can write a YA trilogy in the dust on your furniture. […]

7 Questions for Reflection

15 Nov

 

*This blog is gluten free and GMO free.

IMG_3940
“I like mine strong!”

Meditation teaches us that thoughts are merely like clouds passing in the sky… a few questions for reflection:

Why don’t I get a pet kangaroo?  Have I no sense of adventure whatsoever?

Would it be less stressful (aka healthier) spending the holidays in Cupcake Rehab or Workout Boot Camp than entertaining the cranky kids and in-laws for two weeks? […]

I Feel Your Back To School Pain

30 Aug

 

According to top Health and Wellness Coaches Debbie Schroeder and Lynn Smith in their report 10 ENERGY ZAPPERS and How To Eliminate Them,

“Watching TV can lead to fatigue. The rapid cuts and edits shift your orienting response into overdrive, which leads to fatigue.”  Phooey, I say!

What causes fatigue? Working a job in your kid’s classroom!

It’s elementary, my dear room mother

backtoschool

Dear Ms. Yokelclinger,

I’m happy as Planter’s Punch you are my kid’s teacher this year. I look forward to working like a dog breaking labor laws volunteering tirelessly in the classroom. After a seemingly endless summer keeping my kids entertained, hydrated, fed, culturally stimulated, lathered with sunscreen, and blooming like buttercups, I’m really thrilled to tears to be your complete and total slave parent helper.

Because I am deliriously dedicated to my child’s education, I will be on call 24-7 should you need anything. […]

Go Fly A Kite!

1 May

Malibu, Baby!

Malibu, Baby!

MAY DAY!   MAY DAY!

After a long winter and a chilly, slow start to spring…

(you may have noticed) it’s finally May.

The spring fever many of us felt in April was merely the flu.

So it’s time to squeeze in a celebration of spring before Memorial Day whacks us like a Wasabi wiener and folks (certainly not me) are complaining about how hot it is.

Is it hot in here or is it just me? […]

I Feel Your “Back To School” Pain

5 Sep

According to top Health and Wellness Coaches Debbie Schroeder and Lynn Smith in their report 10 ENERGY ZAPPERS and How To Eliminate Them,

“Watching TV can lead to fatigue. The rapid cuts and edits shift your orienting response into overdrive, which leads to fatigue.”  Phooey, I say!

What causes fatigue? Working a job in your kid’s classroom!

It’s elementary, my dear room mother

backtoschool

Dear Ms. Yokelclinger,

I’m happy as Planter’s Punch you are my kid’s teacher this year. I look forward to working like a dog breaking labor laws volunteering tirelessly in the classroom. After a seemingly endless summer keeping my kids entertained, hydrated, fed, culturally stimulated, lathered with sunscreen, and blooming like buttercups, I’m really thrilled to tears to be your complete and total slave parent helper.

Because I am deliriously dedicated to my child’s education, I will be on call 24-7 should you need anything. I love to stay up ’til 4:00 a.m. doing my own work so during the day I can organize your friggin’ field trip to the friggin’ moth museum, construct the goat cart for the Kwanzaa harvest, and cook 15 dozen gluten-free, apple crumb cupcakes for Earth Day.

How precious it is that you observe so fully every idiotic holiday known to mankind and that you do it via artsy fartsy crafting. Martha Stewart would be proud of your intent, but disapproving of the grossly inferior quality you inspire.

Because I’m not fully satisfied by the joy of supervising my kids’ tedious home work, running migraine-inducing carpools, making “healthy” lunches my kids won’t chuck in the nearest dumpster, snack preparation, clothing coordination, and insisting upon occasional baths… I give myself to you.

As your unpaid assistant, I will not expect any perks, nor will my child receive any special privileges like a pass on a particularly pesky pop quiz or those God-awful push-ups in gym class. I will not, for a moment, resent your generous benefits, union protections, plum pension, or the ultimate gift – the gift of time – yes, every summer off.

If for some reason you can’t reach me (say, around mid-November or early December), I’ll be in Rehab.

Warm Fuzzies,  Your Dutiful Room Parent

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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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Weekend Funny 5

10 Aug

As if Martha Stewart and Katie Couric were not entertaining enough at BlogHer ’12 in NYC…

5 new friends and 5 FUNNY blogs!

BlogHer “Voice of the Year” in HUMOR!  Congrats to SHARI at DUSTYEARTHMOTHER!

PAULINE at ASPIRINGMAMA

NICOLE at NINJAMOM blog

MISSY at MISSINDEEDY

JEN at PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT

Follow me on Twitter @HaBarb

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Martha Stewart On YouTube

7 Aug

Martha Stewart has a VERY entertaining and informative “The Official Martha Stewart YouTube Channel”  Check it out!

Martha on the pole, you asked for it.

 

Who needs the Olympics?

With Fred Armisen of SNL and Portlandia.

 

Comedienne Susie Essman.

With her friend Nora Ephron.

 

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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

 

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Weekend Funny 5

3 Aug

Watching THE Olympics?

Here’s the answer to the burning question:  “Why Do Olympians Wear that Colorful Tape?”  It’s not for decoration!   Article by Lauren Hansen on mentalfloss.com

Martha Stewart has a very entertaining and informative YouTube Channel, check it out!

With the wonderful Nora Ephron.

 

Comedienne Susie Essman.

 

Wow, the zumba, too?

 

You love him on Food Network…  Alton Brown is NOW food columnist on Mental Floss.com

 

Follow me on Twitter @HaBarb

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

 

 

 

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