Tag Archives: Lisa Scottoline

Reading the News Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

29 Jul

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

Reading News Is Hazardous

 

 

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

 

 

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]

Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

21 Jul

SUBJECT: Playing Hooky  Goofing Off  Planned Absences

TO:  Kyle Flicker

General Manager

Misery Productions

Los Angeles, CA

Dear Boss: Planned Absences

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Flicker,

I’d like to share with you a few bulls*!t excuses I’ve concocted for my impending absences from work.

  • My life coach insists I have a minimally invasive craniotomy done this Saturday. This is scheduled after my boozy, trans fat-laden brunch and before a round or two of miniature golf with the neighborhood children. Chances are I’ll be gaga on opioids for a few days. Trust me. You won’t want me anywhere near the company spreadsheets.

 

  • I’m celebrating “Cinnabon Day” and the Krispy Kreme “Buy a Dozen, Get a Dozen Free” promotion. This religious observance should take me several days to participate in and to recover from. If you’d like further documentation from my gastroenterologist or spiritual advisor, please let me know.

[…]

Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog by Lisa Scottoline

5 Jul

 

Listening to and LOVING this audiobook!

ICYMI – Lisa Scottoline and daughter Francesca Serritella at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop: