Tag Archives: Justin Bieber

Sorry Not Sorry! Cockamamie Sex Confessions

30 Nov

Sorry is the hardest word.

Cockamamie Confessions

Guilty of “inappropriate sexual behavior?”

It’s time for a pricey crisis public relations consultant, a criminal defense lawyer (preferably female) and perhaps, a cushy stint in rehab.

I’m Sorry

“Remember that time I tackled you on the fire escape during the office holiday party, grabbed you by the hair, dragged you back into the burning building (those damn candle decorations), and raped you on top of the microwave in the break room?”

“I have a different recollection of that incident than you do.”

 

So Sorry

[…]

Time: 7 Reasons I’m too Busy

11 Oct

 

Time. Where does it go?

There is never enough time.

 - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Violetta_Lipstick.jpg#/media/File:Violetta_Lipstick.jpg

“Violetta Lipstick” by Arienne McCracken – originally posted to Flickr as Violetta Lipstick. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

 

I’m too busy to come to your Halloween party because…

  • Been sweating the small stuff – it’s all small stuff – one pit stain at a time.

 

  • Been thinking deeply about the significance of decorative coastal hardware.

[…]

7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See

7 Oct

Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Do celebrities annoy you?

The narcissists who never cease to amaze us with their sheer lack of restraint?

Thanks to an avalanche of 24-7 celebrity “news”

we are bombarded with celebrity drama queens’ constant cry for attention.

They appear. They promote. They publicize.

They SELL, SELL, SELL!

7 CELEBRITY PRODUCTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE

[…]

Advice You Know You Want It

27 Feb

 

Who needs advice from Dear Abby or Oprah

when everyone has their two cents worth?

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk ...

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

WTH HERE’S MINE ūüėÄ

  • Don’t hire a life coach who doesn’t have a life – or at least a nice dog.
  • Never go to the grocery store at noon on a Monday – it’s such a good time for a lemon cleanse anyway – not.
  • If you insist upon racing snowboards or motorcycles – make sure you have health insurance and someone to drive you to your doctor’s appointments for five months.
  • If you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen – don’t cook. Order take-out.
  • Remember – menopause passes, but male mid-life crisis is forever. […]

What I Learned In 2013

26 Dec

Life is a teaching moment. Or a learning moment. Whatever. I feel your pain.

Here’s what I learned in 2013:

IMG_1414BBestCredit

  • Do NOT purchase a dining table on the internet. Not unless you and the family enjoy the novelty of Thanksgiving Dinner picnic-style on the living room floor with the pets.
  • “Try yoga. I hear that helps!” is the new “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” […]

Merry Christmas Baby!

20 Dec

 

Wishing YOU a Merry Christmas! And a week full of light and laughter!

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The best part is the anticipation, don’t you think? […]

Everything I Know About Sex… I Learned From My Cat

24 Oct

 

I was going to pontificate here upon how Justin Bieber is influenced by Nietzsche‘s views of women, but who cares?

EVERYTHING I Know About SEX & ROMANCE I Learned From My CAT…

 

Kenyon Cox, Nude study, 1896, Kenyon Cox was a...

Kenyon Cox, Nude study, 1896, Kenyon Cox was a strong advocate of figurative art. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Stake out your territory and stand firm.
  • A sense of mystery adds to your allure.
  • If it feels good, purr and vibrate.
  • Holding a loved one close and feeling his/her beating heart is romantic as long as your arm/leg/brain hasn’t gone numb.
  • Seafood is not a bad aphrodisiac. […]

Funny Videos

26 Jun

 

“JUNE GLOOM” is still here.¬† I dare you not to laugh at these 3 videos!

 

You’ll LOVE filmmaker Anne Flourney – The Louise Log!

http://thelouiselog.com/ […]