Tag Archives: John Mulaney

Cat Interview: Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

2 Dec

Cat Interview: Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

Pussycat, Pussycat, I love you

Yes I do.

 

Cat Interview Pussycat Humor

 

* EXCLUSIVE *  Interview with My Cat

 

LOWLY HUMAN:  So, Cleo baby, what’s up Pussycat? Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!

CLEO:  Geez, I hate that song.  Stop with the “P-word!” Calling your divine Goddess the “P-word” – slang for female genitalia for God’s sake – is so uncouth.

LOWLY HUMAN:  You’ve got a point. We don’t call the dog “Dickie” – even though his name is Richard.

CLEO:  The ancient Egyptians were right. I am a Godly entity. I must be worshipped.

LOWLY HUMAN:  We’re not in Cairo anymore. “YouTube Video Star” is the greatest height you can achieve now.

CLEO:  You should be dressing me in gold and serving me Beluga caviar on your Lenox china.

LOWLY HUMAN:  I thought you liked Purina on paper plates.

CLEO:   Surely you jest.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Seen any cool birds in the backyard lately from your window perch on the sofa hump?

CLEO:  You call that a great view for a Goddess?  I think I need Lasik surgery.

 

Cat Interview Egypt cat Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goddess

 

LOWLY HUMAN:  BTW Thanks for not biting the heads off of lizards and disemboweling mice, then gifting me your trophy roadkill.

CLEO:  Thanks for not letting me out of the house for ten years. I think I have Stockholm syndrome.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Blame the vet for that edict. Oh, fierce protector of the family, it’s dog-eat-cat out there.

CLEO:  Remember. I may be morbidly obese, but I can still jump on your head and scratch your brains out.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Ouch. A pooch would never express such a sentiment.

Cat Interview Humor Pussycat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DOGS

 

CLEO:  Dogs are a dime a dozen. Lucy, Lucky, Skippy, Max.

(coughing)

I’m going to gag if I hear another dog called “Lucy.”  (cough cough)   Makes me wanna hack a hairball.

LOWLY HUMAN: Don’t be cranky, fab feline. I have fresh catnip and your favorite stick toy with the rainbow tassel.

CLEO:  Catnip?  The fresh stuff this time?  MEOW!

LOWLY HUMAN:  And maybe Santa Claws will bring you some peacock feathers.

CLEO:  Peacock feathers?!  The ones with the weird eyes?  MEOW!

LOWLY HUMAN:  When you’re in the mood, come sit on my lap or on my open laptop.

CLEO:  I’ll consider it… Rub my neck first.  And scratch under my chin. And kiss my whiskers.

MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.

 

Pussycat, Pussycat, I love you,

Yes I do!

 

 

Lyrics unlike Stephen Sondheim lyrics

Going On Vacation? A Message From Your Cat