Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020
3 Jan
Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020
While contemplating goals and intentions for the new year 2021 (yawn),
I asked pals, “What have I and/or you accomplished in 2020?”
Prolific artistic output? A thick, juicy novel ripe with creative breakthroughs?
A slew of wonderful new paintings — like 83 year old David Hockney?
After a totally non-scientific study and truly shallow analysis…
Ta Da!
The Results! Winning!
Our Dubious Achievements of 2020
- I started and cultivated a new hobby – an enviable collection of stylish and uncomfortable face masks and – who knew – a fashion accessory fetish.
- Gained 5 (or so, but who’s counting?) pounds
- Learned to bake a killer sourdough bread. I hate sourdough bread. It’s sour!
- Subscribed to Netflix, Dash, Hello Fresh, Uber Eats and YouTube Premium.
- Burned out a toaster oven and a knee.
- Reached Level 555 on Words With Friends. Woo Hoo!
- Watched 5,725 hours of Netflix TV shows – and remember nothing.
- Spent quality nap time with housebound, emotionally needy feline.
- Cancelled Netflix.
- Took MasterClasses in French Pastry Fundamentals + Wine Appreciation (See #2 Gained weight)
- Developed a sleep disorder. Ironic being that I had so much more time for sleeping.
- Sprouted some hopping mad hemorrhoids. Misery loves company, and so does sitting all day. TMI BFF!
- Grew a mangy beard, got fleas from the dog, lost my girlfriend, took up smoking. Ouch.
- Improved interspecies communications with personal feline. Blink, blink, blink, bat eyelashes, smile sheepishly.
- Taught myself to play the electric guitar like Hendrix and Van Halen – sort of (thank you YouTube)
- Engaged in squabbles and high-minded food fights with friends on Facebook. But were they ever really “friends?”
- Ruminated endlessly upon philosophical conundrums such as “If laughter is medicine, can’t I be allergic to it? Or overdose?”
- Stayed alive. Did not die laughing. Whew! Success!
2021: WINNING!
Redefining success in 2021 – Happy & Healthy New Year!
