In a bold display of independence, we (not our helicopter parents) are announcing our intention to marry partner and hold a wedding presentation to display our love (and like) for each other.
Where are we registered, you ask?
Why, thank you for inquiring!
We don’t believe in registering for a wedding presentation as we just aren’t into “things.” Like many Millennials, we subscribe to minimalism.
This is mostly because we lack the funds to buy cool stuff (thank you pathetic economy) but also because our heads explode when we see Granny’s living room and her floor-to-ceiling tchotchke collection.
We personally believe that everyone over the age of 40 is a hoarder and in need of a therapeutic intervention.
And so, instead of a cumbersome kitchen appliance or a random piece of cheesy art, perhaps you could buy us a generous gift certificate to Starbucks… that, or a house. We could use a house! (Is that a “thing?”) To be honest, we’re getting tired of living in our parents’ basements. We are incurring hearing damage due to the incessant hovering. […]
In the spirit of LESS materialism… Thank you, but please DON’T buy me the following:
*A sexySanta gift… especially if I’ve been naughty. What’s with the “We wish you a slutty Xmas!” sentiment? Watch out – Frosty the Snowman is so hot and bothered, he may melt.
*An e-card with a slide share of cutesy farm animals singing Christmas carols. Stay out of my inbox! It’s messy enough in there. […]
What do you get a two year old who already has a puppy or a kitten?
Yes, a giraffe! “The perfect accessory in a nursery, this eye-catching giraffe is a great addition to any decor!” Hope you have a ladder handy. Wonder how much bamboo and rat guts “Spotty” eats for breakfast every day?
