Tag Archives: food

Binge on Holiday Food: Death by Fruitcake

7 Dec

Holiday Food Binge: Death by Fruitcake

Want to die doing what you love? Eating!

How about binging on the irresistible holiday treats that are ubiquitous this time of year?

Four out of five sugar addicts agree – holiday food is the best way to go.

Death by fruitcake humor blog

 

Fruitcake Binge

Like ukulele music, you either love fruitcake or you hate it.

There are at least two ways to die via fruitcake. […]

Stressed? 5 Reasons YOU Are Stressed Out

14 Oct

You are stressed out. You are worried. You are miserable.

You are not alone ūüėÄ

Barring a terrorist attack, cataclysmic global economic collapse, or tainted Halloween candy, October is usually a fairly innocuous month.

But not this October.

 

Stressed?

Squeeze!

Reason #1. Did you notice? UGH. It’s an election year.

[…]

Bellyache: Guess Who Came To Dinner

13 May

 

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

 

Uninvited: Guess Who Came To Dinner

 

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

[…]

Cheese Is Addictive – Who Knew?

24 Oct

 

Cheese – soft, semi-soft, firm, hard – is the black sheep of the food pyramid.

Admittedly, I never met a brie, blue, or Asiago I didn’t adore.

From The L.A. Times by Jenn Harris “Cheese Really Is Crack – Study Reveals Cheese Is As Addictive As Drugs”

Blame it on opiates, dopamine receptors, and our lust for pizza. […]

Dear FOOD NETWORK

25 Apr

 

Dear Food Network
Dear Food Network,
Thank you for teaching my kids how to cook fancy schmancy.

The vast culinary knowledge they have acquired lounging in front of the TV and laptop (love your website) has raised the chow bar to quite a sophisticated level.

Unfortunately, they leave 99% of the actual cooking to moi.

 

Dear Food Network

Cook Like A Star!

 

I can no longer pawn turkey hot dogs, tuna sandwiches, or cans of noodle soup off as a meal. […]

While You Were NOT Sleeping

8 Jun

 

“I’ll sleep when I die!” – Lady Gaga

I am proud to announce…

I have made a significant discovery which will advance science and help humankind.

TA DA! […]

7 Questions for Reflection

15 Nov

 

*This blog is gluten free and GMO free.

IMG_3940
“I like mine strong!”

Meditation teaches us that thoughts are merely like clouds passing in the sky… a few questions for reflection:

Why don’t I get a pet kangaroo?¬† Have I no sense of adventure whatsoever?

Would it be less stressful (aka healthier) spending the holidays in Cupcake Rehab or Workout Boot Camp than entertaining the cranky kids and in-laws for two weeks? […]

Oh Health: A Pop Quiz

28 May

TRUE or FALSE:

 

1. It’s not good to eat foods you can’t pronounce. So avoid stuff like shitakes, bok choy, radicchio, and quinoa. Especially quinoa.

 

2. A banana makes a perfectly fine antacid.  Peel first.  Feel free to add ice cream, chopped nuts, and a cherry on top.

 

3. Doctors suggest you sniff rosemary to boost your memory and sharpen your test-taking skills. However, ask Rosemary first. “No” means “No!” […]

Weekend Funny 5 Finger Clickin’ Good

7 Dec

 

The weekend is a wonderful time to indulge in books, food, movies, Facebook, and… ?

 

Funny Writers       http://humorwriters.org/

Funny Food       http://www.funnyfood.us/

13 Favorite Food Flicks       http://www.thefrisky.com/photos/13-of-our-favorite-food-flicks/food-flicks-willy-wonka/

Facebook Funny Pic        http://on.fb.me/THKHH1

Tracy Flick        http://youtu.be/XaQvqhtCYW0

 

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Weekend Funny 5

25 May

TGIF

 

Every Friday I feature 5 LINKS to LAUGHTER. Enjoy!

 

How to Bake a Chicken Without Flippin’ the Bird Lisa Tognola

Another food mystery solved at Mental Floss

The Hilarious Rachael Ray  Food Network Humor

How To Tattoo A Banana  Admit it, bananas are funny.

 

Oprah Show Funniest Moments