Tag Archives: flu

Washing Your Hands All Day? 7 Ways to Break the Boredom

14 Mar

Washing Your Hands All Day? 7 Ways to Break the Boredom

Hand washing or hand wringing

2 minutes x 30 times = 1 Hour a Day

Are you sick of standing at the sink scrubbing your hands for two minutes at a clip?

Do surgeons envy your disinfecting skills?

Is all this cleaning becoming a tad tedious?

Has the whole world gone OCD?

“Better safe than sorry!”

Barb Best Humor

Hand Washing – 7 Ways to Have More Fun

  • Recite the Greek alphabet – backwards

 

  • While soaping up, video yourself naked and post to YouTube

 

  • Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong – or scream

 

  • Count the number of toilet paper rolls and Purell squeeze bottles you have hoarded in the last week

 

  • Meditate, chew gum, blow bubbles, hum

 

  • Cry over all of the awesome sports events and concerts you’ll miss in the next month

 

  • Do squats, lunges and buttock-lifting exercises while washing – oh, what fun!

~ Stay Healthy ~ 

5 Flu Prevention Tips for Hypochondriacs & Moms

Millennials: 7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

18 Jan

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

 

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

  • You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

  • You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

  • You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]

LUCKY is Relative: Why YOU are Having a Good Week!

29 Jan

LUCKY?

YOU?

Yup.

Here’s why you are lucky this week:

 

* You haven’t been sucked into an MRI machine.

LUCKY

 

Man Dies After Being Sucked Into An MRI Machine via @IFLScience:

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-dies-after-being-sucked-into-an-mri-machine  […]

Hello: Eleven Reasons Why

17 Feb

Hello

So much email, so many phone calls, too many texts… too little time.

 

BarbBestHumor

 

So Why Haven’t I Returned Your Emails, Calls, and Texts in 5 Weeks?

Hello! It’s challenging to muster the same sense of urgency to email, call, text responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching The Tennis Channel.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails, calls, texts either 🙂 […]

Stupid V Question Answered

18 Jan

 

BTW I feel your flu and fever pain.

BarbBestSmileClose-Up

Inspired by Naomi Wolf‘s controversial book, Vagina: A New Biography

this was a real question from HARO (Help A Reporter Out):

“Do You Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Vagina?” (Frugivore)

My response:

Why, thank you for asking! This is a question dear to my heart, my “IN-ny” belly button, and my G Spot.

Oh yes, my vagina and I enjoy many lovely times together. We walk on the beach, we contemplate beautiful sunsets, we share moonlit dinners on the Palazzo. My goodness, we even shower together on a regular basis. Wink, wink.

We rarely have cross words, however once a month things get a little touchy, if not downright brutal. You know what I mean.

But most of the time, my vagina has a terrific sense of humor. Why when I’m down, she makes me laugh.  She lifts me up.

Geez, the most awe-inspiring time we had was when we gave birth together! Wow! Hard to top that.

Maybe my vagina will write a memoir some day.  She’s actually quite gifted.  The title can be: Vaginas Just Wanna Have Fun.

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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

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New Year HA-Musings

16 Jan

 

How is 2013 going for you?

Credit: IJDR

Credit: IJDR

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I sincerely hope you haven’t slipped and cut your knee on a New Year’s Day “fitness” hike, come down with the flu, succumbed to a stubborn vocal cord infection and laryngitis, had a collision with a parking garage pole, received a swollen lip from the car door, broken an expensive glass vase in a gift store, and agreed to go to the movie Zero Dark Thirty on your wedding anniversary.)

If so (or worse!)… I feel your pain.

Speaking of pain, here are some Robitussin-induced musings: […]

5 Flu Prevention Tips for Hypochondriacs & Moms

9 Oct

Are you a Worry Wart? A Grade A Hypochondriac? Or just a Mom Who Cares?

Afraid of getting the flu this year? Of course you are!

I feel your pain.

5 Flu Prevention Tips JUST for YOU!

 

  • Don’t shake hands with anyone. Pretend you’re Japanese and bow humbly from a distance.
  • Don’t touch elevator buttons, escalator handles, stair railings, or any of your kid’s clothing (especially shirt sleeves as they are SO often used as Kleenex) WITH YOUR HANDS. This will require you to be creative AND limber.
  • Bubble wrap your toddler on play dates. Also limits collateral damage of all sorts. Parents will love you.
  • If you even begin to feel slightly sick at work or at school, think Ferris Bueller. Better safe than sorry.
  • Avoid flying, especially in coach. Upgrade to First Class where you can minimize contact with scads of runny-nosed peeps – plus the free booze they give you will kill all kinds of nasty germs.

    This may prove to be a tad expensive – 3 or 4 times the coach fare. And that, my friends,  is nothing to sneeze at.

BarbBestHumor

 WTF?    $1239?  I’ll use a different credit card – Warren Buffet’s.

Do you have any flu prevention tips? Sharing is caring.

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