Tag Archives: diets

Happy Holidays: Eating Tips To Ignore

25 Nov

 

The holidays are upon us… actually, they are in our face.

Holiday Advice Food Humor

There is a ton of advice out there on how not to overeat on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, and every other holiday you can imagine.

Tips like, “NO seconds,” “Drink ONLY water,” “During your meal, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and guilt yourself about how many calories you’re taking in,” “Fill up on celery and radishes – stay away from the dip,” and “Do planks and push-ups between courses.”

Pull-ease! Gratification is the whole point.

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Advice You Know You Want It

27 Feb

 

Who needs advice from Dear Abby or Oprah

when everyone has their two cents worth?

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk ...

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

WTH HERE’S MINE ūüėÄ

  • Don’t hire a life coach who doesn’t have a life – or at least a nice dog.
  • Never go to the grocery store at noon on a Monday – it’s such a good time for a lemon cleanse anyway – not.
  • If you insist upon racing snowboards or motorcycles – make sure you have health insurance and someone to drive you to your doctor’s appointments for five months.
  • If you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen – don’t cook. Order take-out.
  • Remember – menopause passes, but male mid-life crisis is forever. […]