Tag Archives: Chocolate

If It’s January, Those Must Be Vitamins You’re Popping

11 Jan

VitaminaniaBarbBest

It’s January.  You are especially mindful of your health. You are exercising. You are resisting being seduced by the Valentine’s Day chocolate that is (don’t look!) everywhere.

And like a good little soldier, you are taking your multivitamins and supplements.

Hmm. What do you think of the name of this multivitamin for boomer women 50+?

Barb Best Humor

“Alive!”  Not setting the bar too high there, are we?

Guess the one for women 60+ is called “Barely Alive!” […]

Affirmations for the Miserable

19 Jun

Happy

Happy

 

Affirmations should not be just for the lucky lighthearted souls among us or for those busy bees tediously aspiring to be oh, so merry.

How about some AFFIRMATIONS for the rest of us?

OM…

  • My joints ache with every new sunrise.    OM…
  • I nourish my inner curmudgeon.    OM…
  • I am one with trash TV.    OM…
  • The dog does not think highly of me. I languish in his disappointment.   OM…
  • Chocolate is my only friend.    OM… […]

Weekend Funny 5 Urgent Emails To Spoil Your Weekend

21 Sep

Friends often wish you “Have a wonderful weekend.”

5 urgent emails to spoil your weekend:

  • Your Credit Card Balance Has Reached Set Threshold Alert
  • Elaborate wedding plans in disarray due to unplanned pregnancy
  • Granny had a bear encounter
  • Granny had a bare encounter
  • Chocolate Recall due to salmonella scare

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

Enhanced by Zemanta

Weight Watchers Ice Cream

22 May

I’m in love. Or is it merely lust?

Oh, Yes!

Great photo on the box cover. Isn’t subliminal advertising subtle?

Nonetheless, Madison Avenue knows I  scream, you scream, we all holler like crazy for it!  Yes. Low calorie ice cream.

One of these highly satisfying, heavenly treats is only 80 calories, can you believe it?

Why have one dark chocolate raspberry ice cream bar when you can have two?

Two bars… 2 x 80 = 160 calories. Not too bad…

 

But, no!  The box says 1 bar = 80 calories and 2 bars = 170 calories.

Do the math, dudes at Weight Watchers. What’s with the extra 10 calories when I down two bars? Does that mean if I savor four bars (hmmm, not that I would) is it an extra 20 calories? Or is it like the Richter scale, increasing exponentially?

Is the extra 10 calories some kind of diet penalty?

I have contacted the generous and marketing savvy people at Weight Watchers regarding this error. I’m hoping they will reward me with Weight Watchers ice cream ’til death or ’til I gain 25 pounds – whichever comes first.

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sweet Talk

12 Feb

Gotta love romance in advertising.  Sweet talk seduces us.

This sharp little Mini Cooper S Convertible is officially Champagne colored.

Sweet TalkTopless!

However accurate they may be, the words “Beige,” “Fungus,” and “Urine” don’t seem to have the same attraction as “Champagne.”

I hope the paint doesn’t have a lot of bubbles in it.

I’ll bet it’s really easy to get a DUI in this  car.

Cruising topless in your champagne colored car = joy ride.

“Passion” perfume.

Credit: Californiaperfumes.com

Names like “Bonking,” “Boffing,” or “Horny” don’t hold the same power or charm as “Passion,” do they?

“Kiss.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Obviously, “Kiss” says it better than “peck,” “canoodle,” or “buss.”

Wikimedia CommonsHershey

Hershey “Pecks?” “Smooches?” “Osculations?” No thank you.

Paris Hilton “Tease.”

Credit: Cupidspulse.com

“Tease” says it better than “Shallow,” “Ditzy,” or “Silly Billy.”  Smells like… money!

“My Funny Valentine” available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

©2012, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

Direct questions regarding permissions: barbsblast@gmail.com

Be a fan of “Barb’s Blast Humor Blog” on Facebook, CLICK HERE
Follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta