Tag Archives: cats

Cat Interview: Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

2 Dec

Cat Interview: Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

Whoa, Whoa! What’s New Pussycat?

Pussycat, Pussycat, I love you

Yes I do.

 

Cat Interview Pussycat Humor

 

* EXCLUSIVE *  Interview with My Cat

 

LOWLY HUMAN:  So, Cleo baby, what’s up Pussycat? Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!

CLEO:  Geez, I hate that song.  Stop with the “P-word!” Calling your divine Goddess the “P-word” – slang for female genitalia for God’s sake – is so uncouth.

LOWLY HUMAN:  You’ve got a point. We don’t call the dog “Dickie” – even though his name is Richard.

CLEO:  The ancient Egyptians were right. I am a Godly entity. I must be worshipped.

LOWLY HUMAN:  We’re not in Cairo anymore. “YouTube Video Star” is the greatest height you can achieve now.

CLEO:  You should be dressing me in gold and serving me Beluga caviar on your Lenox china.

LOWLY HUMAN:  I thought you liked Purina on paper plates.

CLEO:   Surely you jest.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Seen any cool birds in the backyard lately from your window perch on the sofa hump?

CLEO:  You call that a great view for a Goddess?  I think I need Lasik surgery.

 

Cat Interview Egypt cat Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goddess

 

LOWLY HUMAN:  BTW Thanks for not biting the heads off of lizards and disemboweling mice, then gifting me your trophy roadkill.

CLEO:  Thanks for not letting me out of the house for ten years. I think I have Stockholm syndrome.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Blame the vet for that edict. Oh, fierce protector of the family, it’s dog-eat-cat out there.

CLEO:  Remember. I may be morbidly obese, but I can still jump on your head and scratch your brains out.

LOWLY HUMAN:  Ouch. A pooch would never express such a sentiment.

Cat Interview Humor Pussycat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DOGS

 

CLEO:  Dogs are a dime a dozen. Lucy, Lucky, Skippy, Max.

(coughing)

I’m going to gag if I hear another dog called “Lucy.”  (cough cough)   Makes me wanna hack a hairball.

LOWLY HUMAN: Don’t be cranky, fab feline. I have fresh catnip and your favorite stick toy with the rainbow tassel.

CLEO:  Catnip?  The fresh stuff this time?  MEOW!

LOWLY HUMAN:  And maybe Santa Claws will bring you some peacock feathers.

CLEO:  Peacock feathers?!  The ones with the weird eyes?  MEOW!

LOWLY HUMAN:  When you’re in the mood, come sit on my lap or on my open laptop.

CLEO:  I’ll consider it… Rub my neck first.  And scratch under my chin. And kiss my whiskers.

MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.

 

Pussycat, Pussycat, I love you,

Yes I do!

 

 

Lyrics unlike Stephen Sondheim lyrics

Going On Vacation? A Message From Your Cat

Bored at Home? Fresh Ideas to Banish Boredom

2 Oct

Banish boredom at home

Are People Dying of Boredom?

Due to Covid, we are (duh) spending a helluva lot more time at home.

Surprise! Many people tell me they are dying of boredom.

To put it bluntly, they are in a rut.

 

Banish boredom at home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cambridge Dictionary

World-Weary

Someone who is world-weary is not enthusiastic about anything, often because they have had too much experience of a particular way of life.

 

Boredom is Dumb

What am I doing to pass the time? To keep intellectually stimulated, emotionally engaged and (more or less) awake?

Oh, and not bored.

A few examples:

 

  • Installing a wine window in my home office. Salut!

 

  • Experimenting with at-home mole removal. Ouch.

 

  • Teaching my pet duck to straighten up and fly right. What can I say, he has issues.

 

  • Tweaking that decadent rum cinnamon pecan caramel bun recipe. Practice makes perfect.

 

Bored at Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Woo hoo! Going craft crazy. Etsy beware! Don’t miss my elegant skeleton nipple jewelry and my one-of-a-kind pumpkin glitter art decoupage. Busy hands are happy hands.

 

  • Giving Fitbit a run (actually a walk) for its money. Come all, join the Fitbit cult of Stepford spouses. Ho hum Step, Ho Hum Step, Ho Hum Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz…

 

  • Toilet training the cat. So what if he’s nine years old? It’s never too late to embrace baseless optimism.

 

Banish boredom at home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Can’t be Bored While Laughing

 

 

 

World Weary

 

 

Dedicated to the Year 2020

 

Home Stuck Home? 7 Really FUN Things to Do Really!

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

15 Apr

Rx Comedy Barb Best

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

Comedy Tonight Barb Best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comedy. Laughter. Humor.

Take as often as needed.

No costly doctor’s appointment – in the flesh or virtual – required.

No adverse side effects – not even the usual ones – nausea, headache, constipation, diarrhea, kleptomania, heart attack, tennis elbow, diarrhea, flat foot, droopy eye, dandruff, diarrhea and death.

And – best of all – you can’t overdose on laughter.

Great List ~ Best Comedies to Stream on Netflix ~ Mental Floss

If your time or attention span is short, just watch the trailers for some laughs.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/622691/best-comedies-to-stream-on-netflix

 

Comedy Tonight Barb Best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Classic Cat Mental Health Video

This video is especially funny during these days of isolation and existential angst.

You know you want to laugh.

 

 

“Comedy Tonight ” with Jason Alexander

 

 

A funny thing happened on the way to the pandemic. We maintained our sense of humor 😀

Humor links

https://www.barbbest.com/links/

 

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

Smiles To Go! The World Needs A Smile

Please support The Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor  and The Humor Academy 

 

Amuse the News: Give Me Funny not Infuriating!

2 Oct

Not all news is a nightmare designed to give you an ulcer.

Read all about it!

Amuse the News

If you boycott current events for merely a day,

you will miss amazing, funny stories like these special ones I have curated

just for you. 🙂

 

News to Amuse Cheese Funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say Cheese

New York Post

Shrewd 9-year-old fills lip balm tube with cheese to eat in class 

With stories like this, I am no longer worried about today’s youth.

Kid is clever. So what if the teacher is lactose intolerant?

I would plead “I have legal rights! This is my therapy cheese.”

Lesson learned. Don’t leave home without your cheese.

*** […]

Work & Retirement: All You Really Need to Know

14 Sep

Retirement for workaholics?

It happens!

Sort of.

Work Retirement Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When a Type-A workaholic retires from his or her long standing employment,

 

No matter the age,

 

New life skills must be learned… especially when one is married.

[…]

Neighbors to Love: 7 Posts from Next Door

19 Jul

Love Thy Neighbors

Like family, we don’t choose them.

Neighbors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A wonderful neighbor is a blessing and a friend.

A crazy neighbor is a curse from hell.

nosy neighbors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[…]

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

21 Sep

Are you a worry wart?

What I'm NOT Worried About Now

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

 

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

  • Ebola growing in my Brita filter

 

  • Pumpkin spice is back with a vengeance.

[…]

Lizards Mating: 7 Questions To Ask Yourself

22 Jun

Lizards

Eidechse (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Leaping Lizards! Yuck!

There is a lighter side to lizards… just watch them mate sometime.

7 Questions To Ask Yourself While Watching Lizards Mate

  • Isn’t nature amazing?

 

  • What – no foreplay?

[…]

Nuts and Dogs and Cats

26 May

Wondering. Does this warning include…

 

Barb Best Humor Nut Allergy

 

Nutjobs?

If only.

Alert the powers that be! Peanut warnings should include “nutjobs.”

Weekend Fun

Over 22 million people have seen this funny dog cat video. Why not you?

 

 

See you on Twitter. I’m @Habarb

Want a fun read? Check out The Misery Manifesto: A Self-Help Parody

A Message From Your CAT

28 Mar

 

This is a message (heh, a threat you say?) from me, your imperious cat.

CATastrophe

Planning on leaving me (your cherished feline pet) at home while you go on a business trip or (how dare you) a fancy vacation is a provocation at best, and, at worst, an act of war.

Vacation? A Message from Your Cat

    Do I look pleased?

 

May I remind you… Actions have consequences!

My expectations are simple

[…]