Barb Best

Aging?

You don’t feel old, but do you act old?

You’re as old as you act.

If the Joke Fits – Laugh!

• Do you really need a park bench to sit on when taking a shower?

[…]

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

• You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

• You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

• You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]

What to Worry About in 2020

*******************

New Year, New Worries, Anxieties, and Fears

• Porch Pirates  Beware, Matey – even if you don’t have a porch. BTW this is a shadow industry of Amazon Prime.
• Gluten-free everything
• World War III
• THE election
• Your friends are going all Marie Kondo on you.  So much for “Shop ’til You Drop” trips to the Mall.
• Boomers are blowing their retirement savings on pot, hips, and knees
• Alien abductions caught on doorbell cams
• Wood-inspired flooring   Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
• You don’t have the new iPhone and you never will.
• Neo-tribal tattooing
• Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos,  and plant-based faux cheese burgers.  Hold the fries.  Better yet, hold your nose.
• You don’t own a single slice of Apple stock  🙁

Bonus * Insights for 2020

• The ink that is no longer being used to print books… now appears in the humongous tattoos on your neighbor’s humongous ass.

• Suggested names for the next Kardashian baby: “Kash” “Ka-Ching” “Kitschy”

• Again, who needs resolutions when you have worries?

Available on Amazon

5 Quickies… Aging is fun.  Here’s to your health!

What do you think of the name of this vitamin for boomer women 50+

“Alive!”   Guess the one for women 60+ is called “Barely Alive?”

And the vitamin for 70+      “Alive & Kicking”

80+      “Lucky to be Alive”

90+      “More Dead than Alive”

Boomer News Baby!

And I thought I had a caffeine problem… A woman kills her husband with a coffee cup. Rather resourceful, but ouch. ABCNEWS 

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• Why Baby Boomers Need More Vitamins