Tag Archives: Boomers

Millennials: 7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

18 Jan

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

 

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

  • You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

  • You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

  • You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]

Worry Warts: What to Kvetch About in 2020

5 Jan

What to Worry About in 2020

Do you worry?
Just in case you need some assistance in thinking up fresh new things to worry about…
I am at your service.
Worry Warts Humor

 

I overthink. I fret. I ruminate. Yes, I engage in tireless philosophical inquiry – so you don’t have to.
Here is my list for the new year.
Knock yourself out!
Enjoy!

 

*******************

 

New Year, New Worries, Anxieties, and Fears

 

  • Porch Pirates  Beware, Matey – even if you don’t have a porch. BTW this is a shadow industry of Amazon Prime.
  • Gluten-free everything
  • World War III
  • THE election
  • Your friends are going all Marie Kondo on you.  So much for “Shop ’til You Drop” trips to the Mall.
  • Boomers are blowing their retirement savings on pot, hips, and knees
  • Alien abductions caught on doorbell cams
  • Wood-inspired flooring   Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
  • You don’t have the new iPhone and you never will.
  • Neo-tribal tattooing
  • Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos,  and plant-based faux cheese burgers.  Hold the fries.  Better yet, hold your nose.
  • You don’t own a single slice of Apple stock  🙁

 

worry warts new year humor

 

Bonus * Insights for 2020

  • The ink that is no longer being used to print books… now appears in the humongous tattoos on your neighbor’s humongous ass.
  • Suggested names for the next Kardashian baby: “Kash” “Ka-Ching” “Kitschy”
  • Again, who needs resolutions when you have worries?

 

Weekend Boomer Funny 5

24 Aug

5 Quickies… Aging is fun.  Here’s to your health!

What do you think of the name of this vitamin for boomer women 50+

Barb Best Humor

 

“Alive!”   Guess the one for women 60+ is called “Barely Alive?”

And the vitamin for 70+      “Alive & Kicking”

80+      “Lucky to be Alive”

90+      “More Dead than Alive”

Boomer News Baby!

And I thought I had a caffeine problem… A woman kills her husband with a coffee cup. Rather resourceful, but ouch. ABCNEWS 

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PunEmployed

1 Mar

Will work for chocolate…

With unemployment and underemployment so high, many of us are reinventing ourselves professionally.

Baby Boomers, I’m not just talking to you!

You may need to rethink your life mission, your calling, your purpose. Have you perhaps considered these little known professions?  Tell me yours!

* How about?

Tarot Card Scholar

Cleanse Coach

Gumball Historian

Pity Party Planner

Hairball Stylist

Aroma Therapy Artist

Disgusting Flavor Jellybean Taster

Twitter Addiction Therapist

Social Media Profile Photo Consultant

Spam Chef

Diva Enabler

Sleep Coach

Clutter Creator

Principal Caregiver to All Devices Electronic

Rant Management Supervisor

Canine Audio Mitigation Specialist

Goldfish Grief Counselor

Zombie Health Practitioner

Ridiculous Excuse Inventor

Spinner to the Stars

Post-It Technician

Procrastination Coordinator

Giggle Facilitator

Sand Castle CEO

Piggy Bank CFO

Prevarication Tutor

Brain Fart Expert

Food Cravings Blogger

Novelty Piercing Retailer

Dream Consultant

Trampoline Tester

Mirth Maven

Government Pork Regulator

Private Parts Investigator

Jellyfish De-boner

Donkey Behaviorist

Dementia Bracelet Designer

Geriatric Sex Counselor

Houseplant Psychiatrist

DVR Instructor

Memory Engineer

“Men Only Spa” Alcoholic Beverage Coordinator

Pekingese Etiquette Coach

“Girls Night Out” Feelings Auditor

Lollipop Historian

Adult Entertainment Researcher

Spanx Trainer

Pet Wedding Photographer

Professional Wallet Organizer

Candle Counter

I’ll bet you have one… Tell me yours!

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