Tag Archives: Associated Press

Weekend Funny 5 Spooky News

26 Oct

No news is good news…

Warnings after chipmunk diagnosed with plague

By AP News  Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Convulsing chipmunks! I always knew camping was bad for you.

 

82-year-old woman suing Trader Joe’s after a can of tuna hit her in head

The New York Post By KATHIANNE BONIELLO   Posted: October 21, 2012

Was it something she said?

 

Drunk Shopping: Are You Guilty of SUI (Shopping Under The Influence)?

The Huffington Post  |  By     Posted: 10/26/2012 8:23 am EDT

Friends don’t let friends drink and click.

 

How clever is this T-Shirt? I love Mental Floss!

 

The Putin ad (that came before the Lena Dunham‘s “The First Time”)

Cool or creepy?

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ain’t That Rich?

31 Jan

In dire economic times, professionals may employ downright crazy strategies to save (steal) money.

A penny saved is worth five to fifteen in the slammer.

According to the Associated Press, 1-24-12:

“A former dentist in Massachusetts has pleaded guilty to Medicaid fraud for using paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals. Authorities say instead of stainless steel posts for root canals, he used sections of paper clips — which can cause pain and even infection — in an effort to save money.”

Root canal is bad enough… without your endodontist cutting (no pun, ouch) corners in such a tawdry fashion. Instead…

Couldn’t he have just cancelled some of those swanky magazine subscriptions?

Or sell the flat screen TV in the waiting room? Not necessary! Nobody’s looking at it. Everybody has their head up focused on their cell phones.

Maybe cut down on the annoying muzak in the examining rooms? Man, we’re nervous enough.

Wax his own damn moustache?

This won’t hurt a bit!

Not pick up the tab for his perky, big boobed receptionist’s weekly manicures?

Engage in some serious extreme couponing like everyone else?

Oy, I wonder… Did he also recycle the bloody gauze from patients’ mouths?

Did he instruct his patients to bring their own water to rinse?

Stock up on his instruments from this guy?

If you’d like to indulge your paranoia over dentists, check these entertaining gems out:

http://youtu.be/bOtMizMQ6oM

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Hairy Christmas!

21 Dec

Has your dog “Snippy” had his photo taken with Santa yet?

Has he sat on Santa’s lap and communicated his heartfelt wants?

According to the L.A. Times, an Associated PressPetside.com poll shows 52% of pet owners plan to buy their animals a holiday gift — up from 43% last year.

Your cat “Snots” may insist she only wants world peace for Christmas, but I recommend you have a bag or two of her favorite 90 proof catnip snaps on hand just in case.

I’ll bet Snippy’s been a really good boy. (We’ll forget about the four sticks of margarine he ate off the kitchen counter yesterday afternoon. Guess his next big gift to you will come already wrapped… I can’t believe it’s not butter!)

Have you bought him a paw-shaped holiday stocking full of candy cane raw hides?

Or a cute, stuffed toy to sleep with and/or rip to pieces?

He may appreciate some fashionable apparel this season. Leopard tees and red turtlenecks are quite handsome – especially on the less dignified breeds.

Snippy will surely enjoy a spa treatment with honey shampoo, tingling chocolate mint conditioner, spray-on detangler and a much needed teeth whitening.

Ever floss a Rotweiller?  (I didn’t think so…)

Hey Fluffy, why not some Botox to go along with those precious pink bows?

A gift certificate for an acupuncture session is a thoughtful gift for the pooch who barks incessantly. You will enjoy it, too.

If puppy seems stressed all the time, why not enlist a therapy dog for him?

It’s the gift that keeps giving.

After all, aren’t ALL dogs therapy dogs?

Memo from the cat:
It’s a wonderful time to donate to local animal welfare organizations and/or adopt a pet!!!

* We wish you a hairy Christmas * We wish you a hairy Christmas *

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