Stressed? 5 Reasons YOU Are Stressed Out

14 Oct

You are stressed out. You are worried. You are miserable.

You are not alone ūüėÄ

Barring a terrorist attack, cataclysmic global economic collapse, or tainted Halloween candy, October is usually a fairly innocuous month.

But not this October.

 

Stressed?

Squeeze!

Reason #1. Did you notice? UGH. It’s an election year.

  • Obviously, THE election is THE main source of our misery. And, I hate to tell you, but the crazy fighting will not end with Election Day. The vitriol will continue forever. Just like your parents’ divorce. Sorry, kids… the innocents suffer the most.

Reason #2. Adding to your stress is the ubiquitous pumpkin.

  • Pumpkin is everywhere. The food industry is a pumpkin pusher. Now through Thanksgiving, the lame fruit of this pimply gourd will pollute your coffee, smoothies, muffins, and pie. So what if very few people actually like the taste of pumpkin? Most of us are just being good sports about the holiday pumpkin thing. We hate pumpkin! Orange is the new “Blech!”

Reason #3. TMI. Too much of a good thing causes angst.

  • Technology. With smartphones, we have access to a bouillabaisse of bullsh*t. There’s a constant stream of news and nonsense flooding your senses.¬† You hold, in the palm of your hand, more words, images, and video than your poor eyeballs and weary brain can process. This is a consumption problem. Who needs nicotine, gin, or tuberculosis when we have Internet addiction?

Reason #4. The experts and their studies.

  • Nutrition experts are especially flaky. After a decade or two of skimpy “Lean Cuisines” and measly cups of low-fat yogurt, you are told that FAT is GOOD for you. Maybe not all fats, but definitely the ones you’ve been avoiding like the plague. We are now warned that even a spoonful of sugar is as harmful as crack. Just to be on the safe side, I’m depriving myself of kale, Brussels sprouts, and kimchee… at some point, the experts will declare they cause cancer.

Reason #5. Halloween Political Correctness.

  • As if Halloween itself is not stressful enough, there are now expectations placed upon your choice of costumes and treats. You must avoid ANY costume that causes anybody any offense. If anyone is slightly miffed, we will all feel the anguish. No stupid or fun costumes will pass the muster, mister! Geez, I thought Halloween was all about stupid and funny.
  • “Treat” choices (aka candy) must be healthy. A box of raisins, a carrot or celery stick, five almonds, and a cup of kimchee are laudable handouts. If you’re smart, you save the good stuff (quality chocolate bars, Dots, Swedish Fish, Milk Duds, Sugar Babies…) for yourself anyway.

Although we are experiencing these five major causes of stress this October, let us remember… misery loves company. And company loves social media. See you on Twitter and Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

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