Humor Books by Women

16 Nov

Looking for a fun read?  Of course you are!

A humor book makes a meaningful, high value, yet affordable gift. Experience the joy that comes from sharing laughter.

These 10 titles are available as quality paperbacks and ebooks on Amazon.

The authors are all funny, sharp women.  Check them out…

The CHICK-tionary From A-Line to Z-Snap, the Words Every Woman Should Know  by Anna Lefler

Hilarious. Includes 450+ words no woman can live without! Destined to be a comedy classic.

Got Milf? The Modern Mom’s Guide to Feeling Fabulous, Looking Great, and Rocking a Minivan by Sarah Maizes

Funny and affirmative.   “Celebrates where the modern woman has taken motherhood.”  A mom can so be hot!

How Not to Act Old 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame by Pamela Redmond Satran

Brilliant, laugh-out-loud funny, and highly informative. A must read!

I REMEMBER NOTHING And Other Reflections by Nora Ephron

A delightful, insightful look at the past, present, and future by the charming and witty Renaissance woman Nora Ephron.

I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman   by Nora Ephron

Hysterical. The chapter “Parenting In Three Stages” is gold.

I STILL HAVE ITI Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It

Confessions of a Fiftysomething by Rita Rudner

“Near-sighted insights” about aging from the very likable, extremely amusing comedian, actress, screenwriter, and author.

Rebel Without A Minivan Observations on Life in the ‘burbs

by Tracy Beckerman

Highly entertaining collection of essays by the author of the popular syndicated humor column, LOST IN SUBURBIA® and grand prize winner of The Balancing Act’s “America’s Top Blogger.”

Sitting On Cold Porcelain by Rose A. Valenta

Amusing, perceptive collection of satirical essays about current events and politics by top syndicated columnist and humorist.

Confessions of A Semi-Natural Woman Mostly True Tales of a Woman under the Influence of Laughter by Leigh Anne Jasheway

Funny stuff from award-winning humor writer, motivational speaker, and stand-up comedienne. She has an M.P.H. – “master of public health/mistress of public humor!”

The Women’s Daily Irony Supplement by Judy Gruen

Classic collection of comedic essays on family and foibles that succeeds beautifully at being both sophisticated and relatable.

ENJOY!    What are your favorite humor books?

©2011, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Barb Best and Barb’s Blast with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Direct questions regarding permissions: barbsblast@gmail.com

Be a fan of “Barb’s Blast Humor Blog” on Facebook, CLICK HERE
Follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE

Enhanced by Zemanta

Jury Duty – Sentenced!

8 Nov

You can’t avoid the envelope. It has that unmistakable crimson ink branded on jaundiced yet official looking “Penalty by Law” speckled government surplus paper! The kind of sad paper they use in prison bathrooms, inner city schools and Port-O-Sans.

Oh, joy! It’s your annual “Howdy Duty Time” greeting from the Superior Court of (insert any major city with a crime rate that exceeds its literacy rate.)

It reads: “Hi there chump! Here is your Summons for Jury Service. May your work schedule, social life and special travel plans be disrupted for the foreseeable future. Any slacker who blows this off, pretends to be dead or fakes a highly contagious disease will be fined $1500 (Penal Code FU-505.)”

“You may postpone your service for up to 90 days, but then we’ll really nail your ass on a long gruesome criminal case so why not just go ahead and eat the nasty frog?  After all, jury ‘duty’ is a privilege, not a punishment, right?

They’ve got you licked, so you buck up like a good citizen, put your life on hold and head down to the courthouse on the assigned date.

There is an hour and a half commute in rush hour traffic, a nasty battle for a parking spot, a security process that resembles a cavity search, and an elevator ride where you are sandwiched between beefy guys with gang tattoos plastered across their subway- train-size heads.

The jury room (termed “the pool” – short for cesspool?) is located in the bowels of the courthouse and is depressingly reminiscent of  detention hall in your recurring nightmare of high school hell.

The prospective jurors (“detainees”) are not happy campers. Most feel as if they have just been arrested themselves. Mournful sighs and expressions of “I never thought I’d miss my (insert job, kids, unemployment) so much” ripple through the bereaved bunch like a wave at a baseball game.

At some point (you’ve lost track of time) you’re sent to a courtroom hallway to wait – standing – for a few more hours with a group of 12 x 12 angry men and women.

In the “Voir Dire” (French for “say something Guano crazy and you get to go home”) the judge will ask if anyone has a significant reason not to serve on a trial. This is a highly entertaining opportunity to see just how creative (and desperate) your fellow detainees are – and how far they will go to be sprung from the joint.

A mousy woman peeps up, “I was arrested for an axe murder and it was a bad experience for me. I carry a buzz saw in my underpants. Wanna see?” (Bingo. Bye honey!)

“I hate all cops. They all lie. I wouldn’t believe any cop who told me anything, even if they just saved my twin babies from a burning car crash.” (Ding! You win the freezer. Adios, amigo!)

“I hate all (insert the race, gender, religion, political party of your choice.) The #!#@!#s  are all #!#@!# crooks and should all be executed. Let me flip the #!#@!# switch.”  (Don’t let the door hit your walker on the way out, granny!)

“I hit and run for a hobby. Helps me vent my road rage.  Got a texting teen on the way her!”  (Hmm, were you charged with that? If not, you can serve.)

And so it drags on, a tedious game of twenty dumb bunny questions in excruciatingly slow motion. There is a note taped to the jury box facing our seats. It says: “No gum chewing. No flip-flops. No alcoholic beverages allowed. DO NOT SLEEP!”

As hours and days drag by at a sadistic pace, you may bond inappropriately with total strangers who have been similarly randomly targeted. Affairs are not uncommon as there are more long bathroom and lunch breaks than any preschooler could imagine.

Call it Stockholm syndrome, but you may find yourself falling madly for the handsome judge who looks so sharp in those slimming black robes. Nobody apologizes incessantly for delays the way “Hugh” does.

Then, for no seemingly rational reason at all, it ends abruptly. You are excused. Free to go. Justice has been served. Ode to Joy! Never will you see mentally stable, cold sober folks act so ebullient in public. You’d think they just won fifty grand and a red Corvette on a game show. “Yippee! I’m free! Now I can make my root canal appointment!”

Enhanced by Zemanta