Barb Best

BOOKS!

Perhaps some good reads will save us from the Summer of Slog.

So many books and so much time. Enjoy!

These books can be found on Goodreads and Amazon.

A new bike for World Bicycle Day?

Yippee!

June 3rd is WORLD BICYCLE DAY

Did you know? More adults than ever are buying bicycles.

And due to the pandemic, there are inventory shortages.

There’s a sense of freedom and abandon when cycling.

You can enjoy the scenery.

Feel the breeze in your hair.

Socially distance without a stupid mask.

Cycle

Riding a bike is like riding a bike, once you learn, you never forget how to do it.

And like broccoli, it’s good for you.

Riding increases balance, flexibility and strength – and it’s more fun than pilates or – God forbid – pickle ball.

It’s not just for kids. Don’t let them have all the fun!

Remember

Do you remember bike riding when you were a child?

A banana seat, a cool horn, streamers hanging from the hand grips, playing cards clipped on the spokes?

Woo Hoo! The Schwinn Sting-Ray is back!

Great for all ages – even cranky seniors.

There’s a bike for everyone

It’s like robbing a liquor store, once you learn, you never forget how to do it.

Creepy

This lyric is loaded with innuendo. Roller skates, keys, bikes. So confusing! Is the singer six or twenty-six?

See you on the bike path… @HaBarb

Humor Books on Amazon

Social Distancing with Alligators – A Little Advice

“Laughter may be the closest distance between two people

BUT

the shortest distance between two people and an alligator is

no laughing matter.”

May 1 – A tipsy woman dies in a fatal gator attack while attempting to get up close and personal with the big boy.

You know the instructions on plastic bags (“This is not a toy”) and boxes of mothballs (“Not a snack. Do not eat”)?

Perhaps alligators need a large flashing neon sign around their necks – “Caution! Do not cuddle!”

Close to You

While extreme social distancing with Granny, Pops, Mom, the cranky neighbor next door, and (of course) your teenager – hey, why not gators, too?

See you later (how about never) alligator

Happy Hour can turn from “Fun to F*#!ed” faster than potato salad at a picnic in the park.

Do people have to be told?

• Don’t drink and dive into a swamp – or try to pet an alligator.

• Swimming is excellent exercise, but not when you’re being eaten by an alligator.

• Please no selfies with ravenous reptiles!

MATING SEASON

• How sweet… do you think I’m sexy?

Home Stuck Home

Quarantine at Home

Lockdown

House Arrest

Feeling stressed?

Of course you are!

“Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim.

Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.” 

― Ovid

7 REALLY FUN THINGS TO DO WHILE STUCK AT HOME

• Stalk the poor unknowing giraffes in the live webcam at Animal Adventure Park

• Think outside the breadbox. Don’t just bake bread or break bread – why not cake the bread?  Forget the flour and eggs.  Jack up the brown sugar, molasses, vanilla extract and cinnamon. Yum.

Homemade Cinnamon Bread

• Study The Kama Sutra.  Surprise your spouse with a pop quiz.

• Live-stream your cat’s DIY pedicure. Document his lack of cooperation and that unmistakable disdain in his eyes. Beware a cat scorned. Remember – there’s a big, fat “ME” in “MEOW.”

• Host a Virtual Pity Party. Drown yourself in cheap wine and sad clown music. Indulge.

• Get pregnant or get another dog. Or both. The more the merrier. Misery loves company.

• Learn How To Make People Laugh!

“Apart from paracetamol, laughter is still the best medicine. If you’ve always dreamed of performing at your local stand-up night, now’s the ideal time to hone those gags. Chicago’s legendary Second City Training Center may be closed, but it’s offering an expanded series of classes online covering everything from performing voiceovers to writing for TV. Most affordable, though, are its $25 drop-in improv and stand-up classes. Sign up and give those one-liners a test run.”

SMILE

For more FUN, see you on Pinterest!

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

Comedy. Laughter. Humor.

Take as often as needed.

No costly doctor’s appointment – in the flesh or virtual – required.

No adverse side effects – not even the usual ones – nausea, headache, constipation, diarrhea, kleptomania, heart attack, tennis elbow, diarrhea, flat foot, droopy eye, dandruff, diarrhea and death.

And – best of all – you can’t overdose on laughter.

Great List ~ Best Comedies to Stream on Netflix ~ Mental Floss

If your time or attention span is short, just watch the trailers for some laughs.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/622691/best-comedies-to-stream-on-netflix

Classic Cat Mental Health Video

This video is especially funny during these days of isolation and existential angst.

You know you want to laugh.

“Comedy Tonight ” with Jason Alexander

A funny thing happened on the way to the pandemic. We maintained our sense of humor 😀

Humor links

https://www.barbbest.com/links/

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

Smiles To Go! The World Needs A Smile

Please support The Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor  and The Humor Academy 

Welcome to the April Fools Sh*t Show

OMG. A pandemic!

And you thought the worst thing about April would be paying your taxes?

In case we all missed it, National Humor Month is here.  Whoopee!

How to celebrate?

How ’bout a month of lock-down, confinement with family and pets (if you’re lucky), unparalleled gut-wrenching anxiety, and mindless navel gazing?

A Sh*tstorm

is “a very unpleasant or difficult situation.”

Ah, don’t you love British understatement?

Patience

Remember – “April showers hitting the fan may bring May flowers and nagging allergies.”

Amusement & Good News

It’s high time to add some amusement to the misery.

Check out John Krasinski and his Good News

Look, ma! Disney Amusement Park rides on YouTube! And no lines!

Be patient and don’t become a patient.

News to Amuse – 7 Items that Won’t Stress You Out

Hand washing or hand wringing

2 minutes x 30 times = 1 Hour a Day

Are you sick of standing at the sink scrubbing your hands for two minutes at a clip?

Do surgeons envy your disinfecting skills?

Is all this cleaning becoming a tad tedious?

Has the whole world gone OCD?

“Better safe than sorry!”

Hand Washing – 7 Ways to Have More Fun

• Recite the Greek alphabet – backwards

• While soaping up, video yourself naked and post to YouTube

• Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong – or scream

• Count the number of toilet paper rolls and Purell squeeze bottles you have hoarded in the last week

• Meditate, chew gum, blow bubbles, hum

• Cry over all of the awesome sports events and concerts you’ll miss in the next month

• Do squats, lunges and buttock-lifting exercises while washing – oh, what fun!

~ Stay Healthy ~ 

5 Flu Prevention Tips for Hypochondriacs & Moms

≈

Air travel

Flying coach.

No leg room.

Narrow seats.

Contagions in the air.

You know you love it.

Bring all of your baggage, that is…

except your anxiety, impatience and negativity.

Leave home without them.

###

7 New Realities of Flying

• Surgical masks shall be worn at all times – their single purpose being to spook the hypochondriac sitting next to you.

• Caution. Traveling with a pet under your seat in the cabin will not satisfy your need for in-flight entertainment. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Ear and nose plugs highly recommended.

• No matter how cute, your emotional support miniature horse is not permitted to give pony rides to toddlers in the aisle. Nothing interferes with the important business of mile-high soft drink and pretzel delivery. Not even a viral video opportunity.

• New FAA rule: All babies qualify as emotional support animals and shall fly for free.

• While slogging through security, there will be no joking! Especially about da bomb you are hiding in your oddly heavy carry-on bag.

• If you are a gentleman of advanced age and your prostate is the size of a giant lemon, please pay for an aisle seat. It’s unseemly for us to interrupt our Netflix binging and get up every fifteen minutes so you can waddle to the restroom. No lemonade for you, sir.

• I don’t know what your travel issue is, but the answer is most likely Benadryl.

Air travel is not for sissies. You may as well laugh.

Funny Woman

Judy Garland was very funny!

Watch the movie JUDY for the laughter as well as for the pathos and the singing.

“People always thought I was funny. I was never funny.

You know who was truly funny? Judy Garland.

Judy Garland was funny.

She made me look like a mortician.” 

– Lucille Ball

[…]

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

• You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

• You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

• You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]