Barb Best

Holidays

The holidays are upon us

Yay! and Ugh!

‘Tis the season to be harried

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

‘Tis the season to be melancholy

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Do You Have Exploding Head Syndrome YET?

[…]

Sorry is the hardest word.

Cockamamie Confessions

Guilty of “inappropriate sexual behavior?”

It’s time for a pricey crisis public relations consultant, a criminal defense lawyer (preferably female) and perhaps, a cushy stint in rehab.

I’m Sorry

“Remember that time I tackled you on the fire escape during the office holiday party, grabbed you by the hair, dragged you back into the burning building (those damn candle decorations), and raped you on top of the microwave in the break room?”

“I have a different recollection of that incident than you do.”

So Sorry

[…]

Book

I loved Gretchen Rubin’s latest book The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too). I listened to the audiobook version – it is fascinating!

Expectations

The Four Tendencies provides a framework to identify in ourselves – and others – how we are inclined to respond to expectations. The tendencies are Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel.

La La La

Recently, I attended a production of Carmen with three friends – a Questioner, an Obliger, and an Upholder. Like most comedic saps, I am a Rebel. […]

Cellphones and Signals

Reaching me via cell – the expectations are way too high!

8:15 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, (cough) (cough) will you give me a ring when you get a chance? Thank you.”

9:25 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, would you mind driving honey? I don’t feel like driving. (laughter) Would you mind? Um, I’m trying to see if 12:00 is a good time for us to leave. No, not leave here, I mean just to get there. Um, what’s the traffic? I wonder if you’ve been out yet? You haven’t been out yet, have you? Okay, give me a call when you get this. Thank you, dear. Bye.”

10:42 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, I’ve been trying to reach you. (strained laughter) Is your phone ringing or what? Um… I figure we should leave around twenty-five after ’cause it takes a little while to go through the park up there… if that’s okay with you (thru teeth) sweetheart.

Okay, I’ll talk to you when you get home.” CLICK.

[…]

Puddles Pity Party

What’s not to love?

[…]

Giraffe

Tall tale or tall tail?

It’s a zoo out there

For reasons unknown, I recently visited a zoo.

The highlight was visiting the Masai giraffes.

There was a family of three – Michael, Betty Lou, and Parker. Yup, they had names, but not name tags.

For an extra eight bucks, you could “Get up close and personal with the tallest residents of the Zoo! Hand feed Masai giraffes and have the experience of a lifetime.”

I was too late (and too cheap) to make feeding time,

BUT I discovered that the real show is not feeding the giraffes – it’s hanging with them after they dine. […]

My cat has a bucket list.

As a matter of fact, he has nine.

            You talkin’ to me?

He has (begrudgingly) granted me permission to share his first list with you.

• Roll in the dirt with that sassy ginger tabby from across the street who struts by my sliding glass door several times a week.

[…]

Flash!

The news is stressing everyone out.

Anxiety, depression, and despair are consuming many, BUT –

Good News!

Not all of the headlines are apocalyptic. Some are merely strange and disturbing.

Here are 7 ITEMS you may have missed

• Aim is everything… Axe throwing is now one of the hottest competitive sports http://nyp.st/2uYrkWQ

• Is alimony next? Sex robot makers claim lonely customers are marrying their dolls http://nyp.st/2vFebmv

[…]

As far as I’m concerned, it’s always time for chocolate and coffee.

Krispy Kreme

and a Total Solar Eclipse?

Sounds like an excuse to partay!

I’m ready. And I’m going to the dark side.

“Dark” as in…

coffee and chocolate, of course.

[…]

Healthcare Fun

Let’s make a money mountain out of an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny mole!

“Holy Moly!”

News Flash

I notice a new? mole on my neck.

Being hyper vigilant (and vain) I hop online and compare my mole to images of other moles.

(BTW it is disturbing how many pics of moles are posted on the web. Way too much sharing!) […]