Barb Best

Holiday Food Binge: Death by Fruitcake

Want to die doing what you love? Eating!

How about binging on the irresistible holiday treats that are ubiquitous this time of year?

Four out of five sugar addicts agree – holiday food is the best way to go.

Fruitcake Binge

Like ukulele music, you either love fruitcake or you hate it.

There are at least two ways to die via fruitcake. […]

Play with Your Words

After all, what good is life if you can’t amuse yourself, play a game, have some fun?

Long Car Trips

According to the AAA, “49.3 million travelers will hit the road this Thanksgiving, the most since 2005 and 2.8% more than last year.”

So Where’s the FUN in sitting in the car for hours?

For Word Lovers, FUN is Reading Car License Vanity Plates

The PLAY is in the PLATES 🙂

You’ll discover the expression of individual spirit, feelings, attitude, identity, creativity, humor, and style.

[…]

Sweet!

Leftover Halloween Candy – Holiday Curse or Blessing?

Okay, you bought enough fertilizer-size bags of Halloween candy to feed an army of carpenter ants, but

… WHAT?

Only five lousy kids came to your door trick or treating…

and two of those were your own?

[…]

Doom and Doomer

Is the world in crisis? Doomed?

Is it careening toward complete death and destruction?

Are you worried about the future of your children, grandchildren, and young pets?

Apocalypse Anxiety

Are you in a frantic funk?  Devoid of hope?

May I suggest some doomsday therapy.

Watching music videos of Iconic Sixties Tunes will ironically help you feel better.

No Kidding

You think it’s bad now…

Guess what?

… it’s always bad 🙂 […]

Not all news is a nightmare designed to give you an ulcer.

Read all about it!

Amuse the News

If you boycott current events for merely a day,

you will miss amazing, funny stories like these special ones I have curated

just for you. 🙂

Say Cheese

New York Post

Shrewd 9-year-old fills lip balm tube with cheese to eat in class 

With stories like this, I am no longer worried about today’s youth.

Kid is clever. So what if the teacher is lactose intolerant?

I would plead “I have legal rights! This is my therapy cheese.”

Lesson learned. Don’t leave home without your cheese.

*** […]

Retirement for workaholics?

It happens!

Sort of.

[…]

THINK RHYMES WITH STINK

Do you think about something too much or for too long?

Overthinking will cast a dark cloud on your sunny song.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Thinking, for many, is hard labor.

And overthinking can be downright debilitating.

NO WORRY

Love this quote from cartoonist, editor, and author Bob Mankoff

Humor is the antidote… […]

Thoughts While Waiting for a Colonoscopy

Sooner or later, we all have this medical procedure done.

My thoughts

My colonoscopy

• At least I get to lie down for awhile. I could use a nap. Too bad it takes an invasive medical procedure and an I.V. propofol drip to cop a snooze. Michael Jackson, I feel your pain.

• The slit in the back of this gown is rather stylish. Perhaps a new fashion trend? Maybe the holes in jeans are in the wrong places.

[…]

Meetings

Can you die of boredom?

Death certificate will read: Cause of death – Meetings!

“She was hanging in there pretty well, but then a meeting did her in.”

Moi

Sure, I look alert and interested in this HOA meeting.

I’ll bet my faux expression of keen attention is fooling the overbearing board members and those oddly perky neighbors sitting next to me.

If it weren’t for the rampant yawns, the tears streaming down my face, and the occasional uncontrolled giggling – they’d have not a clue that I’m bored silly.

Thoughts While Sitting at a Meeting

•  OMG I’d rather be antiquing in Provence… or even Poughkeepsie.

[…]

Love Thy Neighbors

Like family, we don’t choose them.

A wonderful neighbor is a blessing and a friend.

A crazy neighbor is a curse from hell.

[…]