Barb Best

Misery? It’s not merely a Stephen King novel.

Happiness? It’s not just a smiley face or an emoticon.

You don’t need another self-help book. They suck.

Instead, you need to laugh at your troubles. Kvetch and complain. Embrace the pain. Feel the joy.

Humor me…

My NEW humor book!!!  BUY HERE 🙂

[…]

WHY MY PURSE WEIGHS 50 FRIGGIN’ POUNDS

After all, isn’t a purse just an enabler for mobile hoarders?

I suppose my purse/bag would be lighter if these items were not in it?

• Multiple lipsticks, concealers,  mascara, a tiny make-up guy.

• A Six-Pack of emergency water bottles – an absolute necessity for survival if stuck in traffic during a heatwave during a SIG alert during an earthquake during a heart attack during a hurricane during a nuclear attack during a tsunami during a…

[…]

Hello

So much email, so many phone calls, too many texts… too little time.

So Why Haven’t I Returned Your Emails, Calls, and Texts in 5 Weeks?

Hello! It’s challenging to muster the same sense of urgency to email, call, text responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching The Tennis Channel.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails, calls, texts either 🙂 […]

Run-of-the-mill pain, angst, misery – it’s all relative.

One poor schlub’s kidney stone is someone else’s stubbed toe.

Many people claim to be miserable. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you hurt?

Universal Pain Assessment Tool

Seriously: You don’t have to be totally free of pain to be 🙂 […]

GOAL is a four-letter word

If you’re a proud slacker, you are most likely just now getting around to giving some (but not too much) thought to the dreaded New Year’s Goals and Resolutions.

I can help with this endeavor.

Advice – you know you love it!

Here are a few goals you may want to add to your (no doubt) short list…

[…]

I hate alarm clocks, even the cute one on my iPhone.

They are about as comforting as jackhammers and leg cramps – and almost as jarring as a bugle blast in the face.

Good Morning Sunshine!

Must greeting the new day become a cortisol-pumping emergency? […]

Happy Holidays!

Want to die doing what you love?

How about overindulging in the irresistible holiday treats that are ubiquitous this time of year?

Four out of five sugar addicts agree – holiday food is the best way to go.

Fruitcake

Like ukelele music, you either love fruitcake or you hate it.

There are at least two ways to die via fruitcake. […]

May I suggest a new hobby?

These are a few hobbies I’m seriously considering…

Sleep Eating

Sleep can be oh so boring, so what better way to liven it up? Go on a groggy 2:00 a.m. binge with a banana bundt cake or a bucket of fried chicken – all without the guilt. Sleep eating combines two of my favorite activities… sleeping and eating!

Competitive dog grooming

It’s also pet therapy. Everyone gets a sloppy kiss. Also a few bites and scratches. […]

Thanksgiving with the family?

We all agree a homicide-free holiday is nice.

MY TIPS

• Don’t talk politics.

• Respect your family members’ feelings… even if they are obviously stupid, illogical, and batsh*t crazy.

• Don’t talk politics.

[…]

A News Intervention

Have you been overdosing on the news?  (Of course you have.)

Consuming media 24/7?  (You bet!)

Watching, reading, and listening to everything? (Oh, yeah.)

Now that the election is over

Perhaps you need to go on an Information Diet, Internet Detox, or Facebook Cleanse?

If you are like me, you are ready for a strong bourbon and a boob massage about now. […]