Mother’s Day: What NOT To Give Your Mother

9 May

The Gift of Mother’s Day

Hurrah!

Another “holiday” full of hype, unrealistic expectations, and expense.

Plus loads of gifting pressure.

Because we all know that, whatever she says, gifts are Mom’s love language.

Here are a few tips to assist you in giving well, and perhaps, clinching favorite child status.

Mother's Day Gifts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What NOT To Give Your Mother

  • GRIEF – Don’t get arrested, crash your car, post a sex tape, or kill your brother (it’s her kid!). At least, not today.

 

  • AGING PRODUCTS – Not cool. This includes anti-wrinkle creams, cosmetic surgery, Botox injections, and turkey neck cures.

 

  • WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM SUBSCRIPTIONS – No matter how sorely needed, this is not a safe or tactful idea.

 

  • A PHONE CALL OR WORSE YET A MEASLY TEXT – If you only reach out once a year, this could backfire big time. You, ungrateful one, are already out of the will.

 

  • PRE-ARRANGED FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS – Seriously? A present that you can’t even use while you’re alive? You have to be dead? How passive aggressive.

 

  • ARMY BOOTS – Unless, of course, Mommy is in the Army. “Your Mom wears Army boots” is no longer an insult – it’s likely a compliment. We’ve come a long way, baby.

 

  • UNNECESSARY WORRY AND ANXIETY – If you are hell-bent on skydiving, bungee jumping, wrestling crocodiles, or exploring Pyongyang – don’t tell her ’til after the dirty deed is done!  At the very least, you’ll postpone the pain.

The real gift is Motherhood. It is the gift that keeps on giving!

*** Happy Mother’s Day! ***

Mother's Day Gifts NOT To Give

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should we tell our children what we really want?

“Sure, honey. This is what I’d love. Here’s my list. Get crackin’!”

  • A round-trip, first class, all expenses paid vacation to Bora Bora
  • A spa week in Provence, champagne included
  • Pay off my mortgage
  • A gaggle of grandchildren
  • Lifelong 24-7 tech help
  • A ruby red Maserati Gran Turismo Convertible

*** Happy Mothers Day! ***

Funny Mom Flicks 4 Mother’s Day

 

 

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