Holidays: ‘Tis the Season to Survive the Stress

14 Dec

Happy Holidays

Holidays and stress go together like eggnog and rum, like millennials and artisanal creameries, like politicians and lying.

Deck the halls with boughs and blabber
‘Tis the season to be grumpy,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tis the season to be jumpy,
Ha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

A new study published in the British Medical Journal claims that your risk of heart attack is greatest on Christmas Eve and the following two days.

An excerpt from The Misery Manifesto,

the¬†month-by-month survival guide…

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Available on Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December * Holidays Are A Pain In the Aspirations

You’d like peace and quiet for the holidays. You want to relax. You want to stop and inhale the roses. You’re sadly optimistic on this count.

Instead, you’ll be busier than ever. Holidays require an inordinate amount of energy and time. You have stuff to do you had no idea you had to do. Even if you’re taking a week off from work, you’ll be busting your ass big-time. Ho, Ho, Ho!

A QUIZ: Will You Survive the Holidays?

  1. When you hear “Ho, Ho, Ho,” you…

a) Break out in hives

b) Assume Uncle Jerry is drunk again

c) Feel a dark cloud moving over you

d) Remember you’re late paying your Visa bill

e) Are warmed by the holiday spirit

2.¬† Your aging mother insists you help her with her chirpy annual Christmas party. You…

a) Fake mononucleosis to avoid the hard labor

b) Book a one-way ticket to Bora Bora

c) Pick a nasty fight with Mom so she won’t speak with you for a couple of years

d) Rent a female sibling so she can deal with it

e) Stock up on Xanax and feign holiday cheer one last time

3. The holidays fill you with…

a) Anxiety

b) Gas

c) High cholesterol

d) Flashbacks filled with trauma

e) Unbearable joy

More to the quiz in The Misery Manifesto.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Happy Holidays: Eating Tips To Ignore

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