Hello: Eleven Reasons Why

17 Feb


So much email, so many phone calls, too many texts… too little time.




So Why Haven’t I Returned Your Emails, Calls, and Texts in 5 Weeks?

Hello! It’s challenging to muster the same sense of urgency to email, call, text responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching The Tennis Channel.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails, calls, texts either ūüôā

11 Reasons for My Slow Response

  • Too much “connection” – mostly via the iPhone.
  • Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.
  • Lost in the throes of a winter romance with UnReal Candy Coated Milk Chocolate Peanuts.
  • The flu. It’s going around. Don’t want to catch it. Minimizing all contact.
  • Been swamped studying for the final exam for my adult coloring class.
  • Too much plaid. It’s everywhere. You know it and I know it.
  • Addled and anxious – due, no doubt, to way too many fizzy drinks. OR perhaps all the pain and suffering in the world. Carbonation kills.
  • Hello! Envious of that goody two shoes Adele.
  • Dealing with trauma caused by friends’ sexy Valentine’s Day extravaganza photos posted on Facebook
  • It’s hook-up night at the nursing home.
  • Procrastinator privilege.




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