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Work & Retirement: All You Really Need to Know

14 Sep

Retirement for workaholics?

It happens!

Sort of.

Work Retirement Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When a Type-A workaholic retires from his or her long standing employment,

 

No matter the age,

 

New life skills must be learned… especially when one is married.

 

workaholics retirement work life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons

This is just the beginning of a new learning experience.

You can call this process WORK, then maybe you’ll be able to enjoy it.

******

All the workaholic really needs to know…

lessons work retirement

 

 

 

 

 

 

… He learns in retirement 🙂

 

  • All I need for breakfast is a Keurig coffee maker, a toaster and an appreciation for sugary baked goods.
  • There are effective ways to warm breakfast bread, but NEVER, EVER broil a croissant!
  • I have three kids, not two. Who knew?
  • My neighbors are eccentric (c-r-a-z-y) and yet sort of cool. I’d like to get to know them. What are their names again?
  • Geez, our dog is high maintenance as hell. He is more demanding than any of our two three kids.
  • I thought I retired from work, but I only retired from a job. How come there’s still so much work to do everyday? Hmm… I may have to learn how to (gasp) play.

Workaholic retire wife cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • We have a plus-sized cat. It seems he and my wife are way too close, dare I say intimate? I think I’m jealous.
  • When I do jobs around the house, I don’t get paid. WTF!  I am shocked at this injustice! How long has this been going on?
  • It’s not easy to relax. Meditation and yoga and exercise are labor.
  • I’m no longer the boss.
  • I’m no longer the boss? Thank God! Less responsibility. Less pressure. Less stress. Amen.

 

Learning… It never ends

Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

Meetings: Thoughts While Dozing at an HOA Meeting

1 Aug

Meetings

Can you die of boredom?

Death certificate will read: Cause of death – Meetings!

“She was hanging in there pretty well, but then a meeting did her in.”

 

Boring Meetings Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moi

Sure, I look alert and interested in this HOA meeting.

I’ll bet my faux expression of keen attention is fooling the overbearing board members and those oddly perky neighbors sitting next to me.

If it weren’t for the rampant yawns, the tears streaming down my face, and the occasional uncontrolled giggling – they’d have not a clue that I’m bored silly.

Bored in a Meeting Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts While Sitting at a Meeting

  •  OMG I’d rather be antiquing in Provence… or even Poughkeepsie.

[…]

Freedom: Wearing The Same Thing Every Day

2 Jul

Freedom!

Choice!

Minimalism?

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a disturbing trend… people wearing the same thing every day.

What happened to fashion, style, color, texture, variety?

Fashion can be exciting, creative, stimulating.

Just ask Lady Gaga

Celebrate your freedom this 4th!

[…]

Film: The Lumière Brothers & The Cinematograph

21 Jun

Film: The Lumière Brothers & The Cinematograph

Film: Let There Be Light

The best thing about flying Air France?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Besides le food et la champagne, of course.

The selection of movies to watch!

Highly recommended…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lumière! / Lumière ! L’aventure commence (2017) – Trailer (English Subs)

 

 

“A journey into the universe of the founders of cinema, narrated by Frèmaux with passion and humour, LUMIÈRE! delivers unfrogettable image and a unique view of France and the world at the dawn of the modern era; truly essential films that illuminate the world of contemporary filmmaking.”

In the 1890’s, The Lumière Brothers invented the Cinematograph.

The Happy Skeleton

 

No flying necessary. Available online.

On Amazon Video

Fascinating!

https://www.festival-cannes.com/en/films/lumiere

 

Shop ’til You Drop, Buy ’til You Cry

24 May

Shop ’til You Drop, Buy ’til You Cry

Is the Consumerism vs. Minimalism dilemma naggin’ at your noggin?

Shop 'til you drop, Consumer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After all, there is so much stuff, yet so little time, money, and space.

Is consumer debt dragging you down?

Stuff

Are you drowning in stuff?

Do you dream of a dumpster rental to solve your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mess?

Are you feeling compelled to tidy up?

Dying to spark joy? […]

Mother’s Day: What NOT To Give Your Mother

9 May

The Gift of Mother’s Day

Hurrah!

Another “holiday” full of hype, unrealistic expectations, and expense.

Plus loads of gifting pressure.

Because we all know that, whatever she says, gifts are Mom’s love language.

Here are a few tips to assist you in giving well, and perhaps, clinching favorite child status.

Mother's Day Gifts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What NOT To Give Your Mother

  • GRIEF – Don’t get arrested, crash your car, post a sex tape, or kill your brother (it’s her kid!). At least, not today.

[…]

Fake Vacations: Is the Unposted Life Worth Living?

28 Apr

Life…

Life Unposted Fake vacations

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The examined life is worth living.

The documented life is worth living.

But is the publicized life worth living?

Fake or Real?

Life publicized is posted on social media with text, images, and/or video for the universe to see.

It’s all out there – the good, the bad, and the boring.

The mundane and the meaningless.

The real and the fabricated.

[…]

News Flash: Goofy News to Amuse You

12 Apr

Fun: Goofy News to Amuse You

The truth is stranger than fake news.

 

Fun: Goofy News for You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goofy News

Brain Zaps for Memory

https://nyp.st/2U7De9H

 

Snacking Hack – Nutella

https://nyp.st/2UtEwR2

[…]

Life Hacks for April National Humor Month

29 Mar

LIfe Hacks for April National Humor Month

You know you need them!

National Humor Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live a Better Life Already

7 Trendy Tips to Up Your Game

  • How to get a pedicure when you’re wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet (and not electrocute yourself).

 

  • Using duct tape on pimples and fever blisters. (Don’t worry that you’ll never get it off)

 

  • Diet tips to motivate you and your fat dog. (Does not involve duct tape)

 

  • Take a power nap in the refrigerator. Boosts metabolism. Increases zest for life (and brain freeze).

 

  • Learn 501 ways to tie a scarf. Renews creativity. (Includes 499 ways you’ll never wear)

 

  • For sugar cravings, suck on mint dental floss. (Surprisingly satisfying if you’re on a 3-day fast)

 

  • Did you know? In a pinch, dental floss doubles as a cuticle clipper. (Impress your fancy friends at a dinner party with this life hack)

 

April National Humor Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

Mindless Thought For The Day: LIFE IS…

Still Not Dead: Willie Nelson + It’s Heart Month

1 Feb

Still Not Dead: Willie Nelson + It’s Heart Month

Still not Dead is a funny song written by Willie Nelson.

“I woke up still not dead again today.”
Still Not Dead: Willie Nelson + Heart Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[…]