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Neighbors? Anything but Bores on Nextdoor

1 Oct

Neighbors? Anything but Bores on Nextdoor

Neighbors? Anything but Bores on Nextdoor

Neighbors Nextdoor

 

NEIGHBOR is defined as

One who lives near or next to another

A fellow human

A fellow human! This covers every imaginable sort of person of interest under the sun.

Every stripe and strain from “Miss Congeniality” to “FBI’s Most Wanted”

Saints, sinners, helpers,

Freaks, fools and tools,

Lovers and haters.

AND they are all on the online Nextdoor platform – the popular social networking service for neighborhoods.

Nextdoor seems to have an attraction for the “Karens” and the trolls.

 

Neighbors Nextdoor

Love Thy Neighbor

 

What happened to the sweet souls who bake chocolate chip cookies and drop them off at your front door to welcome you to the ‘hood?

Online we have the cranks who grapple, clash, and lock horns at the drop of a cup of sugar.

The obsessives with numerous photos of their landscaping and house upgrades, and holiday decorations. Halloween anybody? Are you ready?

Petty arguments abound. Name calling is common — “A*s*o*l*e” being the favorite endearment 🙂

Lewd photos and snarky comments are posted in response to your heartfelt posts about your beloved cat.

Neighbors cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hopefully, the body count on Nextdoor doesn’t escalate to the height of the

Hatfield and McCoy Feud on The History Channel

There’s even a hilarious Twitter stream that documents some of the more noteworthy (insane) posts.

Maybe it can be more like “You’ve Got a Friend In Me”

 

 

It’s always a good time to buy books on Amazon !!!

Neighbors to Love: 7 Posts from Next Door

Comedy Videos: I See Funny Women

3 Sep

Comedy Videos: I See Funny Women

Comedy Videos:  I See Funny Women

Laughter for Today, Tonight, Tomorrow… an antidote to the news.

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo […]

Aging? You’re So Old You Probably Think This Joke Is About You

1 Aug

Aging? You’re So Old You Probably Think This Joke Is About You

Aging?

You don’t feel old, but do you act old?

 

jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’re as old as you act.

 

If the Joke Fits – Laugh!

 

  • Do you really need a park bench to sit on when taking a shower?

[…]

April Pain: Reason to Complain

2 Apr

April Pain

On a scale of 1 to 10, where is yours?

 

Pain reason complain

Pain is Relative

Nobody has no pain. Not even a sea sponge or a nitrous oxide enthusiast.

Constant stress from styrofoam cling-on… a 2?

A nagging concern about proper toe alignment… a 1?

Cardiac surgery… a 10!

Childbirth… an 11!

A paper cut from a past due snail mail bill… a 5?

Personally, I worry that it’s wicker bag season. I hate wicker. It cannot compete with calfskin, cotton canvas or nylon as an accessory… a 2?

I love a Ceasar salad, but croutons annoy. They lack character. They either try too hard or not enough… a 3?

Perspective

Pain is subjective, but so is pleasure and joy.

Covid-19 pandemic, lockdown hell, illness and death… 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 +

My arm hurts – not from the shot – but from logging onto numerous websites for days, weeks, months trying to nail an appointment for the vaccine… not even a 1.

Scientists seek ways to finally take real measure of pain…

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2019-01-scientists-ways-real-pain.html

 

JUST IN TIME!  APRIL IS NATIONAL HUMOR MONTH 🙂

 

I Feel Your Pain

National Humor Month

Survey This: Are Surveys A Pet Peeve of Yours?

1 Mar

Customer Service

And the survey says…

we hate surveys!

Survey Pet Peeve

 

Too many questions!

Too many urgent requests for mindless opinions.

Are we all so famished for feedback?

Lengthy surveys for every inconsequential product and service.

Screens of redundant questions on minute aspects of a minor service or product.

Who cares?

You had a 15-second interaction on a phone call with our service representative “Urina” regarding

a delivery of Acme Paper Clips and a survey is emailed, texted and dropped on your head by a drone four

minutes later.

Surveys Pet Peeve

 

 

 

 

Rate Your Experience 🙂

a) Did Urina solve your problem? Not your big problem (you seem to have so many), but your product issue with Acme Paper Clips.

b) Was she/he/? at least friendlier than most of your friends and family members?

c) In the call, did you suspect bad breath? Bad vibes? A mood disorder?

d) Did Urina explain – in simple terms that the average Golden Retriever can understand – the technology involved with your issue?

e) Would you recommend our company Acme Paper Clips to other clueless customers who feel lost when navigating the paperclip world?

f) Would you spend five minutes of your precious life to write a pithy 5 Star review for us on Instagram, Facebook, Yelp, Twitter and Dogpile?

Gee, thanks! This saves us a boatload of money on advertising fees and – guess what – no need to hire a marketing team.

And the survey says…

Resembling Tina Fey helps! Winning!

Groundhog Day: The Date, The Movie, The Legend

2 Feb

Groundhog Day: The Date, The Movie, The Legend

Groundhog Day

Ho Hum. February 2nd is Groundhog Day weather you like it or not.

The much maligned beaver and the irrelevant aardvark should have such marketing teams behind them.

BTW why doesn’t the groundhog have a mask on?

Is he alone on his laptop?

2021’s Groundhog Day will be virtual

When the groundhog sees his shadow, perhaps it’s merely the positioning of the TV cameras and lighting?

Comedy Classic

And yet, out of all the groundhog drivel, hype and hoopla exists a hilarious movie,

a comedy classic.

BILL MURRAY

 

Who needs Groundhog Day when you’ve got “Groundhog Day” the movie?

DUST OFF YOUR UKULELE

FYI FEBRUARY 2nd is also Play Your Ukulele Day

Who knew?

https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/play-your-ukulele-day/

 

Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

3 Jan

Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

While contemplating goals and intentions for the new year 2021 (yawn),

I asked pals, “What have I and/or you accomplished in 2020?”

 

Dubious Achievements friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prolific artistic output?  A thick, juicy novel ripe with creative breakthroughs?

A slew of wonderful new paintings — like 83 year old David Hockney?

After a totally non-scientific study and truly shallow analysis…

Ta Da!

[…]

Daylight Savings Time: I Got Circadian Rhythm

1 Nov

Daylight Savings Time: I Got Circadian Rhythm

Daylight savings time

Tick tock, tick tock.

Turn your clock back or is it forward?

Fall back, spring ahead, fall forward, spring back?

Daylight savings time is like kimchee – nobody seems to like it.

And yet there it is.

It’s fake time!

Even the dog and cat are confused by it.

 

Daylight savings time Circadian Rhythm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does anybody really know what time it is?

 

 

As if the pandemic hasn’t skewed your sense of time over these tedious months,

The powers that be shall now screw with your Circadian rhythm!

So much for your delicate sleep routine.

Your internal clock will be out of whack again.

There will be more darkness, less light.

 

Daylight savings time Circadian rhythm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank God for caffeine

 

Daylight savings time Circadian rhythm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rhythm

How do I keep time?

I got rhythm!  I got caffeine! Who could ask for anything more?

 

 

 

Alarm Clocks are Evil and Sleep is Divine

Social Distancing: The Howard Hughes Guide

5 Sep

Social Distancing Pointers from Howard Hughes

Having trouble social distancing

being stuck at home

how ’bout

taking some grooming tips from

the eccentric, reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes –

you will not only be successfully distanced…

people will stay clear away from you!

 

social distancing guide howard hughes

Image Wikimedia Commons

 

DO IT LIKE HOWARD!

  • Wash your hands 15 times a day – so what if you’re wearing gloves? You don’t need a pandemic to be Mr. Clean.

 

  • Wear Kleenex box hats. Nothing like protective headgear to make you feel safe and sound. And much more stylish than a tin foil cap.

 

  • Only bed busty actresses and only have sex with them once, then gorge yourself for months on their housekeeper’s baked goods – while they fantasize about marrying you and helping you handle your filthy millions.

 

Social Distancing Howard Hughes

Image Wikimedia Commons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Grow foot-long, curly fingernails that put Elvira to shame.

 

  • Don’t trim – or comb – your beard for a decade.

 

All in jest.

Books

Read these fantastic biographies of the genius Howard Hughes

Movies

ICYMI… here is a great movie about Howard Hughes

The Aviator (2004) Official Trailer #1 – Leonardo DiCaprio

 

 

 

Books to Lighten Up Your Summer: 7 Enjoyable Ones

2 Jul

BOOKS!

Perhaps some good reads will save us from the Summer of Slog.

BarbBestHumor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So many books and so much time. Enjoy!

 

These books can be found on Goodreads and Amazon.

Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee

Joy is all around us.

Joyful

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Madwoman and the Roomba: My Year of Domestic Mayhem by Sandra Tsing Loh

Hilarious!

Lighten Up Summer humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laugh Lines: My Life Helping Funny People Be Funnier by Alan Zweibel

Insightful.

Summer Reads Laugh Lines

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less (Winner of the Pulitzer Prize): A Novel by Andrew Sean Greer

Entertaining.

Less Pulitzer Prize

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Story I Am: Mad About the Writing Life by Roger Rosenblatt 

Interesting.

Summer books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preaching Punchlines: The Ten Commandments of Comedy by Susan Sparks

Thoughtful and funny.

Summer Laughs comedy book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Themes and Variations by David Sedaris

Weird funny.

David Sedaris humor book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Company 🙂

Goodreads 

Books