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Is Your 20-Something Ready to Marry? A Checklist

25 Jul

 

Is your 20-Something ready (as in mature enough) to marry?

EEK! Your little baby, a 20-Something, is tying the marriage knot.

Is Your 20-Something Ready to Marry?

Here is a checklist to determine if he/she is sufficiently prepared for matrimony.

  • Potty-trained
  • Pays own cell phone bill
  • Able to kill a spider by self
  • Wisdom teeth (and some wisdom) have appeared

[…]

Funny Mom Flicks 4 Mother’s Day

9 May


Funny Flicks!

FUNNY MOMS!

Enjoy a laugh or fifty-two with your kids!

Funny MOM movies for Mother’s day!

Some of our faves…

Film poster for Freaky Friday - Copyright 2003...

Freaky Friday

Jamie Lee Curtis – she’s the mother, she’s the daughter, she’s the mother in the daughter’s body, she’s the daughter in the mother’s body?  Whatever!  Gosh, role reversal comedies are confusing!

She jams at The House of Blues with your garage band, tells your creepy English teacher to take a hike, hops on a Harley for a love ride with the dreamy boy you’re bonkers about and smooches him good – even if it is with her lips, not yours!

 

Mean Girls

Amy Poehler is alpha Plastic Regina George’s “cool mom” in Tina Fey’s screenplay.

What kind of mother flaunts her breast implants, talks trash with your gal friends and offers you an afternoon cocktail?

Hey, don’t judge – it keeps her feeling young! […]

Dear FOOD NETWORK

25 Apr

 

Dear Food Network
Dear Food Network,
Thank you for teaching my kids how to cook fancy schmancy.

The vast culinary knowledge they have acquired lounging in front of the TV and laptop (love your website) has raised the chow bar to quite a sophisticated level.

Unfortunately, they leave 99% of the actual cooking to moi.

 

Dear Food Network

Cook Like A Star!

 

I can no longer pawn turkey hot dogs, tuna sandwiches, or cans of noodle soup off as a meal. […]

Driving Me Crazy: 12 Excuses… What STOP Sign?

10 Apr

 

Driving can drive you crazy.

BarbBestDrivingMeCrazy

“Gee, Officer. Was there a STOP sign back there? I didn’t see a STOP sign. Please don’t shoot – just kidding.”

SO… WHY DIDN’T I SEE THAT STOP SIGN?

Excuses, Excuses!

* I was doing the finishing touches on my pedicure. After all, I’m on my way to my GYN app’t.

* Purse dog was driving. He’s nearsighted. […]

7 Signs Your Dog and Your Cat are Gifted!

12 Jul

Yippee! It’s a summer rerun 😀

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet and social media. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” […]

Interview With Author Tracy Beckerman’s Puppy

7 Mar

 

By popular demand… THE interview with Tracy’s DOG (April 1st, 2013)

Tracy will be a workshop session presenter at The Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop on April 10 -12.

Author Tracy Beckerman & Her Puppy Monty

Funny new book by popular columnist Tracy Beckerman!  Lost In Suburbia: A Momoir  How I got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs

Tracy gave us an exclusive… an interview with her fetching puppy Monty.

TracyBeckerman

LostInSuburbia

Monty

“The Scoop” with Monty B.

Monty, you’re even cuter than Tracy’s cell phone pics and Facebook videos. How do you maintain your playful, perky, puppy style? How old are you?

I turned 7 months old on March 26.  I maintain my youthful glow through a combination of diet (puppy chow and chewing on smelly sneakers) and exercise (I like to grab socks from the laundry basket and then Tracy chases me through the house to get them back).

What’s it like to sleep at Tracy’s feet while she writes her popular syndicated humor column Lost In Suburbia? Are you her real inspiration?

As a puppy, I have a lot of energy. So I find it hard to just sleep at her feet when she is writing. Instead, I’m inclined to jump up and pound the keys with my paws. This makes her column look like this:

afjkasdkfjweoi tjkrvms,d mas,c.kasjfakjfoipewj!!

For some reason, Tracy seems to find this very annoying.  However, I’ve read her column, and i think this is an improvement. Just kidding.  That’s a little retriever humor. […]

Advice You Know You Want It

27 Feb

 

Who needs advice from Dear Abby or Oprah

when everyone has their two cents worth?

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk ...

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

WTH HERE’S MINE 😀

  • Don’t hire a life coach who doesn’t have a life – or at least a nice dog.
  • Never go to the grocery store at noon on a Monday – it’s such a good time for a lemon cleanse anyway – not.
  • If you insist upon racing snowboards or motorcycles – make sure you have health insurance and someone to drive you to your doctor’s appointments for five months.
  • If you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen – don’t cook. Order take-out.
  • Remember – menopause passes, but male mid-life crisis is forever. […]

Got Milk?

15 Feb

 

IMG_1790

 

True or False?

“Men won’t buy the cow if the milk is free.”

Duh! True –  if he’s lactose intolerant.

With “A Little Valentine’s Day Straight Talk: Young women in college need to smarten up and start husband-hunting

Susan Patton has raised important issues regarding young women, men, marriage, and happiness.

Nina Bahadur makes good points in her response in The Huffington Post

Interesting opinion from a man “Susan Patton Told The Truth” by James Taranto

Alexandra Petri has a hilarious take in The Washington Post

Before we become sucked up by and scarred from the intellectual “Mommy Advice Wars” cat fight –

How about changing the question… “Will women buy the cow if the milk is free?” […]

7 Signs Your Cats and Dogs Are Gifted

1 Feb

 

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” […]

Scruffles

13 Sep

 

The Princess & The Peeve

BarbBestBalloon

 

Dwayne Dear,

 

Must I remind you? In our Sole Custody Agreement dictated by the SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, I (the plaintiff and “the mother”) KARLA FLICKER KLIMPFER, beat you (the defendant and “the father”) like a monkey’s brass drum.

 

As the Primary Residential Custodial Parent and the parent entitled to receive feline support on behalf of  “SCRUFFLES,” I would like to bring to your attention the following pressing issues.

 

The court reinstated your visitation rights on alternate weekends of months beginning with an “M” and ending with a “Y.”  Don’t be late.

 

It is important to remember that Scruffles’ nutritionist insists on “Fancy Pants Pussy” Steamed Wild Alaskan Salmon in a champagne consomme. Scruffles and her litter coach will know if you try and pass off those cheapo generic kibbles again. […]