Barb Best

Mother’s Day is soon.

Forget the sappy lace cards, the lazy texts, the half-baked brunches, and the lame flowers!

How ’bout a cutting edge gift from the gut that your badass mom can really enjoy?

7 Mother’s Day Gifts for Badass Moms

• Matching tattoos. What a great bonding experience for Mommy and the little ones. Yes, there will be tears, but this is your legacy. How sweet!  You and your kids will flash the same toxic ink image for the rest of your lives.

• A trip to the archery range. Nothing says “Urgent Care” like a bow and arrow in virgin hands. Who needs a Glock 43 when you are adept with lethal projectiles? You’ll score a bullseye to Mom’s heart with this thoughtful gift.

[…]

Giraffe

Tall tale or tall tail?

It’s a zoo out there

For reasons unknown, I recently visited a zoo.

The highlight was visiting the Masai giraffes.

There was a family of three – Michael, Betty Lou, and Parker. Yup, they had names, but not name tags.

For an extra eight bucks, you could “Get up close and personal with the tallest residents of the Zoo! Hand feed Masai giraffes and have the experience of a lifetime.”

I was too late (and too cheap) to make feeding time,

BUT I discovered that the real show is not feeding the giraffes – it’s hanging with them after they dine. […]

As far as I’m concerned, it’s always time for chocolate and coffee.

Krispy Kreme

and a Total Solar Eclipse?

Sounds like an excuse to partay!

I’m ready. And I’m going to the dark side.

“Dark” as in…

coffee and chocolate, of course.

[…]

With Mother’s Day coming up, I have qualms.

English: Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The mother of all my Mother’s Day qualms?

Should we tell our children what we really want?

“Sure, honey. This is what I’d love. Here’s my list. Get crackin’!”

• A round-trip, first class, all expenses paid vacation to Bora Bora
• A spa week in Provence, champagne included
• Pay off my mortgage
• A gaggle of grandchildren
• Lifelong 24-7 tech help
• A ruby red Maserati Gran Turismo Convertible

[…]

My First 100 Days

Enough about Trump. Here’s what I did in my first 100 days.  Whaaa!

• Exited my mother’s womb with a ton of fanfare. Actually, it was a bloodbath. Pretty gross. Extremely exhausting for Mom and me. Couldn’t wait to get cleaned up and grab a nap. Whew.

• Cried. There’s lots of crying in the first 100.

• Slept, mostly in spurts of a few hours here, a few hours there. Similar to how I do now.

[…]

Happiness and Comedy

“Every bad or good thing can be turned into something funny.”

                                                                                                       – Daniel (student)  

Sue Stephenson

Educator, author, and Certified Laughter Leader Sue Stephenson believes in the power of laughter.

Seriously! She is helping students find their inner comedian. She is bringing fun to the classroom. She is using comedy in schools to promote literacy, well being, and mental health.

The Happiness at School™ project

is the innovative school program using stand-up comedy that former principal Sue created and co-developed with comedians Kyle Woolven and Marc Hallworth […]

School

Back

to

school fun

Here’s a book your kids will want to read…

Find Your Funny: The Humor Survival Guide

For Ages 12 and Up

• Learn how to develop a robust sense of humor
• Empower yourself with the positivity of humor
• Enjoy physical, psychological, emotional benefits of laughter

After all, who doesn’t want more laughter in their life?

Available on Amazon HERE

Related articles

• Getting serious about funny: Psychologists see humor as a character strength
• is Humor A Character Strength? | BIZCATALYST 360°

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LOOKING for a FUN movie?

LOOK no further than Disney’s “Alice Through the Looking Glass” – the sequel to the blockbuster film “Alice in Wonderland.”

The combo of live-action and animation, exciting visual effects, adventure, surreal set design, fun characters, and lighthearted wordplay creates an amusing entertainment that’s hard to resist.

Screenwriter Linda Woolverton (Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, Homeward Bound, Alice In Wonderland, Maleficent) crafted an intriguing tale (loosely based on Lewis Carroll’s book “Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There”) featuring a strong, independent Alice and your favorite witty characters from “Alice in Wonderland.”

You’ll love the clever humor, plus the puns and quips about “time.”

“Alice Through the Looking Glass!” is like a fun party we’re all invited to…

now, that’s my cup of tea 🙂 […]

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

[…]

I’ve got a great CPA for you.

Comic Performance Artist that is.

Meet Danny Donuts!

Seriously, how can you not love a guy named Danny Donuts? […]