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Cookie Controversy – Toss Those Cookies

26 Aug

Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!

What you ask?

Nuclear proliferation, injustice, human trafficking, belly fat?

Yes, but also…

The “Limited Edition” Swedish Fish Oreo Cookie

Barb Best Humor

 

Misguided on so many levels

A cookie is not a collector’s item. […]

Stress Relief Tips for the Slightly Miserable

13 Aug

 

I feel your pain.

Barb Best Humor Stress-Relief Tips

Stress and anxiety are rampant.

Millions of Americans are experiencing “voter stress.”

Many of our fellow citizens are plagued by horrifying “OMG! Summer is almost over!” panic attacks. At our local schools, grief counseling will be offered to all students and teachers in dealing with this tragedy.

Cats everywhere are tormented by “whisker fatigue” and “feline acne” caused by eating from  non-ergonomic feeding bowls.

I ask you… is there no end to the agony and suffering?

7 Quick Stress-Relief TIPS

  • Get yourself a “support monkey” – seriously, what could be more fun? A barrel of support monkeys?

[…]

Summertime Blues: Heat Stroke from Deep Summer Thoughts

4 Aug

 

Do you have the summertime blues?

Are you feelin’ the heat – or worse yet – the humidity?

Have you been out in the scorching summer sun too long?

 

Summertime Blues

 

Deep Summer thoughts while contemplating the sand between my toes

  • Do we really need Canine Intelligence Tests? This doggie competition has gone too far – I saw a “My Border Collie is smarter than your Cocker Spaniel” bumper sticker on a tricycle. Can’t we all agree? Dog breeds… they are ALL gifted.

[…]

Why I Haven’t Responded to Your Email in 2 Weeks

12 Jul

 

So much email, so little time.

Why Haven’t I Returned Your Email in 2 Weeks?

Procrastination is not personal.

Trust me. It’s not you, it’s me.

Sometimes it’s just difficult to conjure up the same sense of urgency to email responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching the Wimbledon finals.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails either 🙂

Other Reasons for My Slow Email Responses

  • Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.

 

  • Lost in the throes of a summer romance with frozen Yasso Greek Yogurt Coffee Chocolate Chip bars.

[…]

Summer Fun: You’re All Wet

1 Jul

 

Summer Fun = Playing in Water

 

Summer Fun: You're All Wet

Credit: iStock

 

A few thoughts on Water Fun

 

  • The wacky noodle water toy is neither an effective weapon nor a successful flotation device. However, it makes a tasty appetizer for sharks. BTW… you are the main course.

 

  • A life vest is not slimming.  If you wear one, you will resemble a pregnant marshmallow. However, it beats getting all wet and drowning in the ocean.

[…]

Expiration Dates on Food Labels Kill Me

10 Jun

 

Revised nutrition labels on food products are on their way. They will feature urgent sugar warnings 🙁

Okay, fine. BUT… there’s a larger problem with food labels…

Barb Best Humor Blog

 

The microscopic expiration dates stamped on food product labels and bottle caps!

WHO can read these?

Food Labels Expiration Dates

Can you read me? Can you read me now?

[…]

Fun? Are You FUN? A QUIZ

26 May

 

Are you any FUN?

FUNBarbBestHumor

Or are you too busy? Do you forget to be playful?

Gee, quizzes are really fun, don’t ya think?

This one’s for you.

True or False?

  • I do not whistle while I work. I do not whistle while I play. Heck, not even when I shower.

 

  • I enjoy shopping for athletic socks, Q-Tips, and emergency kits. Whoopee!

 

  • My dog won’t play with me. Apparently the snooty cat is more fun.

 

  • Sadly, I do not own a set of marshmallow roasting forks, let alone use them on a regular basis.

 

  • The only party I’ll go to is a pity party. And, yes I’ll cry if I want to.

 

  • My idea of a vacation is four days at the hospital for elective gall bladder surgery.

[…]

Bellyache: Guess Who Came To Dinner

13 May

 

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

 

Uninvited: Guess Who Came To Dinner

 

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

[…]

What I Learned This Week

21 Apr

 

We are always learning – perhaps not always remembering – but always learning.

I learned some interesting things this week that I will share with you.

I go through the pain so you don’t have to 🙂

BarbBestHumor

 

  •  It’s a bad sign when your husband keeps a jug of antifreeze and an eye dropper in the kitchen.  Hint: Get a food tester. (Forensic Files)

 

  • When flying, your carry-on luggage should never weigh more than twice your body weight – unless you are on steroids.

 

  • It can be very expensive to wait for a flight out of McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. Flashing slot machines are as enticing as the seductive aroma of Cinnabon.

[…]

NEW BOOK: FIND YOUR FUNNY – for Ages 12 & UP

14 Apr

 

For ages 12 & UP…

Meet your new BFF – a friend with physical, psychological, and social benefits.

FIND YOUR FUNNY: The Humor Survival Guide for Teens

Find Your Funny Book Barb Best

 

Written by Joanne Jackal, PhD, a psychotherapist who used to be a stand up comedienne

AND

moi, a comedy writer who likes to joke around with her inner teen.

How fun is that?

Available on Amazon: full-color paperback edition

The e-book http://amzn.to/22v2OCC

Find Your Funny: The Humor Survival Guide for Teens 🙂