Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!
7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work
You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system. A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.
~ Stay Home
You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.
~ Stay Home
You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.
Wood-inspired flooring Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
You don’t have the new iPhone and you never will.
Neo-tribal tattooing
Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos, and plant-based faux cheese burgers. Hold the fries. Better yet, hold your nose.
Don’t gulp your food. Chew it 22 times before swallowing, especially if it’s a chunky smoothie.
Warning: Don’t run with scissors, X-ACTO knives or chainsaws. If you must run, run away from the wolves.
Caution: “He/She/They/Prefer not to identify with any gender” who laughs last… and needs the joke explained to “Him/Her/Them/They/Prefer not to identify with any gender“… may be suffering from a concussion. Consult a doctor or Google.
Among other things, life is a full-time job. Nice work if you can get it – even if it doesn’t always pay well.
Sooner or later, we all have this medical procedure done.
My thoughts
My colonoscopy
At least I get to lie down for awhile. I could use a nap. Too bad it takes an invasive medical procedure and an I.V. propofol drip to cop a snooze. Michael Jackson, I feel your pain.
The slit in the back of this gown is rather stylish. Perhaps a new fashion trend? Maybe the holes in jeans are in the wrong places.