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Comedy Videos: I See Funny Women

3 Sep

Comedy Videos: I See Funny Women

Comedy Videos:  I See Funny Women

Laughter for Today, Tonight, Tomorrow… an antidote to the news.

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo

 

After 50 You Just Stop Caring

Can you relate?

Karen Morgan

 

You’re Starting to Agitate Me

Classic funny!

Karyn Ruth White

 

******

Celebrating the Life of Beloved Humorist & Speaker Jeanne Robertson

August 29, 2021 memorial service

Patrick Henry – “Jeanne was elegant, graceful, wickedly funny.”

“Her favorite thing was working on new material.”

“As long as it was tasteful, Jeanne would do anything to make people laugh.”

 

 

Jeanne Robertson on YouTube

Over 16 million views on this video!

 

 

R.I.P. Jeanne 

 

Absolutely Fabulous: Funniest Movie of the Summer!

 

Aging? You’re So Old You Probably Think This Joke Is About You

1 Aug

Aging? You’re So Old You Probably Think This Joke Is About You

Aging?

You don’t feel old, but do you act old?

 

jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’re as old as you act.

 

If the Joke Fits – Laugh!

 

  • Do you really need a park bench to sit on when taking a shower?

[…]

Face Masks Unused: Fun Things to do With Them!

1 Jul

unused face masks fun

You may still be wearing a face mask or not, but you likely have a bunch of unused ones sitting around.

And by a bunch I mean hundreds.

Time to clear the Covid clutter!

Repurpose those annoying fashion accessories.

unused face masks fun

 

 

Unused Face Masks: Fun Things to do With Them!

 

  • A stylish bikini bottom
  • Eye patch – you’re never too old to play pirate
  • A yamake that won’t blow off, “Look bubbe, no bobby-pins”
  • Butt floss
  • Cat toy
  • Makes a soft slingshot for the meek – no rocks, tearless contact with a projectile
  • A covid memory quilt consisting of all my stylish pandemic masks – call me sentimental 🙂
  • Contemporary art mobile

unused face masks fun

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • A gag for boomer Uncle Harry and his idiotic political rants
  • Just in case, you’re planning to rob a bank… a generic mask with no identifying personal info is recommended.

FACE IT

Save your unused masks for Covid variants and, of course, the next pandemic 🙁

SMILE 🙂

To-Do: A List for the Listless

5 Jun

To-Do: A List for the Listless

JUNE To-Do List

Thank you Covid.

You have taught us patience.

A year of delayed gratification, postponements and chronic procrastination has created a to-do list longer than the pandemic itself.

The Short List

June Humor

BIG MANICURE

 

 

 

Footsie

An entire year without a pedicure.

The horror!

You know it and I know it.

It’s damn time for a serious exfoliating foot treatment.

June humor

 

Bon Voyage

Vaccinated. Caffeinated. Ready to roll!

We are itchin’ to travel.

A niggling case of wanderlust has been eating away at our weary souls as we have settled for Netflix binges, web surfing and mediocre take-out food.

Doesn’t have to be a Mediterranean cruise, a first-class flight to Paris or a month on a private yacht.

You’ll settle for a road trip to Grandma’s condo or the local beach.

 

June Humor Clear Clutter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smart Phone

In the past year, you’ve built up digital clutter on your cell phone like pounds around your middle.

Time to cut and clear.

Lighten the megabyte load.

June chocolate humor

Yum Yum

Lastly, don’t forget to plan for your tombstone inscription.

Don’t forget to choose a snazzy font.

Sweet!  A woman In Utah had her headstone engraved with her fudge recipe.

Who says you have to stop sharing after you die?

 

 

June Gloom: 50 Shades of L.A. Gray

Wine: Ruminations from the Bottom of a Glass of Rose´

Professional Reader

 

 

 

 

 

Freedom: My Dream Job is a Remote Job

1 May

My Dream Job is A Remote Job

Yippee Yay!

Now that I’m working my forever dream job remotely from home…

I am free!  Free at last!

Riding the Freedom Choo-choo

While collecting a chunky paycheck

And maintaining my life work play goof off balance.

 

Dream Job remote Humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now That I Work Remote I Can…

 

  • Breastfeed my toddler twins fifteen times a day – each!  Ouch. Ouch.

 

  • Reach Level 8500 of Candy Crush Saga.  And you thought Skittles and M & M’s were addicting?

 

  • Score a load of laundered moolah in bitcoin trades. Too late?

 

  • Be a crypto consultant, day trader and night owl. Never too late.

 

  • Learn to play the saxophone while pretending to be in boring business meetings. So cool 🙂

 

  • Cook gourmet lunches for friends and family. Yum Yum.

 

  • Take my diva cat for lengthy acupuncture treatments and manicures while “working.” Wink, Wink!

 

  • Meet the neighbors. Why not?

 

  • Nap whenever I want! Like right now.

 

  • Have sex all day. They don’t call it Zoom for nothing.

 

  • Save money on gas, wheels, personal grooming and a presentable wardrobe.  I may look homeless, but I’ll be rich.

 

  • Every day, I can ditch the heels, Spandex and bra and wear my comfy clothes. Highly conducive to napping.

 

  • Experiment with acid and magic mushrooms before my annual job review.  Helps to focus? On what?

 

  • Go on vacation somewhere, anywhere, anytime.  The real goal!

 

Dream On!

 

BarbBestHumorBlog

Available on Amazon

Work & Retirement: All You Really Need to Know

April Pain: Reason to Complain

2 Apr

April Pain

On a scale of 1 to 10, where is yours?

 

Pain reason complain

Pain is Relative

Nobody has no pain. Not even a sea sponge or a nitrous oxide enthusiast.

Constant stress from styrofoam cling-on… a 2?

A nagging concern about proper toe alignment… a 1?

Cardiac surgery… a 10!

Childbirth… an 11!

A paper cut from a past due snail mail bill… a 5?

Personally, I worry that it’s wicker bag season. I hate wicker. It cannot compete with calfskin, cotton canvas or nylon as an accessory… a 2?

I love a Ceasar salad, but croutons annoy. They lack character. They either try too hard or not enough… a 3?

Perspective

Pain is subjective, but so is pleasure and joy.

Covid-19 pandemic, lockdown hell, illness and death… 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 +

My arm hurts – not from the shot – but from logging onto numerous websites for days, weeks, months trying to nail an appointment for the vaccine… not even a 1.

Scientists seek ways to finally take real measure of pain…

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2019-01-scientists-ways-real-pain.html

 

JUST IN TIME!  APRIL IS NATIONAL HUMOR MONTH 🙂

 

I Feel Your Pain

National Humor Month

Survey This: Are Surveys A Pet Peeve of Yours?

1 Mar

Customer Service

And the survey says…

we hate surveys!

Survey Pet Peeve

 

Too many questions!

Too many urgent requests for mindless opinions.

Are we all so famished for feedback?

Lengthy surveys for every inconsequential product and service.

Screens of redundant questions on minute aspects of a minor service or product.

Who cares?

You had a 15-second interaction on a phone call with our service representative “Urina” regarding

a delivery of Acme Paper Clips and a survey is emailed, texted and dropped on your head by a drone four

minutes later.

Surveys Pet Peeve

 

 

 

 

Rate Your Experience 🙂

a) Did Urina solve your problem? Not your big problem (you seem to have so many), but your product issue with Acme Paper Clips.

b) Was she/he/? at least friendlier than most of your friends and family members?

c) In the call, did you suspect bad breath? Bad vibes? A mood disorder?

d) Did Urina explain – in simple terms that the average Golden Retriever can understand – the technology involved with your issue?

e) Would you recommend our company Acme Paper Clips to other clueless customers who feel lost when navigating the paperclip world?

f) Would you spend five minutes of your precious life to write a pithy 5 Star review for us on Instagram, Facebook, Yelp, Twitter and Dogpile?

Gee, thanks! This saves us a boatload of money on advertising fees and – guess what – no need to hire a marketing team.

And the survey says…

Resembling Tina Fey helps! Winning!

Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

3 Jan

Friends: Our Dubious Achievements of 2020

While contemplating goals and intentions for the new year 2021 (yawn),

I asked pals, “What have I and/or you accomplished in 2020?”

 

Dubious Achievements friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prolific artistic output?  A thick, juicy novel ripe with creative breakthroughs?

A slew of wonderful new paintings — like 83 year old David Hockney?

After a totally non-scientific study and truly shallow analysis…

Ta Da!

[…]

Pandemic Fatigue OR a Three-Month-Old Feral Baby?

1 Dec

Pandemic fatigue has set in

According to the World Health Organization (WHO as in Dr. Who) pandemic fatigue is expressed by demotivation in adhering to “protective” orders, hopelessness and alienation.

Baby boomers, Millennials, Gens X, Y and Zers – all ages suffer from this malady.

Ironically, it causes exhaustion from not doing stuff.

We are tired of this.

Rumor has it PF is more contagious than Covid itself.

Regression Anybody?

 

Pandemic fatigue humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

A QUIZ FOR YOU

Are You Suffering from PF OR Are You A Three-Month-Old Feral Baby?

 

  • I wear stained clothes everyday.
  • I take five naps a day.
  • I suck my shirt sleeve and gaze into the abyss.
  • I startle and screech when the dog barks.
  • I bawl my brains out uncontrollably for no apparent reason.
  • I let a few big, stinky ones rip while I drink my lunch.
  • I vomit my breakfast in the car on the way to pick up an antidiarrheal and a crate of Chux.
  • I curl up in a fetal position and grab my feet.
  • I suck my toes.
  • I babble to the cat.
  • I suck my fingers and stick them in the nearest electrical outlet.
  • I cry for mommy. I cry for daddy. I cry for the Amazon Prime delivery person.

 

pandemic fatigue humor
laughing pandemic fatigue humor
Pandemic fatigue humor

If you answered “No” to  1-12 questions, you’re a baby! Goo Gaa!

If you answered “Yes” to  1-12 questions, you have a bad case of PF AND you’re a big, fat baby!

Either way, you will grow stronger from this nightmare and smile someday.

Pandemic fatigue sucks.

HO HO HO!!!

IT’S DECEMBER – DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR MASK of JOY IS?

THE ONLY SELF-HELP GUIDE YOU WILL NEED FOR THE NEW YEAR!

THE MISERY MANIFESTO – A MONTH-TO-MONTH SURVIVAL GUIDE

 

Kindle e-book and paperback
https://amzn.to/3lr4Wf5

 

Holidays: ‘Tis the Season to Survive the Stress

Bored at Home? Fresh Ideas to Banish Boredom

2 Oct

Banish boredom at home

Are People Dying of Boredom?

Due to Covid, we are (duh) spending a helluva lot more time at home.

Surprise! Many people tell me they are dying of boredom.

To put it bluntly, they are in a rut.

 

Banish boredom at home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cambridge Dictionary

World-Weary

Someone who is world-weary is not enthusiastic about anything, often because they have had too much experience of a particular way of life.

 

Boredom is Dumb

What am I doing to pass the time? To keep intellectually stimulated, emotionally engaged and (more or less) awake?

Oh, and not bored.

A few examples:

 

  • Installing a wine window in my home office. Salut!

 

  • Experimenting with at-home mole removal. Ouch.

 

  • Teaching my pet duck to straighten up and fly right. What can I say, he has issues.

 

  • Tweaking that decadent rum cinnamon pecan caramel bun recipe. Practice makes perfect.

 

Bored at Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Woo hoo! Going craft crazy. Etsy beware! Don’t miss my elegant skeleton nipple jewelry and my one-of-a-kind pumpkin glitter art decoupage. Busy hands are happy hands.

 

  • Giving Fitbit a run (actually a walk) for its money. Come all, join the Fitbit cult of Stepford spouses. Ho hum Step, Ho Hum Step, Ho Hum Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz…

 

  • Toilet training the cat. So what if he’s nine years old? It’s never too late to embrace baseless optimism.

 

Banish boredom at home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Can’t be Bored While Laughing

 

 

 

World Weary

 

 

Dedicated to the Year 2020

 

Home Stuck Home? 7 Really FUN Things to Do Really!