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Stress Relief Tips for the Slightly Miserable

13 Aug

 

I feel your pain.

Barb Best Humor Stress-Relief Tips

Stress and anxiety are rampant.

Millions of Americans are experiencing “voter stress.”

Many of our fellow citizens are plagued by horrifying “OMG! Summer is almost over!” panic attacks. At our local schools, grief counseling will be offered to all students and teachers in dealing with this tragedy.

Cats everywhere are tormented by “whisker fatigue” and “feline acne” caused by eating from  non-ergonomic feeding bowls.

I ask you… is there no end to the agony and suffering?

7 Quick Stress-Relief TIPS

  • Get yourself a “support monkey” – seriously, what could be more fun? A barrel of support monkeys?

[…]

Why I Haven’t Responded to Your Email in 2 Weeks

12 Jul

 

So much email, so little time.

Why Haven’t I Returned Your Email in 2 Weeks?

Procrastination is not personal.

Trust me. It’s not you, it’s me.

Sometimes it’s just difficult to conjure up the same sense of urgency to email responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching the Wimbledon finals.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails either 🙂

Other Reasons for My Slow Email Responses

  • Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.

 

  • Lost in the throes of a summer romance with frozen Yasso Greek Yogurt Coffee Chocolate Chip bars.

[…]

Expiration Dates on Food Labels Kill Me

10 Jun

 

Revised nutrition labels on food products are on their way. They will feature urgent sugar warnings 🙁

Okay, fine. BUT… there’s a larger problem with food labels…

Barb Best Humor Blog

 

The microscopic expiration dates stamped on food product labels and bottle caps!

WHO can read these?

Food Labels Expiration Dates

Can you read me? Can you read me now?

[…]

Fun? Are You FUN? A QUIZ

26 May

 

Are you any FUN?

FUNBarbBestHumor

Or are you too busy? Do you forget to be playful?

Gee, quizzes are really fun, don’t ya think?

This one’s for you.

True or False?

  • I do not whistle while I work. I do not whistle while I play. Heck, not even when I shower.

 

  • I enjoy shopping for athletic socks, Q-Tips, and emergency kits. Whoopee!

 

  • My dog won’t play with me. Apparently the snooty cat is more fun.

 

  • Sadly, I do not own a set of marshmallow roasting forks, let alone use them on a regular basis.

 

  • The only party I’ll go to is a pity party. And, yes I’ll cry if I want to.

 

  • My idea of a vacation is four days at the hospital for elective gall bladder surgery.

[…]

Bellyache: Guess Who Came To Dinner

13 May

 

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

 

Uninvited: Guess Who Came To Dinner

 

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

[…]

Meet Danny Donuts, CPA

4 May

 

I’ve got a great CPA for you.

Comic Performance Artist that is.

Meet Danny Donuts!

 

Danny Donuts CPA

 

Seriously, how can you not love a guy named Danny Donuts? […]

National Humor Month

1 Apr

 

No joke!

April is National Humor Month.

It’s a great month for the inspiring and fun Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, the premier workshop for humor writers. It is held at Erma’s alma mater, The University of Dayton. I was honored to be a judge in their writing competition this year. How cool is that?

There’s a lot of funny out there!

Also, April is a perfect time for AATH – the Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor to hold their annual conference.  Info here

AATH’s mission is to serve the community of professionals who study, practice, & promote healthy humor & laughter. Lots of laughter, learning, and love with this group. […]

Food 4 Thought: Who’s Hungry?

10 Mar

We sit too much. We’ve got to stand for something, don’t you agree?

Barb Best Humor

For instance*

I am con chile con carne. Don’t want to feel the burn.

I am pro prosecco. Loving the bubble tickle.

From England. Best thing since light-up tweezers! Prosecco gummies […]

7 Smart-Ass TIPS: How to Avoid Cognitive Overload

1 Mar

Cognitive overload – it can happen to you.

BarbBestHumor

According to (who else?) Wikipedia

“In cognitive psychology, cognitive load refers to the total amount of mental effort being used in the working memory.”

Mental effort requires serious labor, and if overdone – your head will explode.

Too much on your mental plate?

7 TIPS to Avoid “The Big O” – Brain Overload

[…]

My Thoughts While Trying To Meditate

19 Feb

 

Meditate or Medicate?

 

BarbBestHumorOM

 

OM…

Did I set my iPhone alarm for this session?

OM…

Who knew breathing could be so complicated?

OM…

Paul McCartney can come to my party anytime.

OM…

I bet my cat would enjoy a loofah massage sometime. […]