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Sweet Holidays: Death by Fruitcake

15 Dec

Happy Holidays!

Want to die doing what you love?

How about overindulging in the irresistible holiday treats that are ubiquitous this time of year?

Four out of five sugar addicts agree – holiday food is the best way to go.

Death by fruitcake humor blog

 

Fruitcake

Like ukelele music, you either love fruitcake or you hate it.

There are at least two ways to die via fruitcake. […]

May I Suggest a New Hobby?

2 Dec

May I suggest a new hobby?

 

New Hobby Barb Best Humor

 

These are a few hobbies I’m seriously considering…

Sleep Eating

Sleep can be oh so boring, so what better way to liven it up? Go on a groggy 2:00 a.m. binge with a banana bundt cake or a bucket of fried chicken – all without the guilt. Sleep eating combines two of my favorite activities… sleeping and eating!

Competitive dog grooming

It’s also pet therapy. Everyone gets a sloppy kiss. Also a few bites and scratches. […]

How To Have A Homicide-Free Holiday

22 Nov

 

Thanksgiving with the family?

We all agree a homicide-free holiday is nice.

Don't talk Politics

MY TIPS

  • Don’t talk politics.

 

  • Respect your family members’ feelings… even if they are obviously stupid, illogical, and batsh*t crazy.

 

  • Don’t talk politics.

[…]

Sleep is for the Single-Minded: Zzz

4 Nov

Sleep, where art thou?

 

ZZZZ! Sleep is for the Single

Photo Credit:Barb Best

 

Why can’t you sleep?

ZZZ!

Help me please, I barely sleep a wink

And three a.m. is no time to think,

Could it be restless feet or something dumber

Forcing me to lose my beauty slumber? […]

Comedy and Cancer: What’s So Funny?

21 Oct

Cover of "Cancer Schmancer"

Cover of Cancer Schmancer

Comedy and Cancer

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Here are a few funny and empowering books, plays, TV series, and movies that promote humor and comedy when battling cancer.

Tig Notaro

Stand-up comedian and writer survived breast cancer and a double mastectomy.

“Hello, I Have Cancer.” […]

Stressed? 5 Reasons YOU Are Stressed Out

14 Oct

You are stressed out. You are worried. You are miserable.

You are not alone 😀

Barring a terrorist attack, cataclysmic global economic collapse, or tainted Halloween candy, October is usually a fairly innocuous month.

But not this October.

 

Stressed?

Squeeze!

Reason #1. Did you notice? UGH. It’s an election year.

[…]

Back to Work: 7 Distractions You Really Can’t Ignore

21 Sep

7 Distractions We Can’t Ignore!

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on work when this important stuff is on your mind…

Barb Best Humor Distractions

  • Prepping my porch for fall

 

  • Harvest decor… why?

 

  • Gurgling intestinal sounds, mine and others

 

  • My body double has fallen and she can’t get up

[…]

Cookie Controversy – Toss Those Cookies

26 Aug

Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!

What you ask?

Nuclear proliferation, injustice, human trafficking, belly fat?

Yes, but also…

The “Limited Edition” Swedish Fish Oreo Cookie

Barb Best Humor

 

Misguided on so many levels

A cookie is not a collector’s item. […]

Stress Relief Tips for the Slightly Miserable

13 Aug

 

I feel your pain.

Barb Best Humor Stress-Relief Tips

Stress and anxiety are rampant.

Millions of Americans are experiencing “voter stress.”

Many of our fellow citizens are plagued by horrifying “OMG! Summer is almost over!” panic attacks. At our local schools, grief counseling will be offered to all students and teachers in dealing with this tragedy.

Cats everywhere are tormented by “whisker fatigue” and “feline acne” caused by eating from  non-ergonomic feeding bowls.

I ask you… is there no end to the agony and suffering?

7 Quick Stress-Relief TIPS

  • Get yourself a “support monkey” – seriously, what could be more fun? A barrel of support monkeys?

[…]

Why I Haven’t Responded to Your Email in 2 Weeks

12 Jul

 

So much email, so little time.

Why Haven’t I Returned Your Email in 2 Weeks?

Procrastination is not personal.

Trust me. It’s not you, it’s me.

Sometimes it’s just difficult to conjure up the same sense of urgency to email responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching the Wimbledon finals.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails either 🙂

Other Reasons for My Slow Email Responses

  • Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.

 

  • Lost in the throes of a summer romance with frozen Yasso Greek Yogurt Coffee Chocolate Chip bars.

[…]