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How To Have A Homicide-Free Holiday

22 Nov

 

Thanksgiving with the family?

We all agree a homicide-free holiday is nice.

Don't talk Politics

MY TIPS

  • Don’t talk politics.

 

  • Respect your family members’ feelings… even if they are obviously stupid, illogical, and batsh*t crazy.

 

  • Don’t talk politics.

[…]

Sleep is for the Single-Minded: Zzz

4 Nov

Sleep, where art thou?

 

ZZZZ! Sleep is for the Single

Photo Credit:Barb Best

 

Why can’t you sleep?

ZZZ!

Help me please, I barely sleep a wink

And three a.m. is no time to think,

Could it be restless feet or something dumber

Forcing me to lose my beauty slumber? […]

Comedy and Cancer: What’s So Funny?

21 Oct

Cover of "Cancer Schmancer"

Cover of Cancer Schmancer

Comedy and Cancer

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Here are a few funny and empowering books, plays, TV series, and movies that promote humor and comedy when battling cancer.

Tig Notaro

Stand-up comedian and writer survived breast cancer and a double mastectomy.

“Hello, I Have Cancer.” […]

Stressed? 5 Reasons YOU Are Stressed Out

14 Oct

You are stressed out. You are worried. You are miserable.

You are not alone 😀

Barring a terrorist attack, cataclysmic global economic collapse, or tainted Halloween candy, October is usually a fairly innocuous month.

But not this October.

 

Stressed?

Squeeze!

Reason #1. Did you notice? UGH. It’s an election year.

[…]

Back to Work: 7 Distractions You Really Can’t Ignore

21 Sep

7 Distractions We Can’t Ignore!

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on work when this important stuff is on your mind…

Barb Best Humor Distractions

  • Prepping my porch for fall

 

  • Harvest decor… why?

 

  • Gurgling intestinal sounds, mine and others

 

  • My body double has fallen and she can’t get up

[…]

Cookie Controversy – Toss Those Cookies

26 Aug

Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!

What you ask?

Nuclear proliferation, injustice, human trafficking, belly fat?

Yes, but also…

The “Limited Edition” Swedish Fish Oreo Cookie

Barb Best Humor

 

Misguided on so many levels

A cookie is not a collector’s item. […]

Stress Relief Tips for the Slightly Miserable

13 Aug

 

I feel your pain.

Barb Best Humor Stress-Relief Tips

Stress and anxiety are rampant.

Millions of Americans are experiencing “voter stress.”

Many of our fellow citizens are plagued by horrifying “OMG! Summer is almost over!” panic attacks. At our local schools, grief counseling will be offered to all students and teachers in dealing with this tragedy.

Cats everywhere are tormented by “whisker fatigue” and “feline acne” caused by eating from  non-ergonomic feeding bowls.

I ask you… is there no end to the agony and suffering?

7 Quick Stress-Relief TIPS

  • Get yourself a “support monkey” – seriously, what could be more fun? A barrel of support monkeys?

[…]

Why I Haven’t Responded to Your Email in 2 Weeks

12 Jul

 

So much email, so little time.

Why Haven’t I Returned Your Email in 2 Weeks?

Procrastination is not personal.

Trust me. It’s not you, it’s me.

Sometimes it’s just difficult to conjure up the same sense of urgency to email responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching the Wimbledon finals.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails either 🙂

Other Reasons for My Slow Email Responses

  • Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.

 

  • Lost in the throes of a summer romance with frozen Yasso Greek Yogurt Coffee Chocolate Chip bars.

[…]

Expiration Dates on Food Labels Kill Me

10 Jun

 

Revised nutrition labels on food products are on their way. They will feature urgent sugar warnings 🙁

Okay, fine. BUT… there’s a larger problem with food labels…

Barb Best Humor Blog

 

The microscopic expiration dates stamped on food product labels and bottle caps!

WHO can read these?

Food Labels Expiration Dates

Can you read me? Can you read me now?

[…]

Fun? Are You FUN? A QUIZ

26 May

 

Are you any FUN?

FUNBarbBestHumor

Or are you too busy? Do you forget to be playful?

Gee, quizzes are really fun, don’t ya think?

This one’s for you.

True or False?

  • I do not whistle while I work. I do not whistle while I play. Heck, not even when I shower.

 

  • I enjoy shopping for athletic socks, Q-Tips, and emergency kits. Whoopee!

 

  • My dog won’t play with me. Apparently the snooty cat is more fun.

 

  • Sadly, I do not own a set of marshmallow roasting forks, let alone use them on a regular basis.

 

  • The only party I’ll go to is a pity party. And, yes I’ll cry if I want to.

 

  • My idea of a vacation is four days at the hospital for elective gall bladder surgery.

[…]