Barb Best

Are you a worry wart?

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

• Ebola growing in my Brita filter

• Pumpkin spice is back with a vengeance.

[…]

Testing… 1 – 2 – 3… Testing

There is available at-home genetic testing for likely traits such as cilantro aversion, earwax type (wet? dark-colored? sticky? Gross!), photic sneeze reflex (whatever that is), asparagus odor detection, and unibrow.

Seriously, do you need a DNA test to confirm your hair color (unless you actually can’t recall your original color) or remind you that you can smell asparagus in your pee?

Traits We Really Want To Know If We’re Carrying

• Smart Ass gene
• Propensity to drown in credit card debt
• Pathological Liar
• Lucky in love

[…]

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]

Technology is amazing.

Timesaving.

Stimulating.

Empowering.

Entertaining.

Seductive.

BUT…

• Must you count every step you take? Fascinating at first, mundane after a week.

• Do you desire a smart house? If you want to be surrounded by a superior intelligence – get a cat!

• Seriously… do you need a motion-activated, glowing LED illuminated toilet seat?

[…]

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

Anti-Anxiety blankets for adults are all the rage.

They come in varying weights – heavy and heavier.

They are advertised as being the solution to all of your problems with insomnia, anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, chronic back pain, red velvet cupcake cravings, extreme couponing, and the bovine blues.

Plus, they are more FUN than a strait jacket!

However

If for some reason, your weighted blanket doesn’t calm you, but instead causes sleep paralysis or nightmares that you’re being suffocated by a colossal beanbag…

Eureka!

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

1. Functions as a saddle when giving young children horsey rides or for your own equine pleasure with consenting adults.

2. Great for muscle toning. Pump like barbells. It’s never too early to fend off osteopenia, pop a neck vein, or jerk yourself a hiatal hernia.

[…]

Are you having a bad day?

Or a good 24 hours?

Classic Judith Viorst children’s book

Two Months of Bad Days

According to a recent study (don’t you hate recent studies?)

The average American has two months of ‘bad days’ every year.

60 days!

This is darn near one-sixth of your entire year.

Let us define… “A Bad Day”

“My wireless went out for five minutes and I panicked. It wasn’t pretty. ”

“I had to wait in line for ten minutes at Starbucks for my afternoon Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato. I thought I’d die.” […]

5 Reasons You Are Anxious and Depressed

#1  You just gave birth

You are supremely grateful for this amazing blessing from God, however…

you feel you did not receive a worthy “push present.”

http://vst.to/Ai7cAMY

Have you noticed that L.A. celebs (like wild magpies) love shiny objects?

#2  Freaky Leaky Gut

You ate the whole thing.

[…]

LUCKY?

YOU?

Yup.

Here’s why you are lucky this week:

* You haven’t been sucked into an MRI machine.

Man Dies After Being Sucked Into An MRI Machine via @IFLScience:

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-dies-after-being-sucked-into-an-mri-machine  […]

Love thy neighbor – but NOT their posts on the online Neighbor Chatline

RECENT POSTS

Noise!

It is like awesome that we have this community chat group to share our feelings. Peace, love and friendship to all.

Imagine my consternation when lounging on my balcony this morning, enjoying the gentle rays of the sun, sipping my artisinal chai tea…

… when an eardrum-piercing racket made my breakfast ritual – let alone any silent prayer and meditation – impossible.

My emotional support chicken was traumatized. This is wrong, as it is my job to be traumatized. […]

Holidays

The holidays are upon us

Yay! and Ugh!

‘Tis the season to be harried

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

‘Tis the season to be melancholy

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Do You Have Exploding Head Syndrome YET?

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