Alligators and Social Distancing: Advice for the Ages
15 May
Social Distancing with Alligators – A Little Advice
“Laughter may be the closest distance between two people
BUT
the shortest distance between two people and an alligator is
no laughing matter.”
May 1 – A tipsy woman dies in a fatal gator attack while attempting to get up close and personal with the big boy.
You know the instructions on plastic bags (“This is not a toy”) and boxes of mothballs (“Not a snack. Do not eat”)?
Perhaps alligators need a large flashing neon sign around their necks – “Caution! Do not cuddle!”
Close to You
While extreme social distancing with Granny, Pops, Mom, the cranky neighbor next door, and (of course) your teenager – hey, why not gators, too?
See you later (how about never) alligator
Happy Hour can turn from “Fun to F*#!ed” faster than potato salad at a picnic in the park.
Do people have to be told?
- Don’t drink and dive into a swamp – or try to pet an alligator.
- Swimming is excellent exercise, but not when you’re being eaten by an alligator.
- Please no selfies with ravenous reptiles!
MATING SEASON
- How sweet… do you think I’m sexy?
- I have great teeth, don’t I? Like my smile?
- I’ll take you do dinner. That Corgi on the long leash looks tasty.
- Maybe a terrible two’s foot for brunch tomorrow?
- Or a seasoned senior enjoying a chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc?
Fudging the numbers
Be careful reaching for that golf ball
Woman attacked while playing golf
See You Later Alligator… Or Is It Crocodile?
https://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-a-Crocodile-and-an-Alligator
I’ll see you on Twitter and Facebook and Pinterest and Goodreads and – who knows – in your dreams or my dreams 🙂
