Barb Best

LIfe Hacks for April National Humor Month

You know you need them!

Live a Better Life Already

7 Trendy Tips to Up Your Game

• How to get a pedicure when you’re wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet (and not electrocute yourself).

• Using duct tape on pimples and fever blisters. (Don’t worry that you’ll never get it off)

• Diet tips to motivate you and your fat dog. (Does not involve duct tape)

• Take a power nap in the refrigerator. Boosts metabolism. Increases zest for life (and brain freeze).

• Learn 501 ways to tie a scarf. Renews creativity. (Includes 499 ways you’ll never wear)

• For sugar cravings, suck on mint dental floss. (Surprisingly satisfying if you’re on a 3-day fast)

• Did you know? In a pinch, dental floss doubles as a cuticle clipper. (Impress your fancy friends at a dinner party with this life hack)

Want more joie de vivre? Join us on Twitter and Pinterest 🙂

Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

Mindless Thought For The Day: LIFE IS…

March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like.

– Garrison Keillor

The third month of the year.

It’s not winter.

It’s not spring – and it’s definitely not summer.

March is many things. It is NOT a day at the beach.

Hail Caesar

Beware the Ides of March.

It should be on antidepressants.

It’s a gruelling time defined by spring cleaning, facing your dreaded taxes, springing ahead yet losing an hour, clearing the emotional and physical clutter and cobwebs of winter. It has all the warmth of a broken kite. […]

Cheer Up!

A noxious mood state is a nice place to visit, but you don’t want to live there all winter.

Experiencing the arctic vortex or a rash of flash flooding and mudslides can put the sunniest of us souls in a sour mood.

Musings

We all agree – watching the news is about as much fun as chewing on foil. […]

Minimalism: A few thoughts

First, the word “minimalism” – for God’s sake, it’s 10 letters and 5 syllables!

Why the #&!# not a shorter word…

… for a concept and practice that embodies simplicity and “less?”

If you are one hot mess short of being a certified hoarder, minimalism may be the answer.

What Is Minimalism?

It’s a thriving movement. It promises the average packrat “joy” through simplicity.  […]

There are many lessons to be learned when evacuating from an active wildfire zone.

Wildfire

“Wind’s in the East…mist coming in.

Like something is brewing, about to begin.

Can’t put my finger…on what lies in store, but I fear what’s to happen all happened before.”

– Bert in Mary Poppins

Breathe

Remember to breathe!  But only with a N95 respirator mask so you can screen out hazardous gases such as carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, acrolein, and random farts.

Soot happens. You’ll likely resemble Dick Van Dyke as Bert the chimney sweeper in Mary Poppins.

[…]

Look for the Helpers

Photo Credit: By Dr. François S. Clemmons – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41429120

Mr. Rogers had good advice…

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'”

YO!

Often, these special people will seek you out.

They will take you in, comfort you, and shower you with kindness, generosity, and love. […]

I need a fitbit for my brain, not my feet

We have fitness trackers that measure steps taken, miles logged, territory traversed.

Wearable technology enables us to monitor and access a vast world of valuable information.

For instance, a tracker will tell us if we’re a slacker when it comes to physical exercise.

That’s dandy, but…

Why not a tracker for our brain activity?

I want to track my daily thoughts, ideas, creative bursts, flights of fancy, feelings, dreams, and left brain vs. right brain activity.

How about measuring memories made and recovered?

Daily monitoring of moods and musings?

Instead of steps, how ’bout depths? Concepts? […]

Are you a worry wart?

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

15 Things I’m NOT Worried About… Yet

• Ebola growing in my Brita filter

• Pumpkin spice is back with a vengeance.

[…]

Testing… 1 – 2 – 3… Testing

There is available at-home genetic testing for likely traits such as cilantro aversion, earwax type (wet? dark-colored? sticky? Gross!), photic sneeze reflex (whatever that is), asparagus odor detection, and unibrow.

Seriously, do you need a DNA test to confirm your hair color (unless you actually can’t recall your original color) or remind you that you can smell asparagus in your pee?

Traits We Really Want To Know If We’re Carrying

• Smart Ass gene
• Propensity to drown in credit card debt
• Pathological Liar
• Lucky in love

[…]

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]