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Colonoscopy: Thoughts While Waiting for One

15 Aug

Thoughts While Waiting for a Colonoscopy

Sooner or later, we all have this medical procedure done.

humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My thoughts

My colonoscopy

 

  • At least I get to lie down for awhile. I could use a nap. Too bad it takes an invasive medical procedure and an I.V. propofol drip to cop a snooze. Michael Jackson, I feel your pain.

 

  • The slit in the back of this gown is rather stylish. Perhaps a new fashion trend? Maybe the holes in jeans are in the wrong places.

 

  • The Cleanse Colon Prep – they should market it as a weight loss diet. I must have lost 7 pounds yesterday.  Paleo Phooey!

 

  • So many hoses – or are they tubes? Ugh.  New meaning to YouTube.  NO way – I am NOT subscribing to the Colonoscopy Channel!

 

  • Jeez, I could use a good drink.

 

  • If I look down and see large red shoes on any of these “medical providers” – I AM OUT OF HERE!  NO SH*T!

 

  • I cannot fathom why some (older) folks actually dress up for a doctor’s appointment, let alone a medical procedure focused on the rectum. Then again, maybe I’m just a contrarian slob entrenched in California Casual.  Flip Flops Forever!

 

  • This can’t hurt more than the prep. It’s probably why they make the prep such a nightmare. Maybe give us propofol for the prep?

 

Alert Bracelets for The Rest of Us

Neighbors to Love: 7 Posts from Next Door

19 Jul

Love Thy Neighbors

Like family, we don’t choose them.

Neighbors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A wonderful neighbor is a blessing and a friend.

A crazy neighbor is a curse from hell.

nosy neighbors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[…]

News to Amuse: Weird, Wonderful and Wild

7 Jun

Weird & Wonderful NEWS from Around the World

Pain-free News: Isn’t that all we ask?

Medical Fluke

Woman who feels NO PAIN is scientific marvel…
https://tiny.iavian.net/s0vx

But she can still complain if she feels like it.

[…]

Shop ’til You Drop, Buy ’til You Cry

24 May

Shop ’til You Drop, Buy ’til You Cry

Is the Consumerism vs. Minimalism dilemma naggin’ at your noggin?

Shop 'til you drop, Consumer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After all, there is so much stuff, yet so little time, money, and space.

Is consumer debt dragging you down?

Stuff

Are you drowning in stuff?

Do you dream of a dumpster rental to solve your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mess?

Are you feeling compelled to tidy up?

Dying to spark joy? […]

Life Hacks for April National Humor Month

29 Mar

LIfe Hacks for April National Humor Month

You know you need them!

National Humor Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live a Better Life Already

7 Trendy Tips to Up Your Game

  • How to get a pedicure when you’re wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet (and not electrocute yourself).

 

  • Using duct tape on pimples and fever blisters. (Don’t worry that you’ll never get it off)

 

  • Diet tips to motivate you and your fat dog. (Does not involve duct tape)

 

  • Take a power nap in the refrigerator. Boosts metabolism. Increases zest for life (and brain freeze).

 

  • Learn 501 ways to tie a scarf. Renews creativity. (Includes 499 ways you’ll never wear)

 

  • For sugar cravings, suck on mint dental floss. (Surprisingly satisfying if you’re on a 3-day fast)

 

  • Did you know? In a pinch, dental floss doubles as a cuticle clipper. (Impress your fancy friends at a dinner party with this life hack)

 

April National Humor Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want more joie de vivre? Join us on Twitter and Pinterest 🙂

Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

Mindless Thought For The Day: LIFE IS…

March the Month: Do you Feel the Joy?

1 Mar

March the Month: Do you Feel the Joy?

March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like.

– Garrison Keillor

March the Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The third month of the year.

It’s not winter.

It’s not spring – and it’s definitely not summer.

March is many things. It is NOT a day at the beach.

Hail Caesar

Beware the Ides of March.

It should be on antidepressants.

It’s a gruelling time defined by spring cleaning, facing your dreaded taxes, springing ahead yet losing an hour, clearing the emotional and physical clutter and cobwebs of winter. It has all the warmth of a broken kite. […]

Winter Cheer Up! Observations from the Abyss

14 Feb

Winter Cheer Up! Observations from the Abyss

Cheer Up!

A noxious mood state is a nice place to visit, but you don’t want to live there all winter.

Experiencing the arctic vortex or a rash of flash flooding and mudslides can put the sunniest of us souls in a sour mood.

Winter Cheer Up! Observations from the Abyss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Musings

We all agree – watching the news is about as much fun as chewing on foil. […]

Minimalism: Does it Spark Joy or Oy?

17 Jan

Minimalism: A few thoughts

First, the word “minimalism” – for God’s sake, it’s 10 letters and 5 syllables!

Why the #&!# not a shorter word…

… for a concept and practice that embodies simplicity and “less?”

Minimalism: Joy or Oy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are one hot mess short of being a certified hoarder, minimalism may be the answer.

What Is Minimalism?

It’s a thriving movement. It promises the average packrat “joy” through simplicity.  […]

Lessons: Evacuating from an Active Wildfire Zone

30 Nov

There are many lessons to be learned when evacuating from an active wildfire zone.

Wildfire

“Wind’s in the East…mist coming in.

Like something is brewing, about to begin.

Can’t put my finger…on what lies in store, but I fear what’s to happen all happened before.”

– Bert in Mary Poppins

Dick Van Dyke Barb Best

 

 

Breathe

Remember to breathe!  But only with a N95 respirator mask so you can screen out hazardous gases such as carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, acrolein, and random farts.

Soot happens. You’ll likely resemble Dick Van Dyke as Bert the chimney sweeper in Mary Poppins.

[…]

Helpers: Woolsey Fire Victims Look for the Helpers

15 Nov

Look for the Helpers

Malibu Strong Mr Rogers Helpers

Photo Credit: By Dr. François S. Clemmons – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41429120

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Rogers had good advice…

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'”

YO!

Often, these special people will seek you out.

They will take you in, comfort you, and shower you with kindness, generosity, and love. […]