So much email, so little time.

Why Haven’t I Returned Your Email in 2 Weeks?

Procrastination is not personal.

Trust me. It’s not you, it’s me.

Sometimes it’s just difficult to conjure up the same sense of urgency to email responses than I have for, say, attending a family funeral or watching the Wimbledon finals.

I know you understand ’cause you haven’t returned my emails either 🙂

Other Reasons for My Slow Email Responses

• Memory clutter. Hiring a cleaning crew to come in and dust my dendrites.

• Lost in the throes of a summer romance with frozen Yasso Greek Yogurt Coffee Chocolate Chip bars.

[…]

In a perfect world…

You would not celebrate your birthday at a trendy Euro-Asian restaurant touted for it’s delicious, yet healthy dishes and end up in the emergency room 9 hours later with food poisoning. You would not require an I.V.with anti nausea, anti diarrhea, anti pain meds to stop the total body torture.

In a perfect world…

You would not cook that special recipe for the in-laws – Quinoa Masala Royale – using infected organic vegetables. Later that evening, our family members would not all coincidentally experience unbearable abdominal cramps normally associated with childbirth. After all, you are a lousy cook, but not that lousy.

In a perfect world…

Our food would make us well, not sick.

[…]

How did we survive without the internet?

And boy, were we dumb in 1994!

Hilarious…

Heck. We not only have the internet. We have Twitter!

Comment & Connect with me there @HaBarb

Cheese – soft, semi-soft, firm, hard – is the black sheep of the food pyramid.

Admittedly, I never met a brie, blue, or Asiago I didn’t adore.

From The L.A. Times by Jenn Harris “Cheese Really Is Crack – Study Reveals Cheese Is As Addictive As Drugs”

Blame it on opiates, dopamine receptors, and our lust for pizza. […]

In honor of September, National Yoga Month.

Let’s all breathe, bend, stretch…

Totally Enlightened is a quirky satire written by and starring “Yoga Rebel” Tara Stiles.

Yoga is the new black. Namaste and Ouch.

This is a message (heh, a threat you say?) from me, your imperious cat.

CATastrophe

Planning on leaving me (your cherished feline pet) at home while you go on a business trip or (how dare you) a fancy vacation is a provocation at best, and, at worst, an act of war.

    Do I look pleased?

May I remind you… Actions have consequences! […]

Dick Van Dyke, 89, is still the charmer.
 

Check out this music video he and his wife Arlene appear in…

THE DUSTBOWL REVIVAL – FEATURING DICK VAN DYKE – “NEVER HAD TO GO”

If you’re a fan of his classic hit sitcom –

You’ll LOVE this, too:

“THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW” BLOOPERS AND OUTTAKES

THANK YOU SO MUCH for subscribing to “I Feel Your Pain!” and reading it on Alltop.com and on Facebook.    YOU are the BEST!

Related articles across the web

• Dick Van Dyke Dances Up A Storm With The Dustbowl Revival In New Video
• Dustbowl Van Dyke

Why does everything have to be a competition?

• No kidding! We now have competitive bubble wrap popping.

Yes, there’s video below from WSJ.

• We have competitive cooking shows like Chopped and The Next Food Network Star on the Food Network.

• Of course, we have eating competitions. No longer limited to hot dogs and cherry pies at the summer fair. Competitive eating has gone pro. It is a collegiate sport. Organized gluttony as an entertainment event.

[…]

Welcome, y’all!

This is the weekly meeting of HA – Humorholics Anonymous.

Hmm, I see many horrified new faces here tonight.

No fear. We have enough caffeine and sugar on the back table to put you in a coma – and most likely fuel some new addictions. Ha, Ha.

Sorry, I  joked in a compulsive way. I’m working on that. […]

Tis the season to give!

Laughter is a gift.

So give this YouTube video a view… it’s free and you can re-gift it by sharing with others.

Anne Flournoy is the writer, director, and producer of The Louise Log.

Winner Outstanding Writing in a Comedy – LA WebFest 2014!

According to Wikipedia, “The webseries The Louise Log is a comedy dealing with “the confessions of a New York City wife and mother hell-bent on getting it right in spite of … her over-active inner voice.”

A hilarious inner voice!
http://www.thelouiselog.com/

Favorite Moments Making Ellen Laugh on The Ellen Show