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Scruffles

13 Sep

 

The Princess & The Peeve

BarbBestBalloon

 

Dwayne Dear,

 

Must I remind you? In our Sole Custody Agreement dictated by the SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, I (the plaintiff and “the mother”) KARLA FLICKER KLIMPFER, beat you (the defendant and “the father”) like a monkey’s brass drum.

 

As the Primary Residential Custodial Parent and the parent entitled to receive feline support on behalf of  “SCRUFFLES,” I would like to bring to your attention the following pressing issues.

 

The court reinstated your visitation rights on alternate weekends of months beginning with an “M” and ending with a “Y.”  Don’t be late.

 

It is important to remember that Scruffles’ nutritionist insists on “Fancy Pants Pussy” Steamed Wild Alaskan Salmon in a champagne consomme. Scruffles and her litter coach will know if you try and pass off those cheapo generic kibbles again. […]

Funny Videos

26 Jun

 

“JUNE GLOOM” is still here.  I dare you not to laugh at these 3 videos!

 

You’ll LOVE filmmaker Anne Flourney – The Louise Log!

http://thelouiselog.com/ […]

7 Things Your Cat Won’t Tell You

20 May

 

Cats… too cool for canine drool.

BarbBestPhotoCredit

 

 

 

 

 

What your cat won’t tell you:

1 –  Geez. Brush your teeth before you breathe in my face.  BTW you snore like a Sumo wrestler.

2 –  I am an extremely sensual, mystical being – an INFP* to be exact – so deal with it.

3 –  Don’t give me canned tuna and say it’s Wild Alaskan Salmon. I wasn’t weaned yesterday. 

4 –  “Talk to the Tail” means “Talk to the Tail!”

5 –  Sometimes you piss me off so I pee in your cozy pair of sheepskin slippers. I don’t get angry. I get even.

6 –  The one with the Purr Power in the relationship is the one with the “I love you less. Perhaps I’ll tolerate you occasionally!”  attitude.

7 –  Don’t… ever… ask… me… if… I… want… a… dog. Not even a puppy. Get real.

* Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

The Difference Between Cats & Dogs by Molly D. Campbell

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I Feel Your Pain

10 Jul

July is National Boredom Month, and so I celebrate boredom. Come on, cultivate your ennui.

And may the force be with you.

BarbBestHumorBlog

Arrrgh!

If you are feeling bored lately, here are 7 HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS to shake ya outta that weary funk:

 

1.   READ A BOOK.  WTF why not – How ’bout a clever book about boredom?

ANATOMY OF BOREDOM – Boredom: A Lively History by Peter Toohey (via BrainPickings!)

 

2.   PLAY OLD SCHOOL SCRABBLE – or a “bored game” of your choice – ‘TIL YOUR EYES BLEED or ‘TIL NOBODY IN YOUR FAMILY IS SPEAKING TO YOU.

 

BarbBest

 

3.    Catch up with the 21st century. Go electronic with Scrabble Flash.

 

4.   DRINK, preferably with friends (FB friends don’t count) and when in a jolly mood. Wine away.

PhotobyBarbBest

 

5.   Join a club. Hmmm, here’s one!

 

7.   HIT the “celebrity news.” Reading about how bored senseless Paris Hilton and/or Lindsay Lohan are – with all their money, glam, beauty, youth, personal assistants, movie star friends, toys, talents, trainers, and resources – will help you focus on your own blessings…

like “Thank God, I can’t afford a cocaine habit,” or “Good thing I don’t have to worry about totaling my Porsche Carrera 997 S,” or “Darn, I don’t have anything to wear to my court appearance today.”

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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Weekend Funny 5

22 Jun

You’ve run out of bare skin on your awesome bod, so – guess what – it’s time for Fido and Fluffy to get inked – oh, yeah – Pets with tattoosBARBBEST

Why can’t everyday be Take Your Dog To Work Day – June 22, 2012

“Renaissance Man” (and banjo player) Steve Martin has a new CD  SteveMartinBarbBest

Why are cats so funny?

CAT video – playing piano

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Weekend Funny 5

8 Jun

Check out this terrific writer! Darlene Sneden * Adventures of a Middle Age Mom She has a piece in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Married Life!

 

You think YOU are having a bad hair day? How To Be Totally Miserable by Anne Hathaway  Les Miserables  

 

12 Most Hilarious Seinfeld Episodes by Brad Shorr      (Posted by on May 30, 2012)

 

An Ivy League rap video by comedienne Nicki Muller

 

HA, HA, HA, MEOW!

 

 

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New Year’s Heave

30 Dec

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain

Barb'sBlastHumorBlog

Take a deep breath (in and out)

Then indulge in an unreality break before the new year is upon us like mayo on rye.

Put your feet up,

Sit a spell,

Enjoy a cat video or two…

Life is short (time challenged)

You only have one while kitty has nine!

Happy New Year!

Barb Best Humor

Mum Cat Video 4 Million Views +

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Hairy Christmas!

21 Dec

Has your dog “Snippy” had his photo taken with Santa yet?

Has he sat on Santa’s lap and communicated his heartfelt wants?

According to the L.A. Times, an Associated PressPetside.com poll shows 52% of pet owners plan to buy their animals a holiday gift — up from 43% last year.

Your cat “Snots” may insist she only wants world peace for Christmas, but I recommend you have a bag or two of her favorite 90 proof catnip snaps on hand just in case.

I’ll bet Snippy’s been a really good boy. (We’ll forget about the four sticks of margarine he ate off the kitchen counter yesterday afternoon. Guess his next big gift to you will come already wrapped… I can’t believe it’s not butter!)

Have you bought him a paw-shaped holiday stocking full of candy cane raw hides?

Or a cute, stuffed toy to sleep with and/or rip to pieces?

He may appreciate some fashionable apparel this season. Leopard tees and red turtlenecks are quite handsome – especially on the less dignified breeds.

Snippy will surely enjoy a spa treatment with honey shampoo, tingling chocolate mint conditioner, spray-on detangler and a much needed teeth whitening.

Ever floss a Rotweiller?  (I didn’t think so…)

Hey Fluffy, why not some Botox to go along with those precious pink bows?

A gift certificate for an acupuncture session is a thoughtful gift for the pooch who barks incessantly. You will enjoy it, too.

If puppy seems stressed all the time, why not enlist a therapy dog for him?

It’s the gift that keeps giving.

After all, aren’t ALL dogs therapy dogs?

Memo from the cat:
It’s a wonderful time to donate to local animal welfare organizations and/or adopt a pet!!!

* We wish you a hairy Christmas * We wish you a hairy Christmas *

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Let There be Light

6 Dec

“Popular Science” doesn’t have to be an oxymoron.
Exciting, entertaining, and even sexy news emerges daily from the bright world of scientific innovation. For instance:
From The Washington Post – How to de-stress law school students before exams?  Puppies!
Equal time for cats (or cat scans) of course.

Here’s a fish that must be low in calories. What is an x-ray fish, you may ask?  Why, here is a brief description: ehow.com

“Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heartbeat?”
“A new study shows that 3-month-old infants and their mothers can synchronize their heartbeats to mere milliseconds.”

ScienceShot: Human Hearts Beat Together  by Meghan Rosen  http://bit.ly/vbQLmX

Saved the best for last.  Here’s a HOT news flash:

>>  CLICK RIGHT HERE  <<

Enlightening article from Time Magazine:

OR HERE http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/01/first-3d-movie-of-orgasm-in-the-female-brain/?xid=newsletter-weekly

HERE’S A GOOD SPOT, TOO.

Photo credits: x-ray fish (forum.rpg.net) and puppy (wikimedia commons)

Enhanced by ZemantaFunny Or Die – Cats with hats http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/690d