Barb Best

Happy Holidays

Holidays and stress go together like eggnog and rum, like millennials and artisanal creameries, like politicians and lying.

Deck the halls with boughs and blabber
‘Tis the season to be grumpy,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tis the season to be jumpy,
Ha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

A new study published in the British Medical Journal claims that your risk of heart attack is greatest on Christmas Eve and the following two days.

An excerpt from The Misery Manifesto,

the month-by-month survival guide…

Available on Amazon

December * Holidays Are A Pain In the Aspirations

You’d like peace and quiet for the holidays. You want to relax. You want to stop and inhale the roses. You’re sadly optimistic on this count. […]

There are many lessons to be learned when evacuating from an active wildfire zone.

Wildfire

“Wind’s in the East…mist coming in.

Like something is brewing, about to begin.

Can’t put my finger…on what lies in store, but I fear what’s to happen all happened before.”

– Bert in Mary Poppins

Breathe

Remember to breathe!  But only with a N95 respirator mask so you can screen out hazardous gases such as carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, acrolein, and random farts.

Soot happens. You’ll likely resemble Dick Van Dyke as Bert the chimney sweeper in Mary Poppins.

[…]

Are You Still Kidding Me?

Ever finish your kid’s homework? Netflix cheat on your husband? Try to explain Alexa to your mother?

If so, you’re not alone—Stacey Gustafson’s back at it again with Are You Still Kidding Me?

Highly Relatable Stories

In this hilarious and heartwarming sequel to her #1 Amazon bestseller Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives, Gustafson tackles the foibles of modern family life—from toddlers and teens to empty nesters—with wry wit and plenty of humor.

The Self-Care You Crave

Grab a cup of coffee, ease into the easy chair, and be prepared to laugh out loud along with Stacey—she may not be your new best friend, but you’ll feel like she is by the time you’ve finished these forty-five stories of family life, written by a mother who’s seen it all.

Your New BFF

Stacey Gustafson

[…]

Too much reading or watching the news is hazardous to your health.

Too much information, too much commentary will surely make you ill.

There should be a warning label on TV remotes:

“Watching TV cable news can be dangerous to your health.”

Forget opioid addiction – news junkies are now checking into rehab centers by the scores.

Take a break from breaking news!

Before your head explodes,

may I suggest some pleasure reading? […]

GOOD NEWS!

Please welcome our little bundle of book joy. We have a second edition.

Find Your Funny: The Humor Survival Guide 2nd Edition

Available just in time for summer reading that is fun and helpful

For ages 12 and up – and for adults who are young at heart

ON AMAZON 

“The quintessential book on the importance of humor in our lives.”

– Larry Wilde, New York Times Best Selling Author of How The Great Comedy Writers Create Laughter and Great Comedians Talk About Comedy

****

“The activities are creative and playful. The information is amusing and transformative. This isn’t a “Have To” book. This is a “Want To” book.”

– Jim Winter, Educator & Founder of Wavelength. Inc.

2nd Edition

Paperback version with black and white illustrations

Special price $9.99

On Amazon exclusively 

CLICK HERE 

Thank You!  Enjoy the Summer!

SO Happy to be on this new list of FUNNY BLOGS!

Thank You!

FUNNY BOOKS

Hilarious! Look Alive Out There: Essays by Sloane Crosley

On Amazon https://amzn.to/2GEdJqu

Have you read it yet?

See you on Twitter!

Are you having a bad day?

Or a good 24 hours?

Classic Judith Viorst children’s book

Two Months of Bad Days

According to a recent study (don’t you hate recent studies?)

The average American has two months of ‘bad days’ every year.

60 days!

This is darn near one-sixth of your entire year.

Let us define… “A Bad Day”

“My wireless went out for five minutes and I panicked. It wasn’t pretty. ”

“I had to wait in line for ten minutes at Starbucks for my afternoon Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato. I thought I’d die.” […]

5 Reasons You Are Anxious and Depressed

#1  You just gave birth

You are supremely grateful for this amazing blessing from God, however…

you feel you did not receive a worthy “push present.”

http://vst.to/Ai7cAMY

Have you noticed that L.A. celebs (like wild magpies) love shiny objects?

#2  Freaky Leaky Gut

You ate the whole thing.

[…]

Book

I loved Gretchen Rubin’s latest book The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too). I listened to the audiobook version – it is fascinating!

Expectations

The Four Tendencies provides a framework to identify in ourselves – and others – how we are inclined to respond to expectations. The tendencies are Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel.

La La La

Recently, I attended a production of Carmen with three friends – a Questioner, an Obliger, and an Upholder. Like most comedic saps, I am a Rebel. […]

SUBJECT: Playing Hooky  Goofing Off  Planned Absences

TO:  Kyle Flicker

General Manager

Misery Productions

Los Angeles, CA

Dear Mr. Flicker,

I’d like to share with you a few bulls*!t excuses I’ve concocted for my impending absences from work.

• My life coach insists I have a minimally invasive craniotomy done this Saturday. This is scheduled after my boozy, trans fat-laden brunch and before a round or two of miniature golf with the neighborhood children. Chances are I’ll be gaga on opioids for a few days. Trust me. You won’t want me anywhere near the company spreadsheets.

• I’m celebrating “Cinnabon Day” and the Krispy Kreme “Buy a Dozen, Get a Dozen Free” promotion. This religious observance should take me several days to participate in and to recover from. If you’d like further documentation from my gastroenterologist or spiritual advisor, please let me know.

[…]