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No Kidding! 5 Reasons You Are Anxious and Depressed

1 Mar

5 Reasons You Are Anxious and Depressed

#1  You just gave birth

You are supremely grateful for this amazing blessing from God, however…

you feel you did not receive a worthy “push present.”

http://vst.to/Ai7cAMY

 

push present

Have you noticed that L.A. celebs (like wild magpies) love shiny objects?

 

#2  Freaky Leaky Gut

You ate the whole thing.

[…]

New Year 2018: Questions & Concerns

3 Jan

Happy New Year!   May this year be your BEST ever 🙂

 

2018HappyNewYear

 

Questions & Concerns

What is weighing heavy on your mind this new year?

So many issues of substance and style – must the world be so worrisome?

 

New Year 2018: Questions and Concerns

My Nagging Questions & Concerns

 

  • Flannel bedding – why such a controversial issue?

[…]

The Holidays! Do You Have Exploding Head Syndrome?

14 Dec

Holidays

The holidays are upon us

Yay! and Ugh!

The Holidays are Here Barb Best

 

‘Tis the season to be harried

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

‘Tis the season to be melancholy

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Holiday Humor Barb Best

 

Do You Have Exploding Head Syndrome YET?

[…]

Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies & the Opera Carmen

15 Nov

Book

I loved Gretchen Rubin’s latest book The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too). I listened to the audiobook version – it is fascinating!

Expectations

The Four Tendencies provides a framework to identify in ourselves – and others – how we are inclined to respond to expectations. The tendencies are Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel.

La La La

Recently, I attended a production of Carmen with three friends – a Questioner, an Obliger, and an Upholder. Like most comedic saps, I am a Rebel. […]

Cell Messages I Missed Because My Signal Dropped Out

25 Oct

Cellphones and Signals

Reaching me via cell – the expectations are way too high!

8:15 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, (cough) (cough) will you give me a ring when you get a chance? Thank you.”

 

9:25 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, would you mind driving honey? I don’t feel like driving. (laughter) Would you mind? Um, I’m trying to see if 12:00 is a good time for us to leave. No, not leave here, I mean just to get there. Um, what’s the traffic? I wonder if you’ve been out yet? You haven’t been out yet, have you? Okay, give me a call when you get this. Thank you, dear. Bye.”

 

10:42 a.m.

voicemail

“Hi Barb, I’ve been trying to reach you. (strained laughter) Is your phone ringing or what? Um… I figure we should leave around twenty-five after ’cause it takes a little while to go through the park up there… if that’s okay with you (thru teeth) sweetheart.

Okay, I’ll talk to you when you get home.” CLICK.

[…]

Don’t Laugh! I’m In Clown Love: Puddles Pity Party

12 Oct

Puddles Pity Party

What’s not to love?

 

[…]

Giraffe Drinking Habits: A Tall Zoo Tale

28 Sep

Giraffe

Tall tale or tall tail?

It’s a zoo out there

For reasons unknown, I recently visited a zoo.

The highlight was visiting the Masai giraffes.

BarbBestZooGiraffeHumor

 

There was a family of three – Michael, Betty Lou, and Parker. Yup, they had names, but not name tags.

For an extra eight bucks, you could “Get up close and personal with the tallest residents of the Zoo! Hand feed Masai giraffes and have the experience of a lifetime.”

I was too late (and too cheap) to make feeding time,

BUT I discovered that the real show is not feeding the giraffes – it’s hanging with them after they dine. […]

Chocolate Krispy Kreme & Coffee: My Eclipse Party

17 Aug

As far as I’m concerned, it’s always time for chocolate and coffee.

Krispy Kreme

and a Total Solar Eclipse?

Sounds like an excuse to partay!

I’m ready. And I’m going to the dark side.

 

Krispy Kreme Chocolate Eclipse

“Dark” as in…

coffee and chocolate, of course.

[…]

Dear Boss: 7 Reasons I’m Taking Friday and Monday Off

21 Jul

SUBJECT: Playing Hooky  Goofing Off  Planned Absences

TO:  Kyle Flicker

General Manager

Misery Productions

Los Angeles, CA

Dear Boss: Planned Absences

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Flicker,

I’d like to share with you a few bulls*!t excuses I’ve concocted for my impending absences from work.

  • My life coach insists I have a minimally invasive craniotomy done this Saturday. This is scheduled after my boozy, trans fat-laden brunch and before a round or two of miniature golf with the neighborhood children. Chances are I’ll be gaga on opioids for a few days. Trust me. You won’t want me anywhere near the company spreadsheets.

 

  • I’m celebrating “Cinnabon Day” and the Krispy Kreme “Buy a Dozen, Get a Dozen Free” promotion. This religious observance should take me several days to participate in and to recover from. If you’d like further documentation from my gastroenterologist or spiritual advisor, please let me know.

[…]

Sugar Crash: 7 Random Reflections Gleaned

7 Jul

 

Sugar

Life is sweet. And what’s more fun than a blood sugar crash at 3:00 a.m.?

Sleep Blood Sugar Crash

 7 Random Reflections Gleaned from My Nightly Blood Sugar Crash

  • Geez, my pancreas needs a fidget spinner.

[…]