Barb Best

Technology is amazing.

Timesaving.

Stimulating.

Empowering.

Entertaining.

Seductive.

BUT…

• Must you count every step you take? Fascinating at first, mundane after a week.

• Do you desire a smart house? If you want to be surrounded by a superior intelligence – get a cat!

• Seriously… do you need a motion-activated, glowing LED illuminated toilet seat?

[…]

Wine On!

Introspection does not come easy to some.

Since ancient times, women (especially) turn to vino while searching for deep thoughts.

After all, research has shown that drinking red wine helps you think. Trust me – something about increased blood flow to the brain.

So surely, the blush of resveratrol in Rose´wine aids in ruminating on life’s great issues.

Wine: Ruminations from the Bottom of a Glass of Rose´

• Unfortunately, joining a meal kit delivery service will not solve all of my time management problems.  Seems it takes a good deal of time to cook a real meal.

• I am both the travel agent and tour guide on my children’s guilt trips. Where’s my commission? My tip?

[…]

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

Anti-Anxiety blankets for adults are all the rage.

They come in varying weights – heavy and heavier.

They are advertised as being the solution to all of your problems with insomnia, anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, chronic back pain, red velvet cupcake cravings, extreme couponing, and the bovine blues.

Plus, they are more FUN than a strait jacket!

However

If for some reason, your weighted blanket doesn’t calm you, but instead causes sleep paralysis or nightmares that you’re being suffocated by a colossal beanbag…

Eureka!

Alternative Uses for your $350, 15 Pound Anti-Anxiety Blanket

1. Functions as a saddle when giving young children horsey rides or for your own equine pleasure with consenting adults.

2. Great for muscle toning. Pump like barbells. It’s never too early to fend off osteopenia, pop a neck vein, or jerk yourself a hiatal hernia.

[…]

Mother’s Day is soon.

Forget the sappy lace cards, the lazy texts, the half-baked brunches, and the lame flowers!

How ’bout a cutting edge gift from the gut that your badass mom can really enjoy?

7 Mother’s Day Gifts for Badass Moms

• Matching tattoos. What a great bonding experience for Mommy and the little ones. Yes, there will be tears, but this is your legacy. How sweet!  You and your kids will flash the same toxic ink image for the rest of your lives.

• A trip to the archery range. Nothing says “Urgent Care” like a bow and arrow in virgin hands. Who needs a Glock 43 when you are adept with lethal projectiles? You’ll score a bullseye to Mom’s heart with this thoughtful gift.

[…]

SO Happy to be on this new list of FUNNY BLOGS!

Thank You!

FUNNY BOOKS

Hilarious! Look Alive Out There: Essays by Sloane Crosley

On Amazon https://amzn.to/2GEdJqu

Have you read it yet?

See you on Twitter!

Happily Married?

15 Reasons You Want A Divorce

A happy marriage is a mystery to many.

                            Brainy Quote

Everything considered

when it comes to being happily married,

it’s the little things, isn’t it?

[…]

5 Reasons You Are Anxious and Depressed

#1  You just gave birth

You are supremely grateful for this amazing blessing from God, however…

you feel you did not receive a worthy “push present.”

http://vst.to/Ai7cAMY

Have you noticed that L.A. celebs (like wild magpies) love shiny objects?

#2  Freaky Leaky Gut

You ate the whole thing.

[…]

Happy New Year!   May this year be your BEST ever 🙂

Questions & Concerns

What is weighing heavy on your mind this new year?

So many issues of substance and style – must the world be so worrisome?

My Nagging Questions & Concerns

• Flannel bedding – why such a controversial issue?

[…]

Holidays

The holidays are upon us

Yay! and Ugh!

‘Tis the season to be harried

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

‘Tis the season to be melancholy

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Do You Have Exploding Head Syndrome YET?

[…]

Book

I loved Gretchen Rubin’s latest book The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too). I listened to the audiobook version – it is fascinating!

Expectations

The Four Tendencies provides a framework to identify in ourselves – and others – how we are inclined to respond to expectations. The tendencies are Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel.

La La La

Recently, I attended a production of Carmen with three friends – a Questioner, an Obliger, and an Upholder. Like most comedic saps, I am a Rebel. […]