Barb Best

Daylight savings time

Tick tock, tick tock.

Turn your clock back or is it forward?

Fall back, spring ahead, fall forward, spring back?

Daylight savings time is like kimchee – nobody seems to like it.

And yet there it is.

It’s fake time!

Even the dog and cat are confused by it.

Does anybody really know what time it is?

As if the pandemic hasn’t skewed your sense of time over these tedious months,

The powers that be shall now screw with your Circadian rhythm!

So much for your delicate sleep routine.

Your internal clock will be out of whack again.

There will be more darkness, less light.

Thank God for caffeine

Rhythm

How do I keep time?

I got rhythm!  I got caffeine! Who could ask for anything more?

Alarm Clocks are Evil and Sleep is Divine

Are People Dying of Boredom?

Due to Covid, we are (duh) spending a helluva lot more time at home.

Surprise! Many people tell me they are dying of boredom.

To put it bluntly, they are in a rut.

Someone who is world-weary is not enthusiastic about anything, often because they have had too much experience of a particular way of life.

Boredom is Dumb

What am I doing to pass the time? To keep intellectually stimulated, emotionally engaged and (more or less) awake?

Oh, and not bored.

A few examples:

• Installing a wine window in my home office. Salut!

• Experimenting with at-home mole removal. Ouch.

• Teaching my pet duck to straighten up and fly right. What can I say, he has issues.

• Tweaking that decadent rum cinnamon pecan caramel bun recipe. Practice makes perfect.

• Woo hoo! Going craft crazy. Etsy beware! Don’t miss my elegant skeleton nipple jewelry and my one-of-a-kind pumpkin glitter art decoupage. Busy hands are happy hands.

• Giving Fitbit a run (actually a walk) for its money. Come all, join the Fitbit cult of Stepford spouses. Ho hum Step, Ho Hum Step, Ho Hum Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz Step. Zzzz…

• Toilet training the cat. So what if he’s nine years old? It’s never too late to embrace baseless optimism.

You Can’t be Bored While Laughing

• Immersing oneself in The Complete Cartoons of The New Yorker  Laughter rules!

World Weary

Dedicated to the Year 2020

Home Stuck Home? 7 Really FUN Things to Do Really!

Social Distancing Pointers from Howard Hughes

Having trouble social distancing

being stuck at home

how ’bout

taking some grooming tips from

the eccentric, reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes –

you will not only be successfully distanced…

people will stay clear away from you!

Image Wikimedia Commons

DO IT LIKE HOWARD!

• Wash your hands 15 times a day – so what if you’re wearing gloves? You don’t need a pandemic to be Mr. Clean.

• Wear Kleenex box hats. Nothing like protective headgear to make you feel safe and sound. And much more stylish than a tin foil cap.

• Only bed busty actresses and only have sex with them once, then gorge yourself for months on their housekeeper’s baked goods – while they fantasize about marrying you and helping you handle your filthy millions.

Image Wikimedia Commons

• Grow foot-long, curly fingernails that put Elvira to shame.

• Don’t trim – or comb – your beard for a decade.

All in jest.

Books

Read these fantastic biographies of the genius Howard Hughes

Movies

ICYMI… here is a great movie about Howard Hughes

The Aviator (2004) Official Trailer #1 – Leonardo DiCaprio

Lighten Up!

In defense of kind-hearted humor

No kidding!

Sometimes a joke is just a joke.

And not a deliberate manipulation, power play, micro aggression, political attack or intended personal offense.

Image taken from a University of Alabama site, “Approaches to Modernism”: [1], Fair use

Funny

Sometimes a jest, a quip or a pun is not a Freudian slip – but merely a leap at silliness, a feeble attempt at levity, a verbal slide on a banana peel.

Like almost everything else in this imperfect world, sometimes comedy is really dumb,

but…

Laughter and Play

can bring people closer together and unite them.

Positive humor

Take a flight into whimsy,

a playful swing at fun,

a flirtation with optimism,

a respite from burdensome reality.

Laughter can be the best (if not the cheapest) medicine.

Learn more about applied and therapeutic humor…

The Association for Applied & Therapeutic Humor 

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The Humor Academy

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Free Laughs

I Started A Joke * Puddles Pity Party

BOOKS!

Perhaps some good reads will save us from the Summer of Slog.

So many books and so much time. Enjoy!

These books can be found on Goodreads and Amazon.

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

Comedy. Laughter. Humor.

Take as often as needed.

No costly doctor’s appointment – in the flesh or virtual – required.

No adverse side effects – not even the usual ones – nausea, headache, constipation, diarrhea, kleptomania, heart attack, tennis elbow, diarrhea, flat foot, droopy eye, dandruff, diarrhea and death.

And – best of all – you can’t overdose on laughter.

Great List ~ Best Comedies to Stream on Netflix ~ Mental Floss

If your time or attention span is short, just watch the trailers for some laughs.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/622691/best-comedies-to-stream-on-netflix

Classic Cat Mental Health Video

This video is especially funny during these days of isolation and existential angst.

You know you want to laugh.

“Comedy Tonight ” with Jason Alexander

A funny thing happened on the way to the pandemic. We maintained our sense of humor 😀

Humor links

https://www.barbbest.com/links/

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

Smiles To Go! The World Needs A Smile

Please support The Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor  and The Humor Academy 

Welcome to the April Fools Sh*t Show

OMG. A pandemic!

And you thought the worst thing about April would be paying your taxes?

In case we all missed it, National Humor Month is here.  Whoopee!

How to celebrate?

How ’bout a month of lock-down, confinement with family and pets (if you’re lucky), unparalleled gut-wrenching anxiety, and mindless navel gazing?

A Sh*tstorm

is “a very unpleasant or difficult situation.”

Ah, don’t you love British understatement?

Patience

Remember – “April showers hitting the fan may bring May flowers and nagging allergies.”

Amusement & Good News

It’s high time to add some amusement to the misery.

Check out John Krasinski and his Good News

Look, ma! Disney Amusement Park rides on YouTube! And no lines!

Be patient and don’t become a patient.

News to Amuse – 7 Items that Won’t Stress You Out

Air travel

Flying coach.

No leg room.

Narrow seats.

Contagions in the air.

You know you love it.

Bring all of your baggage, that is…

except your anxiety, impatience and negativity.

Leave home without them.

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7 New Realities of Flying

• Surgical masks shall be worn at all times – their single purpose being to spook the hypochondriac sitting next to you.

• Caution. Traveling with a pet under your seat in the cabin will not satisfy your need for in-flight entertainment. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Ear and nose plugs highly recommended.

• No matter how cute, your emotional support miniature horse is not permitted to give pony rides to toddlers in the aisle. Nothing interferes with the important business of mile-high soft drink and pretzel delivery. Not even a viral video opportunity.

• New FAA rule: All babies qualify as emotional support animals and shall fly for free.

• While slogging through security, there will be no joking! Especially about da bomb you are hiding in your oddly heavy carry-on bag.

• If you are a gentleman of advanced age and your prostate is the size of a giant lemon, please pay for an aisle seat. It’s unseemly for us to interrupt our Netflix binging and get up every fifteen minutes so you can waddle to the restroom. No lemonade for you, sir.

• I don’t know what your travel issue is, but the answer is most likely Benadryl.

Air travel is not for sissies. You may as well laugh.

Funny Woman

Judy Garland was very funny!

Watch the movie JUDY for the laughter as well as for the pathos and the singing.

“People always thought I was funny. I was never funny.

You know who was truly funny? Judy Garland.

Judy Garland was funny.

She made me look like a mortician.” 

– Lucille Ball

[…]

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

• You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

• You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

• You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]