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Social Distancing: The Howard Hughes Guide

5 Sep

Social Distancing Pointers from Howard Hughes

Having trouble social distancing

being stuck at home

how ’bout

taking some grooming tips from

the eccentric, reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes –

you will not only be successfully distanced…

people will stay clear away from you!

 

social distancing guide howard hughes

Image Wikimedia Commons

 

DO IT LIKE HOWARD!

  • Wash your hands 15 times a day – so what if you’re wearing gloves? You don’t need a pandemic to be Mr. Clean.

 

  • Wear Kleenex box hats. Nothing like protective headgear to make you feel safe and sound. And much more stylish than a tin foil cap.

 

  • Only bed busty actresses and only have sex with them once, then gorge yourself for months on their housekeeper’s baked goods – while they fantasize about marrying you and helping you handle your filthy millions.

 

Social Distancing Howard Hughes

Image Wikimedia Commons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Grow foot-long, curly fingernails that put Elvira to shame.

 

  • Don’t trim – or comb – your beard for a decade.

 

All in jest.

Books

Read these fantastic biographies of the genius Howard Hughes

Movies

ICYMI… here is a great movie about Howard Hughes

The Aviator (2004) Official Trailer #1 – Leonardo DiCaprio

 

 

 

Joke or Jerk? Sometimes a Joke is Just a Joke

16 Jul

Joke Lighten Up

Lighten Up!

In defense of kind-hearted humor

 

Joke Lighten Up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No kidding!

Sometimes a joke is just a joke.

And not a deliberate manipulation, power play, micro aggression, political attack or intended personal offense.

A Joke is just a Joke

Image taken from a University of Alabama site, “Approaches to Modernism”: [1], Fair use

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny

Sometimes a jest, a quip or a pun is not a Freudian slip – but merely a leap at silliness, a feeble attempt at levity, a verbal slide on a banana peel.

Amazon Jokes Freud

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like almost everything else in this imperfect world, sometimes comedy is really dumb,

but…

Laughter and Play

can bring people closer together and unite them.

Lighten Up Jokes

 

 

 

 

 

Positive humor

Take a flight into whimsy,

a playful swing at fun,

a flirtation with optimism,

a respite from burdensome reality.

Laughter can be the best (if not the cheapest) medicine.

 

Learn more about applied and therapeutic humor…

AATH Humor

 

The Association for Applied & Therapeutic Humor 

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Humor Academy

The Humor Academy

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Free Laughs

 

 

I Started A Joke * Puddles Pity Party

 

Books to Lighten Up Your Summer: 7 Enjoyable Ones

2 Jul

BOOKS!

Perhaps some good reads will save us from the Summer of Slog.

BarbBestHumor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So many books and so much time. Enjoy!

 

These books can be found on Goodreads and Amazon.

Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee

Joy is all around us.

Joyful

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Madwoman and the Roomba: My Year of Domestic Mayhem by Sandra Tsing Loh

Hilarious!

Lighten Up Summer humor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laugh Lines: My Life Helping Funny People Be Funnier by Alan Zweibel

Insightful.

Summer Reads Laugh Lines

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less (Winner of the Pulitzer Prize): A Novel by Andrew Sean Greer

Entertaining.

Less Pulitzer Prize

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Story I Am: Mad About the Writing Life by Roger Rosenblatt 

Interesting.

Summer books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preaching Punchlines: The Ten Commandments of Comedy by Susan Sparks

Thoughtful and funny.

Summer Laughs comedy book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Themes and Variations by David Sedaris

Weird funny.

David Sedaris humor book

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Company 🙂

Goodreads 

Books

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

15 Apr

Rx Comedy Barb Best

Rx Comedy Tonight: A Respite from Pandemic Misery

Comedy Tonight Barb Best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comedy. Laughter. Humor.

Take as often as needed.

No costly doctor’s appointment – in the flesh or virtual – required.

No adverse side effects – not even the usual ones – nausea, headache, constipation, diarrhea, kleptomania, heart attack, tennis elbow, diarrhea, flat foot, droopy eye, dandruff, diarrhea and death.

And – best of all – you can’t overdose on laughter.

Great List ~ Best Comedies to Stream on Netflix ~ Mental Floss

If your time or attention span is short, just watch the trailers for some laughs.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/622691/best-comedies-to-stream-on-netflix

 

Comedy Tonight Barb Best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Classic Cat Mental Health Video

This video is especially funny during these days of isolation and existential angst.

You know you want to laugh.

 

 

“Comedy Tonight ” with Jason Alexander

 

 

A funny thing happened on the way to the pandemic. We maintained our sense of humor 😀

Humor links

https://www.barbbest.com/links/

 

BOOK NEWS! Find Your Funny ~ 2nd Edition

Smiles To Go! The World Needs A Smile

Please support The Association of Applied Therapeutic Humor  and The Humor Academy 

 

April Fools Sh*t Show: National Humor Month

1 Apr

April Fools Sh*t Show: National Humor Month

Welcome to the April Fools Sh*t Show

OMG. A pandemic!

And you thought the worst thing about April would be paying your taxes?

 

April Fools Pandemic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case we all missed it, National Humor Month is here.  Whoopee!

How to celebrate?

How ’bout a month of lock-down, confinement with family and pets (if you’re lucky), unparalleled gut-wrenching anxiety, and mindless navel gazing?

A Sh*tstorm

is “a very unpleasant or difficult situation.”

Ah, don’t you love British understatement?

Patience

Remember – “April showers hitting the fan may bring May flowers and nagging allergies.”

Amusement & Good News

It’s high time to add some amusement to the misery.

Check out John Krasinski and his Good News

 

 

Look, ma! Disney Amusement Park rides on YouTube! And no lines!

 

Be patient and don’t become a patient.

News to Amuse – 7 Items that Won’t Stress You Out

Flying Coach: 7 Sobering Realities of Air Travel

1 Mar

Air travel

Flying coach.

No leg room.

Narrow seats.

Contagions in the air.

You know you love it.

Flying Coach Humor

 

Bring all of your baggage, that is…

except your anxiety, impatience and negativity.

Leave home without them.

###

7 New Realities of Flying

  • Surgical masks shall be worn at all times – their single purpose being to spook the hypochondriac sitting next to you.

 

  • Caution. Traveling with a pet under your seat in the cabin will not satisfy your need for in-flight entertainment. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Ear and nose plugs highly recommended.

 

  • No matter how cute, your emotional support miniature horse is not permitted to give pony rides to toddlers in the aisle. Nothing interferes with the important business of mile-high soft drink and pretzel delivery. Not even a viral video opportunity.

 

  • New FAA rule: All babies qualify as emotional support animals and shall fly for free.

 

  • While slogging through security, there will be no joking! Especially about da bomb you are hiding in your oddly heavy carry-on bag.

 

Flying Coach Travel Tips

 

  • If you are a gentleman of advanced age and your prostate is the size of a giant lemon, please pay for an aisle seat. It’s unseemly for us to interrupt our Netflix binging and get up every fifteen minutes so you can waddle to the restroom. No lemonade for you, sir.

 

  • I don’t know what your travel issue is, but the answer is most likely Benadryl.

 

Air travel is not for sissies. You may as well laugh.

 

 

 

Funny Woman Celebrated: Judy Garland

7 Feb

Funny Woman

Judy Garland was very funny!

Watch the movie JUDY for the laughter as well as for the pathos and the singing.

 

“People always thought I was funny. I was never funny.

You know who was truly funny? Judy Garland.

Judy Garland was funny.

She made me look like a mortician.” 

Lucille Ball

[…]

Millennials: 7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

18 Jan

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

Millennials

We love to tease our sweet, mindful millennials.

Especially because we parents nurtured and raised them to be the transcendent humans they are!

Millennials Too Sick to Go To Work

 

7 Signs You’re Too Sick to Go to Work

  • You sneezed and it isn’t allergy season. This acute onset of respiratory symptoms could be flu germs attempting to attack your immune system.  A morning nap, a healing foot massage and a toasty burrata taco is just what the doctor ordered.

~ Stay Home

  • You stubbed your toe. If not attended to, this could develop into a chronic pain syndrome – then where would your career be? Think long-term.

~ Stay Home

  • You feel sort of dizzy this morning and you don’t think it’s the pitcher of Piña Coladas you ingested at your gender reveal party last night. It could be benign positional vertigo, but let’s not take a chance.

~ Stay Home […]

Worry Warts: What to Kvetch About in 2020

5 Jan

What to Worry About in 2020

Do you worry?
Just in case you need some assistance in thinking up fresh new things to worry about…
I am at your service.
Worry Warts Humor

 

I overthink. I fret. I ruminate. Yes, I engage in tireless philosophical inquiry – so you don’t have to.
Here is my list for the new year.
Knock yourself out!
Enjoy!

 

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New Year, New Worries, Anxieties, and Fears

 

  • Porch Pirates  Beware, Matey – even if you don’t have a porch. BTW this is a shadow industry of Amazon Prime.
  • Gluten-free everything
  • World War III
  • THE election
  • Your friends are going all Marie Kondo on you.  So much for “Shop ’til You Drop” trips to the Mall.
  • Boomers are blowing their retirement savings on pot, hips, and knees
  • Alien abductions caught on doorbell cams
  • Wood-inspired flooring   Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
  • You don’t have the new iPhone and you never will.
  • Neo-tribal tattooing
  • Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos,  and plant-based faux cheese burgers.  Hold the fries.  Better yet, hold your nose.
  • You don’t own a single slice of Apple stock  🙁

 

worry warts new year humor

 

Bonus * Insights for 2020

  • The ink that is no longer being used to print books… now appears in the humongous tattoos on your neighbor’s humongous ass.
  • Suggested names for the next Kardashian baby: “Kash” “Ka-Ching” “Kitschy”
  • Again, who needs resolutions when you have worries?

 

Parents Offer Advice: 7 Naughty & Nice Tips

21 Dec

Parents Offer Advice: Naughty & Nice

Parents! What are you teaching your children?

As the holidays ding-a-ling-ling and ho-ho-ho themselves

into our hearts and psyches…

let’s take a moment to reflect 🙂

 

Naughty Nice Pearls of Wisdom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Random Advice from Parents

 

  • If you look at your phone screen 50 hours everyday, you will get eye stroke!

Eye stroke exists…  https://bit.ly/36OPGl9

 

  • Don’t bathe in sequins, glitter or anything shiny that can lodge itself in your nether regions.

Naughty news: Woman bathes in glitter…  https://bit.ly/38UmwD2 

 

Naughty Nice Parental Advice Funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Robots are not your friend.

Wacky robot hotel admits its bedside cameras could have exposed guests to peeping hackers…

https://bit.ly/35M2V6l

 

  • Don’t gulp your food. Chew it 22 times before swallowing, especially if it’s a chunky smoothie.

 

  • Warning: Don’t run with scissors, X-ACTO knives or chainsaws. If you must run, run away from the wolves.

Parental Advice Funny Books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Caution: “He/She/They/Prefer not to identify with any gender” who laughs last… and needs the joke explained to “Him/Her/Them/They/Prefer not to identify with any gender“… may be suffering from a concussion. Consult a doctor or Google.

 

  • Among other things, life is a full-time job.  Nice work if you can get it – even if it doesn’t always pay well.

 

Holiday stress… this, too, shall pass.

 

Parental Advice humor books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Humor Books Available on Amazon

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!