Archive by Author

Help! I’m A Data Hoarder

26 Jun

Help! I’m A Data Hoarder.   

Some day, perhaps sooner than later, neighbors may find me buried in a morass of festering digital clutter – twitter droppings, zipper files, news video, old songs, new songs, You Tube footage of nursing puppies and stupid person pranks, piles of podcasts and miles of ezines, ebooks, PDFs, JPEGS, GIFS.

TLC’s fascinating show “Hoarding: Buried Alive” features folks suffering from various forms of compulsive-obsessive disorder, attachment disorder, addiction and/or dementia. These avid collectors seem unable to throw out anything – especially if it’s downright disgusting: old underwear, plastic snakes, used cardboard, moldy muffins, dead cats, apple cores, ex-spouses. You get the messy “Where’s Waldo?” picture.

However, with therapy and support and some serious begging from clinical psychologists, disgruntled relatives and a U-Haul Truck full of unbelievably patient professional organizers, the hoarders begin to clean up their acts.

For my part, I finally ditched my long serving desktop computer as it was becoming a data death camp. It is a tremendous step in clearing up my “over byte” problem!

Forget preservation. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Stop, drop and delete.

Is computer clutter a problem for you?

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

FOLLOW me on Twitter @HaBarb

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Weekend Funny 5

22 Jun

You’ve run out of bare skin on your awesome bod, so – guess what – it’s time for Fido and Fluffy to get inked – oh, yeah – Pets with tattoosBARBBEST

Why can’t everyday be Take Your Dog To Work Day – June 22, 2012

“Renaissance Man” (and banjo player) Steve Martin has a new CD  SteveMartinBarbBest

Why are cats so funny?

CAT video – playing piano

Enhanced by Zemanta

I Need Coffee

19 Jun

COFFEE! For millions (like me) it’s as necessary as the air we breathe.  Many of us (like me) are happily addicted to our caffeinated coffee. We are wired, buzzed, adrenalized due to the turb0-charged brown bean. And Starbucks = Coffee.

Meet Kenny! I met the affable (like me) author Kenneth Brown and his lovely wife Ashley at the Book Expo of America. Kenneth is a coffee connoisseur and former Starbucks manager who has written an entertaining and informative book Inside the Cup: Translating  Starbucks into a Drinkable Language.

In Inside the Cup, you can learn to speak Starbucks – like me, you know you want to increase your cool factor:

“Wet doppio macchiato. Espresso con panna venti. 5 Pump caramel frappuccino mocha extra whip. Triple, breve espresso macchiato.” Mamma Mocha Mia!

You can discover which of the 10 Starbucks Customers you are:  Are you the Buddy-Buddy, the Mom, the Runner, a Regular?  The Starbucks Maven?

There’s a terrific chapter / list of Kids’ Drinks – and ALL are decaffeinated. Organic chocolate milk. Cinnamon dolce syrup. Blended strawberry lemonade. Yum.

There are lots of FUN facts, quotes, and even a chapter on – OMGtea.

The “Caffeine content of popular Starbucks beverages” table – priceless!

Inside the Cup. Available as an eBook and paperback on Amazon.

I’m curious… how important is coffee to your day? Are you hooked?

Starbucks Touchscreen Storefronts

Starbucks Touchscreen Storefronts (Photo credit: DavidErickson)

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Weekend Funny 5

15 Jun

In honor of Father’s Day this Sunday, here are some Dad writers I LOVE!

Dan Zevin    FUNNY author at danzevin.com, Thurber Prize for American Humor finalist.  NEW book Dan Gets A Minivan

DanZevin                            

 

Jim Higley    Motivational writer “Bobblehead Dad”         BobbleHeadDad

 

 

 

 

Tim Bete    Classic parody!  Cap’n Billy “TheButcher” MacDougall’s  Guide to Pirate Parenting

 

TimBete                       TimBete

 

Patrick Caneday   Graceful writer and brilliant newspaper columnist. His book is Crooked Birdhouse: Random Thoughts On Being Human

 

PatrickCaneday                         PatrickCaneday

 

Bill Cosby    Fun stuff on his web site BillCosby.com  

 

Chocolate cake for breakfast, yeah!

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

I Feel Your Pain

12 Jun

When it comes to pain, death has to be way up there on the list.

Before you “check out” for good, check out this funny and touching collection of essays, EXIT LAUGHING: How Humor Takes the Sting Out of Death.

This remarkable anthology is edited by novelist Victoria Zackheim. I met Victoria last week at the Book Expo of America.  Her impressive bio is here.

The stories are profoundly life and laughter affirming.  Exit Laughing is available on Amazon. Enjoy!

 

Amazon Customer Review

5.0 out of 5 stars Laughing All The Way,June 11, 2012
This review is from: Exit Laughing: How Humor Takes the Sting Out of Death (Io) (Paperback)

Exit Laughing is a fascinating anthology. It lovingly takes on the subject of death with grace, courage, and (thank God!) humor. It’s this celebration of laughter, even in dying and death, that makes the book so remarkable. The essays are poignant, funny, and memorable. They demonstrate the life-affirming power of humor. A great collection edited by Victoria Zackheim.

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Weekend Funny 5

8 Jun

Check out this terrific writer! Darlene Sneden * Adventures of a Middle Age Mom She has a piece in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Married Life!

 

You think YOU are having a bad hair day? How To Be Totally Miserable by Anne Hathaway  Les Miserables  

 

12 Most Hilarious Seinfeld Episodes by Brad Shorr      (Posted by on May 30, 2012)

 

An Ivy League rap video by comedienne Nicki Muller

 

HA, HA, HA, MEOW!

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sparkle

5 Jun

I am determined that a pesky little critter the size of a penis will not get the best of me.

Yes, I refer to the gopher – that infuriating, beady-eyed rodent.

 

My heart stopped when I spotted that first heinous dirt mound near my prize-winning Kehr Hybrid azalea bushes in

my meticulously manicured front yard.  My busybody neighbor informed me the peculiar mound is due to a gopher.

“They can really destroy a lawn. Ha, Ha, Ha…” he needled me.

The stress and irritation of this creature invasion has catapulted me into a crisis:

Blood pressure higher than a kytoon, sleep tortured by ghosts of gophers past, present, and future, dirt-filled

fingernails gnawed to the bone, digestion disrupted, mental faculties in disarray, martini consumption and

general crankiness escalating off the charts.

I repeat. I am determined that a pesky little critter the size of a penis will not get the best of me.

Being a thinking person at least occasionally, I pursue sound, logical approaches to the problem:

  1. Trapping with artisan cheese
  2. Flooding by garden hose
  3. Water boarding
  4. Smoke bombs
  5. Elaborate fencing
  6. Sonar repeller rods (a regrettable purchase from the captivating but essentially useless Sky Mall Catalog)
  7. Death by dog (sicking our aging beagle Flopsie on the vile little bugger)
  8. 100% Organic, gold-lined chemicals designed to euthanize the prickly pest (special precautions taken so I don’t kill my beloved cat… even though he treats me with all the respect offered a convicted sex offender)
  9. Blasting mezzo-soprano Whitney Houston classics into the tunnel. Perhaps the piercing high notes will call him to Jesus?
  10. Creative visualization – I imagine the gopher as road kill on my local interstate.

Nothing works.  I resort to sniveling, cajoling, begging, and sobbing. However, this hurts me with the kids as they sense incompetence and despair faster than they can hit the local “all-you-can-eat buffet.”

After five weeks of soul numbing failure to exterminate the furry little Fuhrer, I succumb to a pitcher of Orange Blossom (heavy on the sweet Vermouth) for divine inspiration.  Voila. I am struck with an answer so counter-intuitive yet brilliantly simple I want to scream.

Go with a Zen approach. Just “go for it.” Ohm. Peace envelops my entire being. Ohm. Ohm.

I accept you, oh measly gopher. Ohm.

Ohm. Ohm.

I am now “one” with my fuzzy friend. Amen.

Weekend Funny 5

1 Jun

Dare to be different!

 

Julie Ott (“I’m sarcastic. What’s your superpower?”) has a FAB Friday Funnies feature on her Ottmama blog 

 

“Goodnight, We Love You” The Life and Legend of Phyliss Diller.  A must-see documentary by Gregg Barson on trailblazing comedienne, accomplished pianist, and painter PHYLISS DILLER.  On Netflix.

A gracious & kind artist

 

Hey, why not?  Your bananas have tattoos.  Turning Coffee Stains Into Art

 

Great new book!  Steal Like An Artist 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative by Austin Kleon

 

 

Weirdest Baby Names by Pamela Redmond Satran

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/weirdest-baby-names_b_1539659.html

Enhanced by Zemanta

My Summer Bummers

29 May

Fun in the sun isn’t always fun.  A day at the beach can be more misery than merriment. And now they tell us sunscreen gives us cancer? Ain’t that sweet 🙂

My 15 summer bummers… What are yours?

1.   Swimsuit wardrobe malfunction when faking bravado on the Boogie Board

2.   Sunburn on private parts

3.   Younger, slimmer, and obviously richer women donning floss bikinis, spray tans, and serious diamond earrings

4.   Being buried in bacteria filthy, crab infested, scalding sand for the amusement and photo opp pleasure of loved ones

5.   People who use “summer” as a verb, but not “budget” as a verb

6.   A plethora of hideous tattoos scribbled on every hairy limb like graffiti on a sunset

7.   Blowing up that darn beach ball, feeling dizzy, maybe it’s a stroke

8.   That skanky fish smell that blows off the stagnant bay

9.   Jellyfish who stalk just you

10. Kids who whine “I’m bored” because you’re not entertaining them 24-7

11.  Dutifully applying and reapplying sunscreen only to find out it causes skin cancer – classic example of “Damn if you do, damn if you don’t!”

12.  Joggers impervious to triple digit temperatures

13.  Gnats in my mojito

14.  Listening to perfectly nice folks mispronounce “mojito”

15.  Shark attacks, guaranteed to spoil the mood!

Sharing is caring. WHAT ARE YOUR SUMMER BUMMERS?

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Weekend Funny 5

25 May

TGIF

 

Every Friday I feature 5 LINKS to LAUGHTER. Enjoy!

 

How to Bake a Chicken Without Flippin’ the Bird Lisa Tognola

Another food mystery solved at Mental Floss

The Hilarious Rachael Ray  Food Network Humor

How To Tattoo A Banana  Admit it, bananas are funny.

 

Oprah Show Funniest Moments